Democracy to remain intact at Teddy Hall

Teddy Hall JCR is to remain a democratic institution, as a presidential candidate, who planned on declaring himself ‘Lord Marshal’ and erecting a gold statue of himself in the college’s front quad, lost last night’s election. Michael Rundle, a third year Law student, gained 43 votes to Seb Siersted’s 124. A third candidate, English student Jack Moran, received 47 votes.

Rundle’s manifesto, which featured a Napoleon-inspired mock-up of Rundle, stated his intentions to ‘prevent poor electoral turnout by removing all forms of JCR democracy’, ‘stop difficult constitutional crises by deleting the Constitution’, ‘beautify the Front Quad by installing a golden statue of your Lord Marshal’ and ‘enlarge College rooms by capturing the Principal’s Lodgings and annexing parts of New College’.

During the hustings for the election, Rundle asked, “Why have a president when you can have a Lord Marshal?” His proposals included installing “a second telly above the old one which will encourage bonding”, procuring an “iron throne” for him to sit in during JCR meetings and creating a JCR army which he would “lead like Napoleon or Moses”.

He also reiterated his plans to erect “a bronze statue of me, possibly standing on the Principal” and to impose a ban on democracy, noting that in the latter case the JCR “wouldn’t have to worry about who to vote for and have more time to spend drinking or working on your work”.

Rundle told Cherwell, “I decided to stand because I am the hero Teddy Hall deserves but not the one it needs. The other candidates only adopted the JCR; I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding.”

Rundle reportedly planed to turn up to the hustings dressed as Bane from The Dark Knight Rises, or Napoleon.

The JCR presidential candidates were asked at the hustings for their stance on several college issues including the recent ‘Blurred Lines’ motion and the rent freeze negotiated by the outgoing JCR president. Ideological differences between the candidates were obvious from the off; where Siersted seemed to agree with Moran that “demanding will not work” when negotiating with the College, Rundle proposed solving accommodation issues by capturing the Principal’s Lodgings, stating that he wanted to “blow a hole in the wall at 4 in the morning… like in The Dark Knight Rises”. Nonetheless, he conceded that he may “ask nicely, possibly with a very large stick,” were he to win the election.

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Despite his unsuccessful campaign, Rundle is likely to be undeterred by Siersted’s victory. Speaking to Cherwell before the results for the election were announced, Rundle said, “Talking of chances is silly because whether or not I win the election I will become Lord Marshal of the JCR.”

He added that his first act as Lord Marshal would be “the removal of the constitution and the opening of negotiations to buy tridents.”

Some may not be happy to hear of Rundle’s determination to become Lord Marshal. One Teddy Hall student told Cherwell, “I found Rundle’s pitiable entry into the Presidential Elections the most egregious example of narcissism; it was purely self-serving and only served to undermine a JCR that actually tries to do a hell of a lot to improve the general existence of its students.”

Yet, Tom Wood, an English finalist, disagreed. He commented, “I feel Rundle made, despite being a ‘joke’ candidate, a serious point by running. Neither of the other two candidates appear to be up to the job, basing their campaigns around empty promises of extra bops, and celebratory dinners for the already well-funded sports teams. 

“I’m personally very disappointed by the outcome — my employment prospects as an English graduate look significantly bleaker now I can’t hope to be conscripted into Rundle’s army. One can only hope that he will rise from the ashes of this defeat and take control of the JCR by force.”