Student tramps to bed

A Christ Church student who woke up next to a middle-aged
homeless person after a night out has vowed never to drink again. Adam Harris, a first year physicist, claims the unidentified
woman was “about 50 years old” and was “probably
an alcoholic”. Harris, who admits that some details of his
ordeal are still fairly vague, thinks he had been at the Park End
nightclub for the evening. He does know that he was
“completely hammered”. At around 3 or 4 am he stumbled to Sid’s kebab van, which
was parked on St Aldate’s opposite Christ Church. Harris
then became embroiled in a drunken argument with a woman over
whether he was a member of the college. Harris told Cherwell that he became “confused” and
somehow unintentionally allowed the woman back to his room at
Christ Church. “I don’t remember inviting her
back,” he added. Further details of subsequent events are lost forever, as
Harris’s own alcohol-maligned memory has completely failed
him. What is clear is that Harris fell asleep with the woman by
his side. When he woke up at 7am he was horrified. “It was a
nightmare. I told her to leave straight away,” he said.
“I was still a little bit drunk, so I led her out of the
front entrance.” Harris was hoping that nobody was going to
find out about his “little secret”, but was dismayed to
find that a women’s rowing crew had seen him leading the
woman out of the college. Returning to his room Harris discovered that his hospitality
had been generously rewarded – the woman had left him an
empty mini-bottle of gin and two Murray’s mints.ARCHIVE: 2nd week TT 2004