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Toulon and Saracens are finalists for a reason

Amidst football fans charging around with abacuses trying to figure out who will win the league if X beat Y, some rugby has been going on. This weekend saw, in its last year, both Heineken Cup semi-finals: Saracens vs Clermont Auvergne and Toulon vs Munster, the former being a spectacular romp, the latter being pretty dull.

Two years since Clermont Auvergne beat Saracens in the same competition 22-3, in a match described as men against boys, the tables were turned. A much beefier and more aggressive Saracens humiliated their French guests, at a half empty Twickenham. Clermont are famously undefeated in 76 home games, but, fulfilling French rugby’s stereotype, they are a very different beast in away games. In fact, there was nothing intimidating about their performance, and Pundits pointed to the “Southern Africans” of Saracens as having a particularly large influence: a reference to flair favourite Schalk Brits, and Jacques Burger, the Namibian captain. Brits continues to ignore the traditional front row preserves of static pushing, being portly and sporting intimidating beards by showcasing twinkling toes and soft hands normally found only in the delicate world of the backs.

Burger played like Lewis Moody if Lewis Moody had been a better player, throwing himself around relentlessly. The gain line was Burger’s from start to finish, and even Sivivatu and the other experienced Clermont players looked out of ideas. The most annoying man in world rugby, Chris Ashton, was, frustratingly, on very good form. He isn’t the biggest, quickest or most elusive runner, but he is in the right place at the right time a lot of the time. He bagged a brace and created a third for Chris Wyles, and even managed to restrict himself to a toned down swan dive.

Upsettingly for England fans who remember various defensive failings from Ashton, he will probably be on the plane to New Zealand with England as a result. Personally, as a Welsh fan I’m delighted at the prospect of Ashton reclaiming his England place.

More exciting, from an English point of view, a are Stuart Lancaster’s talks with Steffon Armitage, probably the stand out English back row of the last few years. Lancaster may look to make an exception to his no foreign-based players rules. He is big, strong, scary and very mobile for a man that looks like he is more of a Hassan’s than an Itsu customer. Chris Robshaw should start worrying.

Toulon predictably beat waning European giant Munster through Jonny Wilkinson’s predictable boot, although he did miss one kick, which was probably the most interesting thing to happen in the match. Simply, he remains very good at kicking, which is good, I suppose. Toulon’s 7 penalties and a drop goal trumped Munster’s converted try and 3 penalties, 24-16. The midfield oomph of Bastareaud was telling, and Toulon’s stuttering effort seemed to overpower Munster’s stuttering effort.

Reportedly Toulon had already booked accommodation in Cardiff for the final before the semi-final. Unfortunately, I think Wilkinson and his highly salaried team mates can probably start to decide which champagne to ice too.

Unless Burger and co. can keep Toulon behind the gainline, and nullify the threats from big lumps Armitage and Bastareaud, the career of Jonny Wilkinson will end on a high.

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