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The 5 biggest music baddies of 2013

5. Rebecca Black

The internet went into meltdown when teen star Rebecca Black, who rose to fame in 2011 with famously awful music video ‘Friday’, released a follow up; ‘Saturday’. Maybe it’s a bit mean calling her a music baddy. It was, like, really bad, but amusing in a oh-dear-what-has-teenage-society-come-to sort of way. The song and video, produced with YouTube musician Dave Days, saw Miss Black recover from her Friday night partying and eat cereal, before hitting the beach and heading to a wild party with a Miley Cyrus look-a-like (there’s no escape!). Well at least it was entertaining.

4. James Arthur

Poor James. Like most of the X Factor winners, I sort of feel bad for him. A year after winning, who even is he? Someone who makes ill-advised homophobic insults, clearly. “You f***ing queer,” said Arthur in his “diss rap” to MC Micky Worthless, triggering an on-air apology when he made a repeat appearance on the X Factor earlier this month. As a result of the slur, he tweeted “#LOVE to my fans but I’m coming off twitter. HQ will be doing all my tweets from now on. PEACE!” Probably for the best.

3. Justin Bieber

When will this torment end? The hair may be shorter, but the crotches have got lower, he’s started assaulting photographers, and the all purple has been replaced by all white (eughhhh). If that wasn’t offensive enough, he showed up three hours late to his London show, disappointing hundreds of little girls, and he has punished twitter and instagram with topless snapback selfies and poor grammar. To make matters worse, he recently decided to release a new song every Monday. Lucky us.

2. Miley Cyrus

2013 was the year of the Miley takeover. The tongue brandishing songstress dominated and disturbed our TV screens, radios, and newsfeeds. She was even the butt of the winning gag in a Christmas cracker joke competition. It was all pretty repulsive, but Cyrus’ twerking and mockery of African American culture was probably the most disturbing. That and the foam finger thing, which was a bit weird.

1. Robin Thicke

The misogynist of the year award goes to the creepy Simon Cowell lookalike Robin Thicke, and his big… ego. The video for ‘Blurred Lines’ had lots of lady bums and boobs, whilst the three male stars were nicely covered up. Funny that. As the terrible singer stumbled his way through the repeated line “I know you want it,” feminists balked in disgust. It was so bad in fact, that several Oxford JCRs banned it from bops and areas around college, following a trend set by Edinburgh University. Intelligent and respectful students of Oxford, I implore you: next time ‘Blurred Lines’ comes on in a club, instead of tearing up that sticky dance floor shouting every sexist lyric, stand still and silent in protest. If not because of its horrible sentiment, because it’s an utterly rubbish song.

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