Who do you dress for? A conversation with a few of my friends the other day led me to ask this question to myself. Some of the group were of the opinion that anyone who takes care in the way they dress is dressing for attention. This is not to say that, for example, we dress to attract a potential mate. We may be dressing for the attention and approval of other fashion-conscious individuals. I was adamant through the whole conversation that I didn’t dress for the attention of anyone else. The thought of picking my outfit motivates me to get up in the morning. I shop to unwind and relax. I get genuine joy out of finding a really special piece. So, I must dress for myself.
But then I took a moment to analyse the reasons why I enjoyed getting ready. Did everything not lead back to how I wanted to be perceived by others? I dress based on the day I’m about to have, and so inevitably, for the people I’m about to interact with. I dress so that my day has a certain tone, presumably this does include the response I get from others. Maybe I’m over-analysing. It is possible to just enjoy the aesthetic of a certain look, and to have fun picking out clothes and accessories to match that. But walking through town, I see different students with so many distinct styles. At Oxford, most of us have one thing in common. We all have pretty strong ideas about who we are, what we’re about and what we want. The way we dress is one way of showing that.
There is no such thing as a “lack of a dress sense”. Even the person who insists they have absolutely no interest in clothes, and will wear whatever, is expressing themselves through their clothing choice. We all use what we wear to portray ourselves in a certain way. The problem arises when others make decisions about how we may portray ourselves; when they think it means that we expect to be treated a certain way.
“SlutWalks”, where women protest the idea that by wearing revealing clothing, women are somehow ‘asking’ for unwanted attention, are happening around the world to raise awareness of this issue. The “still not asking for it” photo that’s been circulating around social media attempts to challenge the sense of entitlement that can arise simply by the way someone is dressed. It’s a huge waste of our time to criticise those who dress for others and it’s completely futile to deny that we don’t. We all do it on one level or another. Instead, we are far better off investing our energy in highlighting how wrong it is to make assumptions about others, and put them in a certain box based on how they are dressed.
