Freshers’ week Freudian sleep

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A fresher from Exeter College was locked inside the Freud Café last Wednesday night after a drunken trip to the restrooms led to a five hour long sleep on a toilet seat. The disorientated student awoke at 4:30am to find himself locked inside the bar, unbeknownst to his colleagues and the bar’s staff.

The event took place at the Exeter Freshers’ Ball. The fresher, who wished to remain anonymous, told Cherwell, “We bought drinks from the shop and it kicked in pretty quickly. I was very drunk and feeling quite ill, and thought I needed to be sick.”

However, a trip to the bathroom saw him pass out in one of the cubicles, where he remained until the early hours of the morning. Describing his awakening, he said, “I was very drunk at this stage. Everything was dark, and I set off the alarm when I entered the main room.”

The situation merely worsened when he triggered the fire alarm while searching for the light switch in the darkness. He was also unable to find a way out, since, as he noted in a commendation of the security system at Freud’s that “everything was locked up very well.”

A call about the fire alarm alerted the police to the events. A report from Thames Valley Police issued to Cherwell said, “Police attended and could not see any signs of a break in and so contacted the key holder who attended.” They entered the building only to discover the unfortunate fresher and mistake him for a burglar.

According to the student, the misunderstanding saw the police order him to “get down on the ground”, but he “couldn’t hear because of the alarms.” Instead, he began to advance towards the officers, oblivious to their commands.

In the confusion the intoxicated student may have come close to being tasered by a pair of officers who did not know his intentions; after a third officer indicated this to him he finally obeyed the order.

The fresher said, “He handcuffed me and put me in the back of the police car. He asked, ‘Why didn’t you get down when we said to?’, and I explained.” He added, “I guess that was quite fortunate that I did eventually hear them.”

A statement from the police claimed that when officers reached him, the fresher was “initially arrested while the property was searched for any damage or theft, he was then de-arrested”.

The episode ended amiably with the first year being returned to his college by the police. He said that he returned to his bed safe and sound and no subsequent action occured regarding the incident.

Students who have spoken to Cherwell about the event have had mixed reactions. Tom Stafford, a fresher from St Anne’s College, commented, “It makes me feel bad by comparison. We obviously need to be hitting it harder.”

However, St Anne’s Entz rep Matthew Morrow, said, “I’m a-freud this guy only has himself to blame. All I can say is it must have been one hell of a poo.”

One American visiting student and self-proclaimed amateur bartender said to Cherwell upon hearing the story, “There are no words to express my displeasure at the concept of the guy’s inability to get down.”

He added, “You’d think an establishment which mixes natural frequenting of the bathroom with alcoholic drinks would ensure the toilets were checked.”

Thankfully, while the fresher reported that he thought during the crisis, “this is the worst thing that could possibly happen”, he claimed to have recovered from the shock come the following morning and now views the incident as an amusing twist in his week.

He added, “Looking back on it, I thought the story was a good one. I told my friends the next day. I’ve had a lot of people asking me if it’s true.”

Nor was the agreeability of his freshers’ week as a whole compromised by what has been described as his ‘Freud’s Fiasco’. “The night was funny even before I passed out in the loo,” he confirmed.

The owner of Freud’s was unavailable for comment.

 

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