So we’re halfway there, into that part of the footballing season commonly known as the ‘packed festive period’. The earlier anomalous aspects of the league table have begun to dissipate and its business ends are beginning to take on a look which many might have predicted at the start of the season. But other than the fact that my fantasy football team is one of the worst ever assembled, what conclusions can we draw from the Premier League’s first half? I’ll try to distill these past five months of football into five neat little lessons.
1. It’s all about goals, goals, goals.
Perhaps this seems like an obvious statement, but it’s not until you notice the fact that strugglers Aston Villa and Sunderland have conceded the same number of goals as league leaders Manchester United that you begin to realise the importance of a flourishing frontline. While United’s Wayne Rooney and Robin van Persie have scored 19 goals between the two of them, Sunderland have only managed 18 in total. This season has seen those who looked to increase their one goal lead, rather than defend it, rewarded – and in turn we the fans have been rewarded with some thrilling and high scoring games. As this month’s Swansea-Norwich game showed, it’s been a ‘you score three then we’ll score four’ type of season. Goals are the key: somebody just needs to tell Papiss Cisse.
2. Consistency is crucial.
While this has long been a truism in terms of Premier League results, it’s the managers who have recognised its importance in terms of team selection that are reaping the benefits. It can be no coincidence that Norwich’s unbeaten Premier League run and subsequent meteoric rise up the table to 7th has seen 9 first team players start all 11 of these games. In the same period of time, bottom of the table QPR have had 21 different starters in a desperate attempt to cobble together a run of results to drag them out of the drop zone. Perhaps, in this instance, ‘Arry could do worse than follow the example of Chris Hughton. Much like college football, constant chopping and changing does nothing for a team’s form or confidence. Rotation is rotten.
3. If in doubt, hire a Scot.
Okay, so perhaps this one has an air of bias about it, but with our national team so lacklustre all I have left is to bask in the glory of the managers hailing from my native land. And who could argue with me? Three of the league’s top 6 teams are managed by Scotsmen, led as ever by the indomitable Sir Alex Ferguson. His success could surprise nobody, but the feats of David Moyes’ Everton and in particular Steve Clarke’s West Brom have kept the tradition of Scottish managerial success in England booming. The West Midlands outfit have been one of the season’s surprise packages, characterised by the grit, determination and passion embodied by their manager. With Malky Mackay seemingly guiding Cardiff City in to the top flight too, I can only mourn the fact that our country’s best managers have no interest in managing our, err, country.
4. Give jobs to people who have played Football Manager.
This really isn’t just a shameless attempt to get a job in top flight football, although I fear the results I’ve achieved on my laptop this Christmas will be infinitely better than those I achieve in my collection next term. What I certainly am trying to say is that a shrewd transfer policy is more important than ever. £12m Olivier Giroud, £9m Esteban Granero and £14m Joe Allen have joined a series of recent high-profile and expensive players who have failed to shine for their new sides, a group still fronted manfully by their glorious leader Fernando Torres. It’s no surprise that their respective sides are struggling to gel and struggling to achieve their pre-season targets.
On the other hand, £2m Michu must go down as not only the signing of the season, but one of the best value-for-money signings in Premier League history. Joint top scorer in the league, his 12 goals from midfield have propelled his Swansea side into the top half of the table and seen his own value rise dramatically. Other low key, low price, but highly successful signings include Claudio Yacob of West Brom, Kevin Mirallas of Everton and Norwich’s Sebastien Bassong. It’s clear that success in this season’s Premier League has been achieved by spending money wisely, not spending money freely.
5. Don’t believe the hype, this league is not the best in the world.
These aren’t just the ravings of a bitter Scotsman, honest. While being forced to watch a standard of football comparable to the JCR Premier Division and pay £20 each week for the privilege could leave every fan’s view of what constitutes ‘high quality football’ warped, my opinions on the Premier League do not come through saltire-tinted specs. You only have to look at the results in European competitions to see that this is the case. Only two Premier League sides have made it through to the last 16 of the Champions League, with last season’s winners Chelsea ignominiously dumped out at the first hurdle. Not only this, but some of this season’s Premier League games have left a lot to be desired. The standard of defending has been particularly low, while some of those who witnessed Stoke and Aston Villa’s 0-0 draw remain in therapy, haunted by what they saw that day.
Yes it’s passionate, yes it’s unpredictable, but so are other top leagues in the world. Those who claim the Premier League is the best in the world have generally never watched much, if any, Bundesliga, La Liga or Serie A action. If you haven’t, you should. Not only is the football fantastic, but if you watch it on foreign TV channels you won’t understand a thing the players, pundits or managers are saying, making them approximately five hundred times more interesting to listen to than their British counterparts.
