I did nothing for Mother’s day this year, just like every year. Most likely you did nothing too. So I’ve concocted a mother’s day tribute list, although like the itinerant son I am, I’ve done it a bit late. Here are the 6 songs you can use to show your mum that now you’ve gone to university and got a bit cool, you don’t need her anymore.
“What’s that mum? Oh yeah I’d love a cup of tea. Cheers”
1. I Really Like You – Carly Rae Jepsen
Watch your mum shudder at the abrasive, candy-coated brilliance of this absolute banger. Play it repeatedly. Refer to it as an ‘absolute banger’ repeatedly. Don’t explain what ‘banger’ means. “What’s that? No mum, it’s nothing like ‘Get Lucky’. Yes, I know you liked Get Lucky. No, we can’t have Get Lucky.”
2. Hey Darling – Sleater Kinney
Don’t let the fact that this is basically just a bit of high quality AM rock stop you from intimidating your mum. Even if your mum’s a feminist, there’s no way she’s a proper feminist, like Sleater Kinney are. Talk to her about intersectionality. Talk to her Cuntry Living, and emphasise the pun. You are now more political than she ever was, and you’ve read the blogs to prove it. Let her know.
3. The Blacker the Berry – Kendrick Lamar
‘Hold on Mum – you’re not a racist, are you?’
5. All Day – Kanye West
“Kanye West is, unquestionably the greatest musician of the 21st century”. You don’t have to believe it; you just have to say it. It’s important that your mum knows she no longer has a say in popular taste. This is your world, she’s just living in it.
6. Never Forget – Take That
Let her have this one. Here’s why: you know that job you’re going to get when you graduate? Well, the thing is, you’re not going to get it. Because graduate jobs are about as real as the big cats your Uncle Stew claims live out on the moor. So you’ll either be doing a masters, weeping into your books and listening to the Take That record you actually liked all along, or more likely, you’re moving back in, and listening to it with your mum. Just like you did before you ‘got all Oxford’.