It’s something all of us seek to some extent, often
agonize about and usually want more of. No I’m not talking
about the first thing that may spring to mind, but something that
is often even trickier to define: confidence. Confidence is an
elusive quality which, like maths, seems to be something you are
born with, or something that you can develop with a struggle over
time, which would put most people (myself included) firmly into
the second category. Either way, it is intrinsically hard to
define. What, for example, characterizes the borders between
confidence and arrogance? When Oscar Wilde declared his genius on
arrival in America, was he telling the truth, exuding confidence,
or simply being arrogant? For those of us not confusing American customs officials
(which, it has to be said, it not the brightest idea in this day
and age) confidence is generally viewed as a means to an end. It
is the confidence behind interviewees that clinches their
interviews, boldness of ideas and style that upgrades essays and
it is relaxed confidence that attracts the opposite sex. But then
there is still the risk of tipping the borderline and straying
into the realms of arrogance, a complete turn off. If you’re
British you have added complications: you’ve probably spent
most of your life being taught how valuable modesty is, so how is
it possible for modesty and confidence to co-exist? Plus the fact
that achievement is often dodgy ground in school, thanks to the
stereotypes set up in ‘teen’ movies. Geeky,
unattractive people do well in exams, fit sporty people
don’t, but who cares – they’re popular. This
automatically casts a slur on doing well in exams. Geeky
ain’t cool, which in turn is a bit of a confidence knocker
in that many students are embarrassed about doing well. So bad
luck you lot. Guess we’re all confined to unattractiveness
and those dreadful 1950s thick rimmed spectacles that according
to stereotype all academically sound people wear. Bearing this in
mind, many are disadvantaged in that they come from a background
of under confidence on coming up to university. But is it always
confident people that are successful in life? It would seem that this is not always the case. Take a look at
the acting industry: a huge dichotomy exists behind most of the
people involved in it. Despite the fact that actors perform in
front of a huge variety of people, in many different venues, or
are willing to imprint their performances on film, they are often
shy and under-confident people. On the other hand, it is those
with the confidence to project themselves that often make up for
embarrassing lack of talent – I’m sure that I
wouldn’t be alone in putting nearly half of Hollywood in
this category. Shy retiring violets don’t do well in this
day and age. A weapon that if used in high enough proportions is guaranteed
to get rid of any shyness is often deadly: booze. Booze has to be
one of the key factors behind sudden confidence boosting; though
whether it achieves an entirely positive effect remains to be
seen. How many freshers, on coming up to uni for the first time
have discovered they are the proud possessor of two
personalities: the quiet sober and the raucous drunk? I’ve
lost count of the times I’ve happily zoomed through Oxford
on my bike in a skimpy school girl’s uniform after yet
another ‘Uniform’ bop, pissed as a proverbial, not
really caring how much of my legs (or come to that, my underwear)
is showing when I would have been more discerning when sober.
It’s incredible how alcohol can enhance body confidence. It
gives people the power to believe that they are Britney
Spears/Brad Pitt, that they do have flat stomachs and long legs,
and even if they don’t, it ceases to matter. It’s not
just body confidence that improves. How many drunken flirtations
have you had with complete stranger that you normally would be
too nervous/discerning to approach when sober? So confidence is a huge and vague confusing area. Like money,
it’s always going to be unequally spread. There will be some
people who have stacks of confidence and some who have none. And
those who appear to have lots of it but really have none despite
their talent, and those who rely on artificial boosts to get
their dose of a personality trait more valuable than any
currency. Come to that, what the hell gives me the confidence to
write all this stuff about confidence anyway? Oh dear…ARCHIVE: 5th week TT 2004
Confidence tricks
