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The end of Roppongi

Daniel Kodsi
Daniel Kodsi
Hi, I am Chairman of OSPL, Cherwell's publishing house. I was editor during Michaelmas 2016. I read Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE) at Balliol College and can be reached at [email protected]

“Thats right!!!

“Roppongi will close it’s [sic] doors for the last time on Friday 25th March!”

In a stroke of devastating news, one of Oxford’s finest club establishments, Roppongi, is hosting a “Farwell Party” from 5pm to 5am next Friday.

After almost six years in operation, the “chic, luxurious lounge and club,” as they describe themselves, will be replaced by JT’s Cocktail Bar & Club.

It is a bewildering end for a nightclub that, again as per their own description, is “a unique playground for Oxford’s elite, designed for affable debauchery and indulgent fun, without pretentiousness but exuding an abundance of class and style.”

Roppongi “is the ultimate destination for Oxford’s exclusive highly effervescent and au fait crowd,” they add.

But perhaps Roppongi is best known for its magnanimous spirit, although its largess was not always accepted. In fact, some – incomprehensibly – think Roppongi’s generosity to be a mark of poor quality.

As Balliol first year Toby Squire told Cherwell, “No, I’ve never been. Thank the lord. I hear it’s grim. I mean they offer free shots. Which no reputable establishment would need to do to drum up trade.”

But the siren’s call of free drinks did succeed in attracting Michael Withers, a second year Mertonian. Withers told Cherwell, “My friends and I were once tempted into Roppongi by the free shot offered to us as we charged down George Street on our way to Bridge.

“We ended up dancing with two middle aged women, but then I guess that was natural since they were the only other people there. If you’re concerned that you’ve missed out on this terrible excuse for a club during your time at Oxford, don’t be.”

Yet it is undeniable that the club is exclusive, with one of Cherwell’s own editors, second year lawyer Tristan Upton, being turned away only feet into the club.

“I went once and got kicked out after 8 seconds,” he said, “because I accidentally brought an empty bottle in with me. Go ahead and quote me.”

Yet one love story emerged from the depths of Cherwell’s investigation, maybe even validating all 71 months of Roppongi’s existence: the story of Wadham classicist Roseanne Finn.

“I met the love of my life in Roppongi (or at least my current long term partner)!!!” Finn told Cherwell.

He is “a hulk of five foot six, dripping with charm and wit,” she said, and “was a shock to both my senses and my intoxicated state. I am so thankful to Roppongi for letting me find love (and such an athletic physique!).”

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