Love Oxland: ‘I only hope she wasn’t freaked out by my swearing at a racist heckler’

Lucy Zhu turns out to be more sage than shark while Martha Raymer questions her quiet life


Lucy Zhu

Third Year, PPE


Since I had never been on a blind date before this one, I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of awkwardness and uncomfortable silence. I found out Martha was a fresher and was really impressed by her confidence so early on in her Oxford life (even though she hasn’t been to Hassan’s yet, so essentially hasn’t matriculated). Hopefully my embarrassment at being an irrelevant third year didn’t come through too aggressively, even though I became increasingly mortified by how much more on it she seems to be than I ever was as a fresher. Despite our opposing views on ABBA, Emma Watson and Plush, I think we managed to resolve our differences amicably, and I only hope she didn’t get too freaked out by my swearing at our racist hecklers at the end.

What was your first impression?

Fresh faced first year


Quietly confident

Any awkward moments?

Screaming obscenities at a racist


Martha Raymer

First Year, History


While some may call it institutionalised sharking for the sake of representation, I’d say the vibe of my date with Lucy was more ‘friendly chat for the sake of procrastination’. It is unfortunate that we both breathed in enough motorcycle fumes to take at least a year off our queer lives, since that makes one less year of defying heteronormativity. The date itself was – I assume – far tamer than my almost-felony-committing, 98% extroverted date is used to, but it worked for a motivational chat. I’ve got to keep on top of my work, drink plenty of water, go to my lectures, and remember to have fun. This ‘mothering’ did not leave her dark side completely obscured though: little did I anticipate a love of Dodie Clark and – although profusely denied – a penchant for poofy yellow dresses.

What was your first impression?

Way too hot for me


Mainly her to be fair

Any awkward moments?

The selfie, definitely the selfie



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