Paris Penman-Davies
History, Pembroke

Ardent revolutionary looking for nation on brink of civil war, must have nice legs.

The fact that the Cherwell photographer who had been sent to meet us asked us to ‘talk naturally’ despite us having only just met significantly upped the awkward factor, but having received the most basic instruction on punting from a man in a camouflage jacket using a pen and a phone, and with both of us wearing heels, what possibly could go wrong? Conversation was easy, apart from a few gentle crashes, a moment where Emma’s face decided to manually abort any attempt to look cool when faced with a rather persistent fly, and a moment of my own in which I carefully allowed a tree branch to whack me in the face, just so Emma wouldn’t feel left out. Despite her efforts to drop the pole we did eventually make it back, not before she had questioned my assertion that the only reason people go on Cherwell blind dates is because they think they are going to have sex. All in all a memorable day, especially once we had established that we were both better suited to the 18th century.

Chat: Sublime wit and charm
Looks: Julia Moses
Personality: Aggressively sexual
2nd date? Waiting on clinic results


Emma Roker
Law, Christ Church

Easily impressed pushover with low standards and bad taste.

Turning up on location at the Cherwell Boathouse ten minutes early, I scanned for signs of a blind-date only to be greeted by a somewhat despondent looking male enjoying afternoon tea for one. So when the lovely photographer turned up and it became apparent that Mr. Miserable was my date, I’d surely be forgiven for regarding the prospect of a two-hour punt with some dread. It was a pleasant surprise, and, quite frankly, a relief, therefore, after somehow managing to set off on our punt, to find that not only was Paris rather proficient with a pole but also a reasonably upbeat, engaging character. Mishaps were inevitable of course; I got bitten by a duck, had an insect collide with my eye and failed in my attempt to punt back – thank goodness he managed to fling a branch into his own face and restore the humiliation status quo. On balance, conversation was interesting (if odd at times), he did all the work and nobody fell overboard; so contrary to initial expectations I felt that the afternoon had proved to be a success.

Chat: Entertaining
Looks: Sunshine would do him good
Personality: Perfectly likeable
2nd date? Could be worse things