Thursday, May 1, 2025
Blog Page 1014

Interview: Alister McGrath

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“I was a student at Wadham, and I was drawn there partly because it had reputation for being a really Marxist place in those days. I was a Marxist-atheist in those days as well. Back in the 1960s, that’s what every young person was.”

So Alister McGrath, Professor of Science and Religion at Oxford University, leading Christian apologist, and author of over 30 books including The Dawkins Delusion, described his early days studying Chemistry at Oxford. It was here, he told me, that he made the transition to Christianity. “Coming to Oxford, I suddenly realised the world was bigger than I thought, and it made me do a lot of rethinking. To cut a long story short, I moved away from atheism towards Christianity, basically because Christianity seemed to me to offer a better way of looking at the world. It was a very intellectual conversion.”

As we talked, sat in opposite armchairs in a room above the Harris Manchester College Chapel, McGrath elaborated on how this change was woven with doubts about the principles of his youth. “If you’re locked into an intellectual way of looking at the world, it limits what you see. If you read Arthur Koestler’s works, he talks about his own experience where the world seemed very simple but also very limited, and he came to the view that the world cannot be taken in by any single theory. That was really what I experienced. I still use Marxism – it’s very good at social analysis – but there seemed vast areas of life where it didn’t give good answers.”

“If you want to be cynical”, McGrath smiled wryly, “You could say that what I’ve done is substitute one big picture for another. What I think I realised was I’d stepped into the wrong big picture and it wasn’t big enough.” One important influence on this conclusion was the student community he found in Oxford. “In the Oxford intellectual environment, people talk about things a lot: over lunch, over dinner, in the pubs. I found myself being exposed to ideas I had not thought through before. Oxford is that kind of catalyst.” Another was a revaluation of what science could offer. “I started to read about history and philosophy of science, and though I had thought science gave very simple, crisp, clear answers to questions, looking at the history and philosophy I found science was much more malleable and open-ended than I’d realized.”

This debate over the role of science became one of many that McGrath would grapple with in both academic and apologetic capacity for over 30 years. Asked about the state of Christian apologetics today, he continues in his measured tone. “Apologetic literature needs to be acutely alert to the questions people are asking, to the anxieties they are expressing. It must be constantly asking how the Christian faith can be interpreted and explained to really highlight the way it connect up with these questions. It not about reworking Christianity; it’s much more about trying to say, look, there is this big theme in Christianity which connects very will to this and to this, and hasn’t been explained very well. So apologetics needs to be immersed in the deep structures of Christianity, but exquisitely sensitive to the questions people are asking.”

In a word, what is the biggest question Christianity faces right now? “Relevance. It’s a ‘so what’ question. Lots of Christian apologists are very good at defending the rationality of faith, but so what? You’ve got to show there is existential traction, that it really relates to them.” He frowns slightly, before continuing slowly. “Partly, this is because we live in a post-modern situation, and post-modernity often asks not ‘is this right?’ but ‘does this work’. That’s actually a very important question to ask: what difference does Christianity make to my life?”

In his teenage years, growing up in Northern Ireland, McGrath described how the main difference Christianity seemed to make was dividing society. “I was there in the late 1960s, and it was a time of rising religious tension; what we euphemistically call ‘the Troubles’ kicked off  after I left. To my way of thinking, this illustrated that religion was divisive, a source of violence, and it reinforced my Marxist concerns about religion, that it was something which sedated people and prevented them from asking big questions. Northern Ireland reinforced my sense that atheism was the obvious option for any thinking person.”

Is anything unique, then, about the Oxford environment which set McGrath thinking differently? “Having spent some time as an academic in London, I’ve noticed Oxford is very good at forcing students of different disciplines to talk to each other: the college system creates those cross-discipline friendships and conversations. I think it also helps research, bringing people of different backgrounds together and producing innovation across disciplinary boundaries. Oxford has this capacity to generate ideas, spark people off .”

Satireangst: why even comedians need protection from the powerful

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Germany’s relationship with freedom of expression has long been a problematic one. The Nazi period followed by the GDR impressed the importance of it so deeply into the national conscience that they wrote it into their constitution: “There shall be no censorship.” But of course no state is really without censorship, and the same history has made Germany quick to axe content it thinks touches a political nerve. So it draws a line between freedom of expression and what it calls ‘Schmähkritik,’ which best translates as ‘abusive criticism’. It is this line that German comedian Jan Böhmermann claimed to be illuminating as he read out a poem about Turkish President Recep Erdoğan in which he called the President a viewer of child pornography and accused him of bestiality. The result: Erdoğan is pressing charges against the comedian under paragraph 103 of the German penal code, which pertains to offending foreign heads of state.

