Kebab van owner Ali becomes JCR honorary member

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In a motion passed last week, Ali, owner of the kebab van opposite St Anne’s, has been made the second honorary member of their JCR. Following in Cher’s footsteps, Ali has now been welcomed into the bosom of the St Anne’s community.

The motion, proposed by student Jonny Adams, argued that Ali’s is an essential part of St Anne’s late-night culture and that the JCR should support Ali in his honourable mission to provide St Anne’s students with high quality grub.

Mr Adams went on to say that Ali is a “beacon of all of St Anne’s values: equality, inclusivity, and greasy kebab meat. Ali would never judge you, no matter how incapacitated you are, and that’s why we all feel he’s a part of our JCR. Last week we appointed Cher as our first honorary member, and I think that everyone wanted an honorary member a little closer to our homes, and our hearts.”

Ali was overjoyed by the news, although slightly distracted due to a night-time rush of inebriated students. Once convinced that it did not mean he would have to become a student and study at St Anne’s, he did express his delight in his honorary membership status: “I am very happy and feel included. It is good that they like my food. We have a lot of students coming here.”

Serving out quality nosh for over twenty five years, Ali’s certainly is a Woodstock Road institution. As St Anne’s ex-JCR President Oscar Boyd declared, “Ali is like the best parent a student could ever ask for, providing delicious food at any hour of night and offering words of advice that few would ever ignore. Apparently he’s one miracle from being canonised but we felt he needed to be honoured for all the great work he’s done already. “

The general St Anne’s consensus does seem to be overwhelmingly pro-Ali, with one second year stating,“I bloody love Ali’s. It’s the absolute highlight of my night”.

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