Going Up:

Lent apologies

It’s the beginning of Lent so forty days without chocolate/alcohol/kebabs still seems fairly manageable and we’re optimistic. Let’s hope it continues!

Apologies

78 days after Tiger Woods’ affairs came to seedy light, he has finally managed to eke out an epic 13-minute apology. Are John Terry and Ashley Cole to follow?

Good Views

The ‘Endeavour’ shuttle left the International Space Station with a new ‘Tranquillity’ mode which features seven huge windows through which to watch space. The station commander Jeffrey Williams was delighted, “We are really going to enjoy the view.”

British Sport Morale

27-year old Amy Williams was the first Briton to win a solo Gold medal in thirty years, in the women’s skeleton competition as part of the Winter Olympics. Anything that gives us a little faith for 2012…

Going Down:

Banksy

One of Britain’s biggest Banksy works, a mural of a rat holding a machine gun, is to be painted over by a developer who admits to not liking ‘modern art’.

Security

A website called ‘pleaserobme.com’ claims to be able to reveal the location of empty houses based on what people post online. That’s why we’re always on facebook – we just don’t want to be robbed.

Fair Play

Shakter Donetsk footballers were banned from Harrods by Muhammed Al Fayed in the build up to their match with the Egyptian businessman’s club, Fulham, who went on to win the match 2-1. Victory for the ‘win-at-all-costs mentality’ once again…

Swimming Goggles

Due to health and safety laws, officials have been claiming that children should be prevented from swimming in goggles because the rubber straps can be dangerous if a child has them “snapped back in their face”. Stop giving us ideas…