“Being bisexual is a bit like being a unicorn.” These words were taken from the contribution of a student to the “Bye Bi Prejudice” Facebook page, set up for the OUSU campaign of the same name. Whilst the statement is in itself light-hearted, the notion that a non-monosexual identity is somehow contradictory, illogical or simply non-existent is a persistent issue that bi/pan people both in this university and wider society face on a regular basis.
Often, people struggle to get beyond binaries of sexuality, as they sometimes struggle to get beyond the flawed concept of gender binaries. The result is that, a lot of the time, non-monosexual people are thought not quite to “belong” anywhere. On occasion, this can result in exclusion and erasure, whereby individuals don’t quite feel accepted by groups or people who identify as monosexual.
The issue of such exclusion and erasure can further lead to confusion, misunderstandings and damaging assumptions. The latter is something that I personally have found a particular struggle, both at home and in Oxford.
On being elected as the LGBTQ rep for Univ, I was asked by someone whether they thought it was appropriate for a straight woman to hold the position. The fact that I currently have a boyfriend apparently, in itself, defines my sexuality. I have been told that I “look too straight” to be bisexual, and I have also been asked uncomfortable and invasive questions about my sexual preferences.
When these comments are directed at me, I often instinctively feel the need to defend myself, as if I am some kind of fraud or a curious specimen. Whilst I cannot and do not wish to speak for all people who identify as non-monosexual, I know, from my own experiences and from the experiences shared by other students on the campaign page, that the issues raised here are real and crop up time and time again.
We need this campaign because it empowers a group of people within Oxford whose voices are very often erased. It’s frustrating and upsetting to hear that others face these issues, but also extremely comforting to know that there are others who feel the same as I do.
Through raising the profile of the problems and of non-monosexual identities themselves, and through providing a platform for students to celebrate their identities and dispel damaging stereotypes, I hope that this campaign can help to reduce significantly the prejudice that is faced by bi/pan students. In many cases, we see that uncomfortable comments and assumptions arise not out of malice, but rather from a lack of awareness or information. Ultimately, I hope that people will become more open minded about identities which often don’t fit neatly into the categories laid out by society. No one has to explain, justify, or choose their identity.
News: Cherwell reports on OUSU’s “Bye Bi Prejudice” campaign
