The Do’s and Dont’s of Results Day

So, you’ve toiled away for two years working up to those final exams, each one went worse than the last and all you can think is how did I even manage to get this far? You’ve found out your results and realised that, after endless worrying and comparing of answers, you actually did alright, better than alright – you did pretty well! But wait, you’re thinking, I’ve made my offer… I actually have to go to University… Do NOT freak out! Help is at hand – here’s our trusty guide to making it through Results Day and navigating the start of your time at Oxford.

DON’T read the tabloids on Results Day…

It will either make you feel annoyed at the girl beaming out of the front page who got 17 A*s at A level a year early or defeated by the “decreasing difficulty of modern day exams” – rose-tinted glasses have no place on results day! The tabloids can be good for a few things though – check the Telegraph for information on available courses for clearing if you don’t get your offer!

DON’T suddenly decide to buy a College hoodie or, even worse, a matriculation hoodie prior to arrival (or even when you get here)!

DON’T WORRY about…

The confusing Oxford lingo or the weird traditions. You’ll slip into the habit of calling bills battels and tests collections before you know it (that’s when you have to be worried!)

The online system of Oxcort and Weblearn will either end up being your constant companion or like that guy who you never realised was in your year until the last day of term – the point is either way you’ll find out when you get here, don’t fret! 

Reading Lists! They are unimportant! There is an art to understanding a reading list: take “suggested reading” in its loosest form (superfluous) and “obligatory” as “please, at least buy the book”. However, we would recommend getting any work that you can’t blag out the way before you arrive in Oxford or you’re in for either a very awkward meeting with your would-be tutor or a painful and boring Fresher’s week (no one wants an essay crisis in the first week!)

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Be careful on your Fresher’s page…

You may have been added, added yourself or even created a Fresher’s page for your College and yes, we all know in our heart of hearts that we had a little stalk before we got to said College but here are a just a few pointers on how to navigate such a page:

Please, please, PLEASE do not add anyone before you’ve met them!

Do not be gullible! Posts such as “the Dean has asked us to inform you that since renovation of the new Fresher’s accommodation they have failed to replace all the mattresses from the old building. He would therefore like to ask you to bring a mattress for the first few weeks whilst this mistake is rectified”

And whatever you do, DO NOT post on your College/the University Fresher’s page. If you do please steer clear of these overly boastful and downright embarrassing posts:

a.  OMG 3A*s! Who else feels relieved?! Oxford here I come!

b.    Do we need to bring a waste-paper bin? I wouldn’t ask but my mum wants to know!

c.     Does anyone know if we need to bring a kettle (you do!)? I’m willing to bribe with cake for an answer!

 Don’t be a dick!

Others may not have reached their grades and are going through the stress of re-applying/hastily planning an impromptu gap year and do not need to be surrounded by Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/other social media posts which flaunt your success!

Lastly, and most importantly, CELEBRATE!