I’m nervous. I hear the shoes I have to fill earned a bit of a cult following. I’m scared of microwaves and I’ve never eaten a ready-meal.

Luckily, Co-op’s reduced shelf delivers the goods, and I’m squinting into the instructions on the back of a £2 ‘King Prawn Bucatini’ (translate as ‘big spaghetti’). There are hurdles: are all plates microwavable? How many times should I pierce the film lid? A herby aroma fills the kitchen. After a good few burned fingers and a bit of a spillage, I’m happily plated up, a tad disappointed at the number of prawns (the packet promised 12 per cent prawn) but generally optimistic about the slow roasted tomatoes.

The sauce was wonderfully citrusy and gloriously parsley-ish, but marks should be docked for scarce and rubbery prawns. The appearance, as above, can also be described as somewhat messy; maybe I haven’t got my James Coppin tekkers on fleek yet. All in all however, couldn’t have asked for gentler dish for losing my ready meal virginity. Roll on Second Week