Halfway through this year’s five-a-side season, it’s easy to remember why it is so loved. It’s college football stripped to the core; any pretence which may have been established in the regular season, any tentative attempts to adopt a ‘strategy’ or ‘game plan’ is utterly blown away by the chaotic mediocrity of teams composed of players normally languishing on the bench of their college thirds.
Group 11 has already emerged as a powerhouse of talent, with Lincoln firsts and Worcester seconds tied for fi rst position and offering the possibility of a tantalising decider. The honour of the most impressive loss undoubtedly goes to captain Michael Bentham’s 11-0 defeat as head of Hertford seconds, which comes in at an impressive goal conceded every 54 seconds.
Hertford overall has had a “very mixed bag” according to captain of the first team, Alexander McAleavy, with a roughly equal mix of wins and losses across all of their teams and mid-table locations in their respective divisions. Hertford right back Toby Chelton has returned from a frustrating Hilary plagued with injury to become the college top scorer, making up somewhat for what is conceivably a porous Hertford back line.
The condensed nature of five-a-side makes for lots of these small success stories. Captain Mark Hattersley of the Merton seconds particularly praised James Zhou, who was expertly scouted as he walked to the gym after the team found themselves in need of an extra player last minute. Despite never playing before, and with the Guardiola-esque tactical advice of ‘go up front and everyone else defend,’ Zhou managed to score a late screamer to steal victory from a dogged St Antony’s side. Group 6 has emerged as one of the most balanced divisions, Merton seconds, St Antony, Oriel seconds and Pembroke thirds all thoroughly in contention, with the only true weak link invariably Wadham seconds, who according to captain Ben Zaranko are keeping up with the proud tradition of “losing every match where the other team have bothered to turn up”.
In contrast, Wadham 1Bs and St Catz seconds are separated by a single point at the top of Group 4, chased by a Univ thirds team steadily gaining momentum. Both teams have managed to achieve the rare five-a-side feat of defensive solidity and attacking intent, similar to this season’s most impressive team, St Catz firsts. Sitting at the summit of Group 3 with a goal difference of +20, it is difficult to see second place Wadham 1As finding a way past Peter Woods’ side.
St Hugh’s captain Christopher Putman, despite beating Univ seconds 4-1 and drawing 1-1 with New seconds and Wadham 1A, came up thoroughly short against Woods’ experienced squad, losing a potentially pivotal game 3-0. Blaming the ‘long trek from St Hugh’s down Iffley, which played havoc with our fitness levels’, St Hugh’s has made a positive if inconsistent start to the season, with all three teams well placed but not exactly blowing the opposition away.
While it might be a stretch to say that this year’s season has been of a high standard, with 85 teams playing across 12 groups, it is fair to say that the unique allure of summer football has not been lost. With very few clear leaders, the only thing we can definitely look forward to in the last half of the season is even more of the defensive howlers, last minute winners and hastily cobbled together teams playing games with double-digit scorelines.
