Can we be completely honest here? Aside from a surprising amount of singing, Ridley Scott’s latest, Robin Hood, didn’t astonish me in any way. Sure, I saw the preview, the medley of wild savages in the deep dark woods, the twangs of bowstrings as they release their arrows, the primal yowls of battle cries and blood being spilt. But was it wrong of me to expect more? I think not. See that preview and you’ve seen it all, and so I spent most of the movie trying desperately to figure out which one was the lion, or the snake (oh, Hiss) from the 1973 Disney version.
I watched this film with high hopes-instead of relying on the age-old story of Robin Hood that has been played by everyone from Errol Flyn to, most regrettably, Kevin Costner, this Robin Hood is an origins story. Robin Longstride (Russell Crowe) is but a common archer, returning home after one of Richard the Lionheart’s crusades. However, when Richard is killed in action, an opportunity presents itself for Robin to assume the identity of a knight, and he does so, returning to Nottinghamshire to his fake father, the Earl William Marshall (William Hurt) and his pretend wife, the lovely Maid Marion (Cate Blanchett). Things are just starting to get cozy and domestic when Robin realizes that there is some do-gooding to be done-the evil Sir Godfrey (Mark Strong) is plotting to betray the English crown to the dastardly French. It is only King John’s (Oscar Isaac) promise of liberty and justice for all through the Magna Carta that Robin can bind together the disgruntled masses against the French once and for all.
If this plot sounds a little bit crazy, that’s because it is. Robin Hood is a fictional character, and while the effort to add some historical verity to the legend might be applause-worthy, it is decidedly less so when the plot is so confusing. The social activism twist seems just a bit too convenient and forced-did Robin try picketing before pick-pocketing? Even the acting is predictable-though Crowe’s charming assortment of accents is admittedly insane, and at times, a bit distracting, he does well playing his typical gruff character. And Cate Blanchett is also inevitably fine playing a feisty, intelligent version of Maid Marion that is no shrinking violet or damsel in distress. Mark Strong is excellent as the scarred villain, while Oscar Isaac plays King John with a whiny arrogance that left me wondering which rival was the lesser of two evils.
The one stand-out scene is the final battle against the French, as nothing riles the British blood more than a bunch of sissies trying to conquer our sacred land with their wheels of brie. This part involved 1500 people in the making, and it shows-it’s a clash of the titans as swords are swung and showers of arrows rain down into the sand.
Maybe this is just a story that has been told one time too many, but don’t blame me for feeling hoodwinked and wanting something more from one of history’s favorite heroes.
