If you’re in desperate need of a post-bop skin detox and have some leftover beer lying around that you’ve promised the almighty god of hangovers never to drink again, this week you’re in luck! Treat yourself with that stale half can of Heineken and still stay sober enough to meet your essay deadline by making it into a facemask. With radiant skin, you might even be able to, ahem, face your tutor after he’s marked it (hahahaha).

1 egg white
1/2 can of beer
2 tsps fresh lime juice

Separate the egg white from the yolk and throw the nasty fatty yellow thing away. Stir the former thoroughly into your beer (it doesn’t matter if it’s stale or warm) before squeezing fresh lime juice from an actual lime into the mix. Do not use the neon green stuff you can pick up at Tesco instead. Apply to the face and remove after 10 minutes using warm water. The lime and beer contain a variety of vitamins and the egg white aids elasticity.