Where indeed is the cue ball going, John Virgo?

Is it really heading directly for the pocket, or have you merely chosen to remind your listeners of your single amusing moment in the hope of cheap laugh?

What once, and I mean once, was genuine and amusing has now become hackneyed and stale, trotted out for any loose white or misjudged safety.

Even worse, his time in the commentary booth is now spent waiting for just such an occurrence. No matter how fine the pot, how tight the safety, the audience knows that John Virgo is secretly disappointed that the white did not rattle the jaws.

Indeed, John Virgo no longer contains his catchphrase to the white ball.

Cries of “where’s the yellow ball going” and “where’s the black going” now echo through the halls of the Crucible. They haunt even the greatest players with their sheer mediocrity.

Yet Virgo seems somehow not to realise what any comedian will tell you—he is overdoing it and it is no longer funny.

You can hear the arena ripple with exasperation while Willie Thorne purses his lips as the words slip from Virgo’s.

Please, John, it is well and truly the right time to give up the ghost, because quite frankly it’s killing us.


For Cherwell, maintaining editorial independence is vital. We are run entirely by and for students. To ensure independence, we receive no funding from the University and are reliant on obtaining other income, such as advertisements. Due to the current global situation, such sources are being limited significantly and we anticipate a tough time ahead – for us and fellow student journalists across the country.

So, if you can, please consider donating. We really appreciate any support you’re able to provide; it’ll all go towards helping with our running costs. Even if you can't support us monetarily, please consider sharing articles with friends, families, colleagues - it all helps!

Thank you!