Rowers across Oxford are pledging to eat at least one more portion of meat a week, in a bid to bulk up ahead of the rowing season. The #MeatPledge event, which aims to promote “fried chicken for everyone,” has gotten off to a strong start with women and men’s boat clubs across Oxford pledging their support. It is estimated that hundreds and thousands of portions of vegetables will be saved and a huge amount of carbon dioxide will be liberated into the atmosphere as a result of the pledgers.
Prospective pledgers are required to post their name, college, and tailor-made pledge on the wall of the campaign’s Facebook group. The prize for the college that signs up the most people to the pledge is understood to be £100 worth of Kentucky Fried Chicken’s finest. Oxford’s popular crewdating locations have also announced that they will be putting extra horse meat in their food in an effort to back the bid. One restaurant owner exclusively told The OxStew, “I support Oxford rowers!”
Curtis King, the founder of the campaign, told The OxStew, “I gotta tell you something – bacon is good for me! We want students all across Oxford to come together, have a cheeky gym sesh, and go grab a bucket of frie[n]d chicken together afterwards.”
Some keenly observant Oxford students have suggested that #MeatPledge is not actually about fitness at all, but is in fact an effort to undermine OUSU’s #VeggiePledge. OUSU, speaking in a personal capacity, commented, “We are so disappointed that not all Oxford students are willing to subsist on a diet of rice and beans for the rest of their life. Bacon is not good for you. If rowers are not careful we shall have to implement restrictions on the number of ergs that they can do in order to reduce the carbon footprint of students.”
When we put this Curtis King, he responded, “If you tell people to do that and do this and do that. You know what they’re gonna do? They’re gonna be miserable. When you do eat chicken your body really does like it. OUSU acts like it’s the Queen and we’re the sorry people.”
Varun Bassi, a sceptical Physics student at Hertford College, commented, “Isn’t #VeggiePledge eff ectively just Balliol and Wadham giving themselves prizes? I mean like, c’mon, obviously the colleges with most vegetarians who go vegan is going to win every time. This is yet another example of lefty students treating themselves to awards. Classic OUSU.”
Bill Geffalo, a student who bloody loves Dorney Lake, added, “The overbearing and obnoxious nature of Balliol and Wadham students left me unable to consume vegetables for days. It was only chicken nuggets that kept me going. Chicken nuggets are like my family.”
Meanwhile, one regular Park Ender told The OxStew a joke. “How do you know if someone is vegan? They’ll tell you,” she commented.
Students have until Friday 13th November to make that their pledge, which they can do in the #MeatPledge Facebook group.