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Grim down the bottom

It’s squeaky bum time at the wrong end of the Premier League, with just five points separating five teams. Any two of QPR, Bolton, Blackburn, Wigan and Aston Villa could join Wolves in the Championship next year. With the loss of revenue that comes with relegation, the difficulty in keeping hold of the club’s best players and attracting new players, a trend has emerged in recent years of relegated clubs going into freefall rather than bouncing straight back into the big time. Portsmouth going down to League One only a few years after the FA Cup Final is indicative of the perils facing relegated clubs in the modern game. Was John Utaka the biggest waste of money ever? Anyway, I digress. The Championship is littered with Premier League clubs of yesteryear, and as a Bolton Wanderers fan I can tell one of the worst things about the looming spectre of relegation is the prospect of having to stay up on a Saturday after the Match of the Day crowd has dispersed and listen to Manish on the Football League Show to catch a glimpse of us getting beaten by Barnsley or Peterborough.

Forget the Manchester derby next Monday, the real action at this time of year goes on at the basement end of the table. Sure, Chelsea versus Barca was pretty good. Rooney and Tevez will put on a show on Monday, and there are definitely a couple of twists left in this title race, but a David N’Gog winner surely deserves more attention.

The relegation battle has been thrown wide open by Wigan Athletic beating United, Arsenal and Liverpool in the last five weeks. The crunch game against Blackburn on 7th May could see them to safety, given that they are at home to Wolves on the last day of the season, who have nothing to play for and have managed to ship 75 goal thus far. It would be a truly miraculous story if Blackburn manage to escape the drop, but with memories of the Venkys promising European football and Ronaldinho still fresh, who knows what to expect. They say that the team that is bottom at Christmas is nailed on to go down, and the Yak will need to get Rovers points at Spurs, against Wigan at Ewood Park and then at Chelsea on the final day to survive. If Wigan get 3 points at Blackburn it’s hard to see Rovers escaping the drop and likely Wigan will survive. Given that Chelsea are now in the Champions League final, if Di Matteo puts out a weakened side there is still a glimmer of hope. Plus you can’t help but feel a bit sorry for Steve Kean. How was he to know Scott Dann would rupture his testicle?

QPR definitely have the toughest run in, but three points at home to Stoke would probably put them safe, and give us all the privilege and the pleasure of another 12 months of Joey Barton in the Premier League. In the past few weeks Adel Taraabt has given a few glimpses of the talent that had everyone talking about him at the start of the season, and if they stay up there should be more to come from him next year, and any other signings that Tony Fernandes bankrolls.

For Bolton to survive, they will need three points at home to West Brom, and pick up points on their travels to Sunderland and Stoke on the last day. Fair play to Owen Coyle, he definitely needs recognition if the Trotters stay up given that he has had one of Kevin Davies, Ivan Klasnic and N’gog leading the line all year. Sadly the days of the likes of Jay Jay Okocha and Fernando Hierro gracing the Reebok and I can certaintly see Bolton going down. They essentially need one of Wigan and QPR to not pick up any points, the two teams of the five that have been in the best form of late and begun to drag themselves out of the mire.

Villa still need a win and a draw to reach the 40 point mark, the traditional yardstick to avoid relegation, and they are definitely not safe yet, but Blackburn are definitely most likely to go down, followed by QPR and Bolton. Saying that, the chances are that I’m completely wrong.

What is certain however, is that there will be a montage on Match of the Day of crying children being comforted by their dads as they watch their team go down, and some fat tattooed men taking their tops off celebrating someone like Grant Hanley or Gary Caldwell shinning a corner in at the back post. We shouldn’t deny them their moment in the sun: there is so much more to the Premier League and football in general than the title race or the battle for European qualification. Aside from the heartache and traumatic memories, the bottom end of the table six pointers throw up some real passion and magical moments. With Reading promoted for next season, the short trip to the Madjeski from Oxford represents the perfect opportunity to watch some top flight football. But rather than getting tickets for when United or City come into town, take a punt and go and see Ryan Shawcross pull shirts or Lee Cattermole get away with a ridiculous number of fouls, it might be a welcome change from the superstars.

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