Valentine’s day is the worst day of the year. It has to be. No other day has the capacity to make people feel so depressed, lonely and unloved as it does. And my, does it do a good job!

Those in a relationship are forced to buy into this corporate consumerist construct with fatuous ‘romantic’ clichés – roses, chocolates etc. Not only is it completely inappropriate not to get your ‘loved one’ at least one of the above, but doing so is taken for granted and costs a small fortune. First, there are the Valentine’s plans themselves. Do you book Quod or Jamie’s? What do you do when all your friends tell her you’ve rented out a barge, when you’ve never even set foot on one and you’re scared of water anyway? It’s not enough anymore to get someone a rose either. You have to get them a cute, fluffy teddy bear to go with it. Then there’s the mandatory heart-shaped balloon. The fact that there is an expectation to deliver should mean that every gift, kiss, or “I love you” is taken as a product of this expectation, even (and this is the cruel thing) if it’s not.
However, most people are too materialistic and easily-pleased to care that their other half is only doing it because they see Valentine’s Day as a test, up there with anniversaries. Some people relish it as an excuse or opportunity to be romantic to their partner. If you require the assistance of a calendar to tell you when to be nice to the person you love, you and your relationship need serious help. And anyway, if you are going to pick a day to be particularly romantic, attentive and affectionate, don’t pick the one day that everyone else is doing the same. If you’re single, then a day as perfectly ordinary as every other suddenly becomes one of unparalleled misery.
So if you felt upset on Tuesday because no one loves you, then you were being a moron – no one loves you on any other day of the year either. If you were upset because you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or haven’t been asked out on a date, then why not feel that on every other day? Valentine’s Day is not a day of love; love would get on perfectly well without it. It’s a day of consumerism, hypocrisy and inadequacy.