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Colleges and their Movies

Ever wondered what movie your college would be represented by if a poorly informed writer, armed only with Wikipedia and vague stereotyoes, took a swipe at it? Well, look no further! Current students and curious freshers can get to the heart of Oxford’s college system with this Guide to Oxford Colleges as Represented by Spurious Movie Associations!

Balliol The Birth of a Nation (1915)

Not a comment on its politics, they’re both just, let’s say, really influential.

Brasenose Dr Strangelove (1964)

 A farce about what happens when you give stupid people a lot of power.

Christchurch Cruel Intentions (1999)

It’s all a bit too upper class and incestuous but damn does it look good.

Corpus Christi Daddy Day Care (2003)

Corpus is really small and I figured this was a safer way of illustrating that than going with circus freaks.

Exeter Mamma Mia! (2008)

Better location than it is a film.

Harris Manchester Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Let’s face it; they’re both awful names.

Hertford The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

They both involve bridges, to a greater or lesser extent.

Jesus Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

According to Wikipedia, he’s their most famous alumnus. That is now everything I know about the college.

Keble Sleepy Hollow (1999)

 That neo-Gothic façade is straight out of the mind of Tim Burton.

Lady Margaret Hall Cast Away (2000)

It’s really far away.

Lincoln The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

Both involve a certain amount of ‘living rough’.

Magdalen Bambi (1942)

They both contain their fair share of deer and animal slaughter (disclaimer: the latter part is pure conjecture).

Mansfield Beneath the Darkness (2012)

It’s quite new but you still probably haven’t heard of it.

Merton Inception (2010)

It’s expensive and thinks it’s very clever. Also, they’re both big on zero gravity fights.

New The Squid and the Whale (2005)

The reason I hate misleading titles; you think you’re in for two hours of fish based fun and you get a sermonising treatise on divorce.

Oriel The Matrix (1999)

A while ago, it was considered really good. Now? Meh, not so much.

Pembroke Heaven’s Gate (1980)

Extraordinarily expensive and, if current figures are to be believed, not very good at all. My college loyalty only stretches so far.

Queen’s Cold Mountain (2003)

It’s got a beautiful location but, all things considered, this film’s kind of boring.

Somerville Calendar Girls (2003)

Harmless and big on the X chromosome, the comparison stops when the clothes come off.

St Anne’s  Lost in Translation (2003)

It might seem slightly obscure, but the St Anne’s Porter’s Lodge reminds me of the hotel from Lost in Translation.

St Catherine’s Tron (1982)

A weird vision of the future in which everything looks terrible.

Teddy Hall The Horse in Motion (1878)

The first film ever made which, coincidentally, probably wouldn’t do very well in the Norrington Table.

St Hilda’s Mosquito on the 10th Floor (1983)

Nope, I hadn’t heard of it either.

St Hugh’s Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

Kind of recycling my LMH joke here but I’m sure you get the picture.

St John’s Avatar(2009)

The most expensive movie ever made. Some might call it crass but you can’t dispute its ambition.

St Peter’s Friends (1971)

I know, I didn’t realise it was also a movie.

Trinity Casablanca (1942)

The ultimate movie about temptation. Happy to let you look, so long as you don’t even think about touching.

University College The Movies (1925)

If only all names were this obvious and self-explanatory.

Wadham Brokeback Mountain (2005)

I have a quota of crude stereotypes that I have to fill.

Worcester My Week With Marilyn (2011)

Emma Watson was in it for about 5 minutes.

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