Oxford students have loyalty to two things: their college and their kebab van. There are quite a few scattered around the city, appearing from around 7pm until 3 or 4am. Before you pick which one you will exclusively eat from for the next three years, here’s a guide to who serves what, where.
Most people will go to one of five vans for a drunk midnight snack: Hassan’s, on the corner of Turl and Broad Street; Hussain’s, on St. Giles next to the Ashmolean; Solomon’s, next to it; Ali’s, on Woodstock Road; and Posh Nosh, next to Westgate. I’ve tried all five; yes, they taste different. McDonald’s is also a popular choice, closing at 3. Whilst each van has a similar menu, serving grilled doner or chicken in a wrap or pita, alongside variations of chips, burgers, chicken nuggets, mozzarella sticks, and falafel wraps, don’t be fooled into thinking they’re interchangeable. Each van offers a unique culinary experience – you’ll never get the same kebab. Below is Cherwell’s completely unobjective guide to the vans that feed our late night cravings.
Hassan’s:
Location: Hassan’s is the most convenient to get to (unless you’re at St. Hugh’s), within a 5 minutes’ walk of most central Oxford colleges.
Food Verdict: My college parents took me there the day it first opened during 2022 freshers week. They said it would change my life. It did. I have remained a loyal customer ever since. They’ve even met my dad.
Queue: Normally there are five or six people in the line at once, but it can wrap around the corner at 1 AM on the night of a ball.
Merch: Sweatshirts are £15.
Hussein’s:
Location: North of Tesco on the Ashmolean Museum corner; it’s closer to Worcester and John’s.
Menu: It has a larger selection, including things like onion rings. For chicken-lovers, Hussein’s has got you covered; popcorn, tenders, grilled, Hussein’s leaves little room for imagination on the chicken front. My friends have said they would die for the mozzarella sticks because the breading “just hits different”, and the barbecue sauce is nice.
Good to know: The line is not horrendous until there’s a bigger event on, when you could wait up to 30 minutes to get your fix. The staff, like Nadiya, are lovely, sometimes drawing hearts on the lids of our chip boxes.
Ali’s:
Location: North, near Somerville, St. Anne’s and St. Anthony’s, but have honestly only gotten it when near Anne’s (maybe twice in the last two years.)
Food Verdict: When I did go, it was around 2:15 and the midnight rush had long passed so there was no queue. I love their burgers, they remind me of home a bit. With ketchup and chips, they go a long way.
Solomon’s:
Location: Hussein’s
Food Verdict: I often mix up Solomon’s with Hussein’s, but I like Solomon’s burger sauce more. We’ve heard a few horror stories about their garlic mayo, but ultimately that’s really just a problem with garlic mayo as a concept.
Queue: They’re normally less busy than Hussein’s but are equally good; if you’re in a rush, it’s fine to pop by there. They’re owned by the same family and the vibes between the two are always jovial.
Posh Nosh:
Location: It’s close to St. Peter’s, just down New Inn Hall Street, but most people who go are coming back from Atik (RIP) or Hank’s.
Big Plus: A pound cheaper than the others, with a small chips at £2.50.
Food Verdict: Their chili sauce has a texture akin to pasta sauce; it’s certainly unique but goes better in a kebab than on chips. My friend swears by the cheesy chips.
The next big question once you’ve decided on a van, is of course, what to order. This, of course, is highly dependent on why you’ve ended up eating at one of the holy grails of Oxford’s dining scene – Cherwell offers a definitive guide for what to order, when:
When you’re up next and undecided: Don’t waste the time of the van owners or the people behind you. Get a small chips and barbecue sauce so you’re not the asshole holding everybody up.
Back from the club but heading to afters: A large cheesy chips with salt. Steer clear of the anti-social sauces: curry, garlic, chili are not soft on your breath.
On the way home from the library at some ungodly hour: Doner wrap with all the works: salads, chili and garlic sauce, AND a drink. #treatyourself. Do you want onion rings too?
You’ve ended up at Hussein’s but you’re loyal to another van: The mozzarella sticks with ketchup. The Italians may cry, but you’ll sleep well knowing that you cheated on your van for some delicious stringy sticks.
You’re a picky eater: Chips and chicken nuggets, ketchup in a corner. But at that point, just get McDonald’s.
Once you receive your order, eat it either on your way back home or sit in a public space nearby and chat. Radcliffe Square and the little memorial across from the Ashmolean are common choices. Both have public bins in their vicinity, which are a far more preferable alternative to having the lingering smell of last night’s kebab stuck in your bin for the next week. Kebab vans are staples of Oxford culture, so don’t be afraid to try them all—your drunk self will thank you!
