*Importantly, this is from Peep Show.

Alec Fullerton

Fourth Year, French

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Nell gets top marks for originality – I’ve never been on a date that began with a wine tasting and ended feverishly pursuing a fox through a housing estate. In an effort to exploit the enigmatic ‘International Man of Mystery’ vibe I’ve been cultivating since returning from France, I thought I’d flex my year abroad oenological muscles (that’s the study of wine for you non-linguist philistines) by whisking Nell along to a quaint little bar à vin in my ‘ends’ (her term). It may seem so far as if our date went off without a hitch. I’m afraid I must correct you. In what is easily the most bizarrely disturbing thing I’ve ever been told, Nell decided to inform me that, and I quote: “If you rub a daddy long legs into a wound, it will kill you.” She messaged me the following day with a screenshot debunking this ‘urban myth.’ Puzzling.

What was your first impression? Alpha female

Personality? Well-seasoned, like a good steak.

Any awkward moments? I *momentarily* forgot her name

Nell Norman

Second Year, French and Italian

Christ Church

Alec is something of a wildcard. He confidently assured me that the Duke of Cambridge (where we had arranged to meet) was full and that we ought to head to a nearby wine bar – a pretty romantic setting for a first encounter. As we drank, the frequency and intensity of his Peep Show references proved an enjoyable juxtaposition to our surroundings. We continued on a kind of bar crawl through Jericho (I think? I was very lost – he could have been taking me literally anywhere), as he discussed his brushes with the law, shades of white, the architecture of Bridge, and Johnny Cash. It was a surprisingly enjoyable evening: he took the piss out of me throughout, but I do sort of like it when he’s rude to me. (Hopefully that’s more a psychological defect than a weird sexual thing?)

What was your first impression? Not my Channing Tatum

Personality? 10% banter, 90% Peep Show

Any awkward moments? He kept flirting with the waitress!