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Sex Survey rates Oxford

A recent survey published by studentbeans.com has found that Oxford University is officially more promiscuous than Cambridge.

The survey, which was carried out online between 20th April and 3rd May this year, asked 2,818 students at UK universities to fill in an online questionnaire which asked about their sex lives, sexual health and relationships.

The result that ranked Oxford 32nd and Cambridge 56th was a tally of how many sexual partners each student had ever taken to bed, with Oxford averaging 5.6 in comparison to Cambridge’s 3.7.

It would appear that the frisky Welsh air has an influence on how indulgent students are in their sexual habits, with the University of Glamorgan topping the tables at an astronomical average of 10.9 sexual partners per student.

The student beans website read, “The over-representation of universities in the West of Britain at the top of the league is extremely interesting – we can see applications to Welsh universities shooting up next autumn because of this.”

City University London took the lowest bunk, ranking 61st with an average of 3.1 sexual partners per student.

These results come after a 2008 study that revealed Britain to be the most promiscuous nation in the industrialised west.

One student from St. Hugh’s College commented, “The figures are surprisingly high considering the geeky stereotype, but I’ve found that people at Oxford tend to be more discreet about their personal ‘score’ than at other Universities”.

They added, “Personally, though, I find these figures very dubious – the sort of person who answers these surveys has got to be someone who spends more time on the internet than having sex.”

However, the saucy habits of Oxford students also extend into the realm of technology, with one student being asked to “stop some of their internet activity”.

Another student from LMH was disciplined for downloading “unreasonable quantities of porn” on the university network.

A Cambridge student who believes in a sexy image of his university responded to the survey, remarking “I think it’s all about quality rather than quantity – someone at Cambridge would definitely give a better shag.”

They added, “A Cambridge male is more of a diamond in the rough, like a Christmas present that will still be useful in 5 years time, rather than a brief amusement that’s cast aside on Boxing Day”.

However, he did admit to being acquainted with a higher number of virgins than he would expect to be normal, commenting of one contemporary who recently found his first girlfriend, “It’ll probably be years before he breaks the barrier. She get’s uncomfortable if he so much as looks at her breasts.”

Many students believe that an increasingly popular binge-drinking culture has a lot to do with the rise of promiscuity within the UK, with people finding it a lot more acceptable to ‘hook up’ with someone on a night out when drunk.

Some were surprised that Oxford didn’t rank higher in the tables, given the number of taboo locations within the University that often incentivise students to break the rules for the thrill of a challenge.

There have been a number of recent reports of illicit sex from different colleges, with people running the risk of tarnishing their disciplinary records to fornicate in locations as diverse as New College Mound, Trinity College porters lodge, and the tower in Teddy Hall.

Sometimes the upkeep of a rapacious sex life can be academically distracting, as students spurn their studies for more licentious past-times.

One Oxford student admitted, “I did once tell a boy that if he didn’t go to lectures then I would have sex with him.” Another lamented, “writing essays on a girl’s back has had a detrimental effect on my studies.”

Unfortunately, the implications of the survey may also be negative for students from a health perspective, as an increase in unprotected sex increases the risk of the communication of sexually transmitted infections.

The NHS website reads, “There are many ways to have an active and fulfilling sex life, but a number of these activities put you at risk of getting an STI.”

In July 2009, the Health Protection Agency released figures on STIs in the UK for 2008. They showed that 12% of the population is 16 to 24 years old, yet this age group accounts for more than half of all newly diagnosed STIs in the UK.

The student beans survey also revealed that 54% of female students have taken the morning after pill.

One member of the Oxford University Christian Union said, “I think it’s a real shame that the value of chastity is not as high as it once was and in a traditional university like this it’s disappointing to hear that Oxford is moving away from old established values.

“Some people these days are less concerned about their value as a human being, and even the worth of their sex, than the value of their reputation.”

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