Torpids: the bringer of cult-collegiate support, un-ironic unitards, and this year: the first blue skies in what has felt like an eon. Torpids sees colleges qualify as many boats as they can in both men’s and women’s divisions and enter them into four days of bumps racing. From the bung lines at Iffley Meadows it’s a mad dash to the finish just before Folly Bridge; battling to bump the boat in front, avoiding being bumped by the boat behind and as was painfully reminded to the St Catherine’s College and St Hilda’s College boats this year, evade swans that should happen to cruise into the racing line!
Torpids 2025 provided a turbulent competition with immediate disappointment for the lower-half divisions who missed out on racing all together due to the high stream. It was up to the top 37 men’s and women’s crews to carry to competition for their respective colleges.
Crews across the divisions were gunning for blades, an honour only bestowed upon crews who bump every day of Torpids: Hertford maintained consistently high performances as their W1 and O1 both secured their set, with W1 even jumping up into the top division. Men’s Division III saw blades for four of their twelve crews; St Hilda’s, Oriel College, Wolfson College and Worcester College, rendering it the most fruitful division of the competition, closely followed by Women’s Division II in which three sets of blades were won by Hertford College, Exeter College and Somerville College. The college who gained th
e most places at Torpids was Worcester, with an increase of eleven; six places gained by the men and five by the women.
But as some colleges soared, others (almost literally) sunk, and we had no shortage of spoons this year. Women’s Division I dished out three sets of spoons to Magdalen College, Trinity College and Lady Margaret Hall, as these three boats had fallen into the division below by the end of Saturday. Linacre College suffered a huge dip in the position of their O1 boat as they dropped eleven places down the ranks. It was only their women’s crew that prevented total annihilation by gaining two places overall. The most catastrophic spoons recipients of this year’s Torpids were St Anne’s College. Starting at a comfortable 20th, the week saw Anne’s only qualified boat, their W1 crew, plummet down to 33rd. Perhaps the lack of lower-half divisions was a blessing in disguise, as it prevented any further spiralling.
Saturday provided a lovely end to the occasion as the smell of cheap prosecco drying on the pontoons filled the air, as the commentator repeatedly reminded crews to hold back from jumping into the river in celebration. Ultimately, it was the Wolfson men and Pembroke women who both solidified the top spot in each Division I, and won their first Torpids Headships.
As support and excitement built over the week, the Isis welcomed back its state of boat-induced chaos. Bank riders, spectators, umpires, and poorly timed pedestrians lined the banks and, as you made your way down the towpath, Torpids was on every tongue. Now that rowers have wetted their racing appetites, it’s up to the boat clubs to keep up the momentum and use their victory or defeat to fuel their training for Trinity’s Summer VIIIs.
