Jesus gets hot tub

Jesus College JCR is hiring a hot tub for its final year students. The motion, passed unanimously on Sunday, was proposed by finalist Fraser-Jay Myers and supported by welfare officer Eva Sprecher. “This JCR notes that 9th Week Trinity term is always hot,” it read, “and that JCR members (especially finalists) have worked extremely hard this year and deserve a reward.”

The motion resolved, “To mandate the JCR Committee to hire a hot tub for Barts (although sadly not a hot tub time machine) during 9th Week Trinity term, costing up to £400.”

Finalists are bubbling with excitement. Sarah Coombes, a history and politics third-year at Jesus, said, “This is the second year the hot tub initiative has been run, and it’s turning into a great Jesus tradition. Everyone knows finals are stressful and hot tubs are relaxing. This is a way of the JCR saying ‘well done for getting through it’. There are few better ways of waving Oxford goodbye than from a hot tub at your accommodation.”

She added, “Please can we have one every year?”

Amused students in lower years were bathed in high expectations. Second year economist Eddie Shore said, “Frankly I’m disgusted by the pedestrian nature of the hot tub in question. We were promised time travel, and the JCR has failed yet again to deliver the thrills that our college so desperately needs.”

The tub is scheduled to arrive in 8th Week.