Pembroke college has seen a recent trend for unusual motions at their regular JCR meetings.

One motion was passed on Sunday mandating Pembroke’s Sports Rep, “to obtain a formal, hand-written letter of apology from Christ Church College following the shambles that was their 7-1 cuppers defeat to the might of PCFC 1st XI last Friday November 15th”. It is believed that the letter is currently in the process of being written.

It was claimed that apologies are an important part of the culture of the FIFA video game and should be extended to college football. “It is long past time that these rules were applied to the beautiful game when we are forced to waste 90 minutes of our precious time”, claimed Southworth in response to Pembroke’s win over Christ Church.

It was added that the Sports Rep should seek apologies from opposing teams after any victories of 5 goals or more in the future. In the interest of fairness the first XI insisted that Pembroke teams should also be prepared to write their own apologies.

While the team claimed that this was unlikely to be necessary, a member of a rival team stated, “it’s odd that they would be so bold – especially when they lost their following match at home to St John’s straight away afterwards”.
JCR member Noush Nightingale proposed another motion seeking to establish a Pembroke College Tanning Team. It was noted that in winter, “fewer hours of sun means less time to get your tan on, and therefore generally a pastier JCR population.”

The motion requested funds for the sun cream, fake tan and deck chairs but it was agreed that discussion of it would be postponed to the following JCR meeting.

However, one Pembroke music student was sceptical about the practicalities. “Who would they compete against?” he asked.