Cam better than Ox?

Cambridge has beaten Oxford once again in the ‘QS Top Universities’ ranking.

A study found that Cambridge is the best university in the country at which to study fourteen subjects, with Oxford best for only ten. Behind these two comes LSE with three and Reading, the Institute of Education and Edinburgh with one each.

However, globally Oxford outperformed Cambridge. The university was found to be the best university in the world for the study of English Language and Literature, Geography and Modern Languages. Cambridge came top only in History and Archaeology. This places Oxford third, behind Harvard and MIT who dominate the global rankings, coming first in eleven and nine subjects respectively. Despite this, Oxford is ranked 6th globally.

The QS Study is published annually, and takes into account a range of factors in its assessment of each university. These include indicators such as citations per faculty, the faculty/student ratio and, most controversially, academic peer review – an opinion survey amongst 33,744 academics regarding which university is currently leading in each particular field.

A University spokesperson, commenting on the findings, explained, “There are always limits to how precise league tables can be. However, the latest QS tables confirm Oxford’s leading international status across all subjects, delivering some of the best research and education in the world.”

The reaction from the student body has been mixed. One Oxford student commented, ‘These league tables tend to be based on somewhat tenuous evidential findings and change dramatically year on year. I do not believe that the results of this report are of particular relevance to students of either university, other than those looking for some pointless one-upmanship. Besides, obviously Oxford’s better.”

One student noted, “Those wankers in Cambridge might get a slightly better education than us but we both know who would win in a fight. Besides we do better globally than them and we’re not as socially inept as those tossers.”

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The reaction from Cambridge was more positive. One student commented, “I am overjoyed with the news. Our famous rivalry has finally taken a twist towards Cambridge and I could not be happier. I was rejected from Oxford but look at me now! They’re terrible and I’m pleased they’re slipping down the league tables”.

A first year lawyer at Jesus stated , “I went on a crew date with Jesus College, Cambridge and I can honestly say they were the biggest twats I’d ever met and I would be happy to never meet them again. All night they went on how Oxford weren’t in the top 3 universities in the world in an attempt to impress every girl in the entire restaurant. I guess it’s all they’ve got.”