More accurate than last week’s summary. Anyway. We have a situation.

This week’s singles are by the likes of Scouting For Girls, Tony Christie, Leona Lewis and Fightstar. They don’t even deserve hyperlinks. Far worthier is this story about Bon Jovi, a security guard and a golf buggy.

Meanwhile, Britney Spears’ comeback single Womanizer sounds like a lite-pop lovechild of Stephen Hawking and MIA, but is nowhere near as good as that description seems. Arch-rival Christina Aguilera‘s Keeps Getting Better is boring and trenchant from the first few seconds. ‘Super bitch’? Nothing so exciting. This is all so tired and plodding. Nothing’s worth a second star so far.

I should really set out my intended disquisition on what makes the perfect pop song, as an antidote for this dross, but the knowledge that this stuff will make people rich has depressed me too much for this week. Instead, I’ll content myself with chucking in some tracks actually worth hearing, here, here and here.

Top Of The Ox: Local Band Of The Week

Music should either be good or interesting; a failing of this week’s singles. The Keyboard Choir, however, combine both qualities. Rare indeed. This local collective finally have an album out on Brainlove Records. It’s mindfuckingly good ambient/electro/avant-garde stuff that ranges from heavy club beats to sublime chillout. I recommend Skylab as the easiest route into their world…