Work on your disguise – If you’re going to convince everyone that you’re in the know, you ought to look the part. Wear multiple trends at once. Sunglasses, are a must, if only to hide the fear in your unworthy eyes as you discuss the collections with the industry’s top journalists and bloggers. But remember your impostor status and wear flats instead of heels – you don’t have a team of interns running around for you, nor do you have a limo waiting outside.
Don’t blink at the prices – “We’re targeting our bags at the working class,” the smartly-dressed sales representative replied, when I asked her about her handbag brand at the LFW Designer Showrooms. It defied belief. Could high fashion really be considering real people’s budgets and tastes? Unwilling to ruin the fantasy, but aware of my investigative duties, I asked about the price range. A pause. “The bags start from around £200, with prices reaching around £500,” she said, completely oblivious to the irony of the affair.
This, dear reader, is how prices work in fashion. They start at the “working class” prices of £200 and work themselves to truly stratospheric heights. Do as the Romans do, by feigning indifference at the pricing, and then buying the Topshop alternative instead.
Know your stuff (or just pretend you do) – Though we complain about the intensity of the Oxford tutorial system, it does help in real life. My training in talking confidently on subjects I know nothing about proved invaluable when I was interviewed by a Korean television company.
“Are you a fashion editor?” the presenter asked, eyes full of misplaced admiration. I am, rather hilariously, a fashion editor, which meant I couldn’t deny the interview. “What are your opinions in Korean fashion in the Western market?” she asked. And with a flair that would make any tutor proud, I developed opinions on the Korean fashion industry’s exposure in the West on the spot. I discussed the emergence of Chinese designers in the West (think Guo Pei and Huishan Zhang) and the established Japanese designers, then expressed my excitement at the new Korean designers. Bluffing is something you’ve been learned to do about Candide and Keynes – learn to bluff about Chanel before turning up.
Network, network, network – Another aspect made easier by an Oxford education is the networking. One way to start a conversation with future contacts is to compliment them on their outfit – oh, and don’t forget your business card. You may look and talk the part, and you may shrug your shoulders at those £800 pajama bottoms, but if you turn up without a business card, you’ll be unveiled as the impostor you really are.
An OFW imposter
