Brasenose’s latest JCR meeting has banned public displays of affection in the library. It has also apparently allocated £500 of JCR funds to a semi-fictional steak society. </p>
One motion noted that “That the Library is a place for sobriety, self restraint and sexual deprivation” and “that the Library is not a human petting zoo in which members of the JCR partake in the rampant swapping of bodily fluid.”</p>
The motion further stated that, “some members of the JCR need to learn how to behave in a public place, especially in our College Library” and mandated the Academic and Library Rep to speak to the Librarian about the “salacious behaviour” in the library and to erect a “desexualized zone where JCR members could work with a sign that says something to the effect of ‘No Kissing / No Public Displays of Affection.” The motion was passed after some debate over whether such a sign would be allowed.</p>
Another motion was passed awarding the steak society a termly allowance of £500 to spend on “ingredients and any repairs or upgrades to the George Foreman.” The money was also for building a “steak house for the sole use of the dining society, where everything looks and smells like steak or traditional steak-accompanying food and drink”.</p>
Resentment was expressed towards the Boat Club, which reportedly receives £1,000 every term and “have Brasenose-crested kits, use the chapel, have their own boat house, and have two hall closures per year.</p>
“The dining society brings at least as much aggregate joy into college life as the boat club. The boat club is a bit like the Jamaican bobsled team, only not very funny [and] totally lacking in rhythm and rhyme.”</p>
Ben Stafford and Ben Zelenka Martin said, “Several myths have been suggested regarding the foundation of this society that may, or may not, exist. All have been found to be missteaken in one way or another. The members have never been counted. Meatings steak place on Mondays.</p>
“[The Steak Society] brings wonder and joy to the lives of poor and oppressed students by ‘meating’ all of their protein-based needs.”</p>
The duo emphasised the prestige of the steak society membership. “Numerically, the dining society is the most exclusive in Oxford – indeed, probably in the world. We can neither confirm nor deny rumours of plans to introduce a rigorous selection process involving nudity, raw meat, and cattle prods.”</p>
JCR President Dan Wainwright assured Cherwell that the motion was a joke and that “the reward for passing a joke motion is a crate of beer, but obviously the motion carries no weight.”</p>
The Steak Society stated, “our motion was not intended as a joke. We do not understand the basis of the assumption that it was.”
