New Year’s Resolutions
We seem to have an inexplicable need for self-improvement in the New Year, manifesting itself in New Year’s resolutions. Many of us will go on a ‘detox’; merely thinking about eating nothing but steamed fish, vegetables and the occasional cheeky cube of melon – a la Victoria Beckham – will surely have the pounds falling off, we reason. Then there is the inevitable vow to ‘work harder’ – usually, this ends up not translating to actual work, but the construction of an extremely lengthy and unrealistic revision plan, complete with colour coding.
Many of us simply drown our sorrows and get horribly drunk. We have the tools at our disposal; due to parents getting trigger happy in the alcohol aisle of Sainsburys in the pre-Christmas shop, there is more often than not ample drink lying round the house. We capitalise on this.
Ignorance is bliss; we choose to ignore the bank balance, which is so far into the red that it must be a dark shade of crimson, and flock to the sales like moths to a flame. We ease the pain of the return to work and responsibility by buying absolute shit that we don’t want and don’t need. People of all ages succumb to the overwhelming adverts and flashy signs; girls leave Topshop clutching bags of size-16 tops, whilst adults abashedly skulk around DFS buying gaudy three-piece suites. Retail therapy is an oft-used method to alleviate the doom and gloom of January.
Making every day Boxing Day
Boxing Day is quite simply a brilliant day, consisting of lying around in pyjamas, drinking, eating and watching films. Consequently we try to emulate this great occasion for days (weeks) afterwards. We flout work (collections, what collections?) and simply work through our DVD box set of choice. For a few days at least, the New Year isn’t looking so bad after all.