Friday, April 4, 2025

News

Varsity Summer Trip: What do we know?

The inaugural Varsity Summer Trip, a five-day trip for Oxford University and Cambridge University students to Malta in early July 2025, will be launching its first ticket release on...

University set to adopt non-binary inclusive Latin in ceremonies

Oxford University is set to adopt gender-inclusive Latin in its official ceremonies. The move...

Oxford City Council passes Boycott Divestment and Sanctions motion

Oxford City Council passed a motion on 24th March in support of the Boycott,...

Magdalen Tower to close for repairs over May Day, choir set to move location

Cherwell has obtained documents that detail three alternatives currently under consideration: the Radcliffe Camera, the Merton Tower, and the Carfax Tower.

New John’s Quad

St John’s has plans to build a new quad when it resumes control of land on St. Giles. The site, though belonging to the...

Virgin Auction

A Chilean student is auctioning off her virginity to pay for her last two years on a Modern Languages course. The 21-year old, who...

Exam Labour

Antonella Magnani, 28, recently sat her final law exam while in labour in a hospital delivery room, after college authorities concluded that giving birth...

Town Spies

Angry York residents are lying in wait every night for unsuspecting student revellers, after the University’s Vice-Chancellor has offered a reward for information relating...

Is This Man a Traitor?

He walks into the council chamber of the town hall, dressed in a black leather jacket and jeans, and proffers his hand firmly when...

One Hell of a Weekend

Schizophrenic weather changes, grass stains, undercooked beefburgers, and a mixed-bag of bands: last weekend, Wadham College managed to recreate the authentic summer festival feeling...

Underwhelming

I want to bottle-fuck you slowly with my sunglasses on. Well, there’s something to try out next time you’re in Filth. Yum. These are...

Stages with Black Spaces

Help me. I’m standing in front of five hundred or so people, on stage with a guy who looks like Errol Brown. I was...

Riding on the Edge

I’m on a bike, up a mountain, in Bolivia, and I’m remembering that bit in The Beach, the part where Richard talks about the...

Pub

The Turf is synonymous with matriculation, mods, finals and student scum. Its mistreatment by absurdly-dressed, braying idiots, commences with the ceremony that makes one...

Mind Over Matter

If you answered; 4 questions correctly you are a genius, 3 correctly – you are above average intelligence 2 correctly – you are normal...

A Philosophical Double-Helix

In 1953, a year after deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) was identified as the molecule that carries the biochemical information responsible for the physiology, anatomy and...

Word on the Streets

‘Butch’ sells the Big Issue in Summertown and on Broad Street. He has been homeless for six years and is on a drug rehabilitation...

Hollywood Shoots Another Load

It’s happening exactly as before,” sneers Agent Smith dryly. “Well,” chuckles one of his dozens of clones, “not exactly.” Evidently The Matrix Reloaded is...

A Reich Romantic Laugh

Before I saw Mostly Martha I didn’t know what to expect. It’s billed as a German rom-com so I tried to extrapolate. There’d be...

Spot-On Classic

A sweeping, majestic, sensuous epic of a film, running for just over three hours, and based on the novel by Count Giuseppe Tomasi di...

Radiohead

Considering the anticipation that has been attached to the new Radiohead material, for those of us who haven’t been bothered to download it already,...

Slip me some Skin

Ever since the untimely break up of Skunk Anansie, time has shown that their material has aged very well. Some would say not at...

Mogwai Fear No-one

Seeing Mogwai is an experience. Those who turn up with ear plugs have the wrong idea. The Sk8r Bois who came along because they...

Another Late Night

CLUBBING TWISTED NUCLEUZ TOUR THE ZODIAC SUNDAY 25TH MAY Ed real, Ryan H and James lawson feature in a bank holiday break-beat hot-house tin-trance...

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