Sunday saw the annual Corpus Christi College Tortoise Fair take place, in which reptiles from nine different colleges were pitted against each other in a race in the college grounds.
Competitors ranged from the formidable Emmanuelle at almost a hundred years old, who was representing Regent’s Park College, to the tiny, four-year-old Percy, racing on behalf of University College.
To ensure a level playing field, the competitor from Magdalen, who looked suspiciously like a student in a tortoise costume, was forced to devour a whole iceberg lettuce before he was allowed to cross the start line.
In the end, Tilly from Jesus College, a newcomer to this event, took home first prize, with Mackie (Regent’s Park) and the imaginatively named Turtle (Christchurch) taking joint second place.
It was a disappointing result for the host college, Corpus Christi, whose two contestants, Foxe and Oldham, not only failed to bag any of the top prizes but actually indulged in some spirited, mid-race wrestling along with Frederick from Lincoln College.
Professor Richard Cawardine, President of Corpus Christi College and provider of the race commentary, told Cherwell that “the tortoises have become too complacent”, after Foxe’s victory in last year’s race. He also threatened to summon the reptiles to “penal collections” to discuss their shaky performance in the event.
Alex Coupe, the official Corpus Tortoise Keeper who has devoted the last few weeks to training the creatures for the race, took a more optimistic view, saying that while he was “obviously disappointed” with the result, “Foxe and Oldham were the most energetic tortoises out there”.
It is estimated that the fair raised over £2000 for Leukaemia and Lymphoma Research. Corpus JCR President Jack Evans called the day “a tremendous success”, saying, “the fact we’ve raised so much is a tribute to all the effort that’s gone into the event – it’s just a shame it was Jesus who took home the prize!”