Emmanuel Macron assures parents that he is “definitely not having a party”

Tony Campbell reflects on Emmanuel Macron’s attempt to host a “gathering” in his bid for the French presidency

Having found several litres of vodka, gin, and a curious assortment of liqueurs stashed away in the basement of their house, and identifying a Facebook page established by the former economy minister and French Presidential Hopeful Emmanuel Macron with which he has invited 577 people to the family home on 11 and 18 June, Macron’s parents have confronted their son about this apparent contradiction in his promises to “not have a Party.” The former businessman has since replied that he keeps true to his renunciation of Partying in 2009 (after three solid years of liberté, égalité, and rock and roll), and that this gathering of people with alcohol—and “maybe just a few joints, yes”—was ‘definitely, definitely not a Party.’

“Will there be 577 people hanging out, with fast music to which one could conceivably dance? Yes. Will some of those people be indulging in the odd drink here or there? Yes,” Macron is reported to have responded to his parents. “But this is not a Party,” he continued, “I simply want to show that I’m capable, if necessary, of controlling a large group of people who want to do the same things I want to do.”

Emmanuel Macron’s parents have been suspicious of their son’s commitment against Parties since 2012, when he began hanging around with “that chap who’s always up to no good—you know, the one, the one no one likes”, seemingly referring to French President Francois Hollande “constantly returning home late smelling like cigarettes, cheap booze, and a stagnant economy”.

Francois Hollande is reported to be very excited about Macron’s “definitely not a Party,” and intends to ditch Manuel Valls’ party to attend it, wondering when he will receive his invitation.

Emmanuel Macron told Cherwell that there was “no way in a thousand hells” he would invite the unpopular President to his Party—that was definitely not a Party—and suggested that Hollande might in fact be more comfortable staying at home with a hot mug of cocoa, not dragging his not-Party to the murky depths of a four per cent approval rate (a figure he noted was better than only one other leader of a democratic country, who was themselves recently impeached).

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Asked about whether he was concerned that Valls’ Party may limit the attendance of his own not-Party, Macron responded “You mean Le Pen’s? Or Fillon’s?” shrugged, and left.