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Win for tiddlywinking Tabs

On Sunday afternoon, amidst the hymns and hangovers of Mayday, Oxford hosted another less well-known but equally idiosyncratic event, the annual Varsity Tiddlywinks match.

The match, which was held at Balliol College, was won by the Cambidge University Tiddlywinks Club (CUTwC) by a disappointingly impressive 99 to Oxford’s 13.

Cambridge has only lost the Varsity Cup on four occasions since it was first contested in 1964.

John Lees, a Balliol student who represented Oxford in the match, commented “CUTwC came prepared with a selection of squidgers, despite our early attempts to Blitz out we were foiled by the Tabs excellent squopping. Two failed John Lennon memorial shots later, and it felt like every winkhad been subbed at once.”

Although the Oxford University Tiddlywinks Society is used to losing to the Tabs, this defeat was particularly hard for the team as out of a total of 16 games Oxford has only won one. The loss also seems to have caused tension within the team.

Lees commented, “It was widely agreed that [Daniel] Kessler’s tactical ineptitude and poor potting technique led to our 99-13 defeat, and he has now resigned from his post as president due to pressure from the team.”

Despite the upsetting outcome for Oxford, the entire team were awarded quarter blues.

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