Oxford Student newspaper to close

The Oxford Student newspaper is set to close by popular demand. The decision was announced in the OxStu itself last month, but it appears no one had seen the announcement until this morning.

The OxStu editorial team released a short statement, which read: “It is with regret that we terminate this publication with immediate effect. OUSU have generously supported our publishing for some years, but we feel now is the right time to put the money to better use.

“We are sorry to disappoint our mothers, who have read what we print every week. If students want to stay informed next term we would encourage them to turn to our more experienced colleagues at Cherwell.”

The OxStu is well known as a source of combustible material for log fires, and as a provider of lavatory paper. Copies have also proved useful for drying wet shoes, and for papier mâché.

Previous editors of the paper have included Viv Richards (cricketer) and Paul Chuckle (CBBC). Distribution began in 1992 and its famous exclusives included the “St Hilda’s yogurt scandal” and “OUCA: Bunch of Wankers”.

The Cherwell tried to interview people disappointed with the announcement, but no one was available. One student commented, “The OxWho?”

Those confused by the news were referred to today’s date.