Böhmermann’s poem is crass, it’s racist and it’s homophobic. He prefaces it by saying “Now this is what you’re not allowed to do,” so he’s clearly aware of the legal ramifi cations. So why do two-thirds of the German population believe it should be thrown out of court? Simply put, context is key. Böhmermann did not choose Erdoğan at random, previously the Turkish President tried to have another piece of German satire censored, a song that highlighted his oppression of Kurds, Christians, women and journalists. Böhmermann points out with sarcastic naivety that perhaps the Turkish President does not understand the definition of satire, as no such shows are to be found in his country, and gives his poem as an “example” of its limits. It is true, you will not find any satirical programmes poking fun at Erdoğan in Turkey. Any criticism of the President can lead to criminal prosecution, loss of livelihood, or worse. Possibly the pettiest example being the man threatened with time in prison for creating an internet image comparing Erdoğan’s facial expressions to Gollum. Bülent Mumay, a prominent Turkish journalist, was asked whether there was a battle going on in Turkey between the government and journalists. “It’s no battle,” he replied, “it’s a massacre.”

One very distinct memory compels me to defend Böhmermann’s poem against punishment, especially by a megalomaniac like Recep Erdoğan. My father is a comedian, and I remember how we were on holiday when we heard about the attacks on Charlie Hebdo. I recall the floods of emails from artists and performers trying to organise a response. I remember him sitting down to draft a letter for PEN, something along the lines of a declaration of solidarity with comedians everywhere, stating they wouldn’t be intimidated into silence. The large part of me knew this was the right thing to do. The idea that fear might stop my dad from making a joke was grotesque enough to be laughable. At the same time that fear had already rooted itself deep in my brain. I wanted to say please, please don’t put your name on anything, don’t make any jokes about it, just don’t give anyone an excuse to make you a target. Seeing him with a pen was like watching him on a tightrope, but I tucked this part of me away because showing I was afraid would be unfair. Because no matter how shaken I felt, planting the seed of self-censorship in my dad would be a betrayal. The idea that this feeling could be a part of everyday life, the crippling urge to play it safe, to self-censor for fear of the consequences, makes my stomach tighten.

Böhmermann has not been attacked or physically threatened, but he is being intimidated. Erdoğan’s obsession with quashing criticism is spreading beyond Turkey’s borders. His position in the migrant crisis given the EU deal with Turkey (in which Germany played no small part) has given him a taste of leverage in Europe. He must not be allowed to exploit it. It is uncomfortable to defend such a crude example of comedy, but since when has satire been about comfort? Other German artists have come out in solidarity with Böhmermann, stating: “Discussions about and criticism of Jan Böhmermann’s poem belong in the country’s newspapers, not in its courts. Art cannot happen in a climate where artists have to think about whether their creations will lead to criminal charges being brought against them, in which they begin to either censor themselves or be censored. It is the work of art and of satire to always be testing societal boundaries and provoking public discussion.”

They further demand that para. 103 be struck from the German penal code, calling it outdated. Because history has taught us that mocking authority is important; whether it’s a God, a president, or even David Cameron and a dead pig. Because when the jesters start being led to the gallows, that’s when you should be really afraid.

Trump: a blessing in disguise?

When Donald Trump announced his candidacy in June, one could hardly have foreseen the implications of his decision. His immediate success seemed a catastrophe for moderates and liberals, not only in the US, but worldwide. And yet, in what could be the political paradox of the century, Trump’s ascendancy might very well benefit the leftist cause, breaking a century-long stalemate in American politics.

By now it is evident. Trump has divided and demolished the Republican Party, ensuring its downfall. Exposing the patchy nature of the Republican base, the Donald’s rise unmasked the base of the Party, revealing the racistpopulism that lies behind. This revelation is likely to alienate the moderate conservatives from the ‘Party of Lincoln and Regan’. Even high-profile republicans, from former nominee Mitt Romney to Karl Rove, attacked the likely nominee, an unprecedented move in American politics. To describe the Party as divided would be an understatement. Marco Rubio’s pathetic and desperate swing at Trump by implying the brevity of his anatomical form, and the recent competition with Ted Cruz on who has the more attractive wife are setting the political tone for the next generation of Conservative leaders.

But the best is yet to come. American conservatism and the Republican Party are facing what can only be described as a Catch 22, especially considering Trump’s overwhelming but not majority support. Picking Trump as nominee would mean alienating the moderate Republicans and an almost certain defeat in the Presidential race, whoever the Democratic nominee might be. It is hard to envisage the Elephant party surviving this debacle. And yet, the alternative is by no means more rosy. Robbing Trump of his nomination, be it a legitimate scheme or a treacherous one, will split the party even further due to the intransigent support of Trump’s followers. Hardly a tamed crowd, as demonstrated by the violence displayed at almost every Trump rally so far, it’s unlikely that the magnate’s supporters will accept such an arrangement.

The fact that Donald Trump is supplying such a laudable and unknowing service to his country should not prevent his condemnation as a populist and a danger (unlikely as it may be). But do not panic. Trump really will “make America great again” by ending the American political stalemate, which saw its polity ruled by two conservative parties, just one slightly more liberal than the other. Trump’s rise is a blessing in disguise. A very good disguise, but a blessing nonetheless.

Unheard Oxford: Dr Francesca Galligan, curator of rare books

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I’ve been working at the Bodleian for nearly 10 years now. Before that I worked for nearly a year as an antiquarian cataloguer at Merton and Christ Church, but I was also here as a student.

I think really it’s a dream job. When I was here as a student, and as a graduate student, I did a bit of work on manuscripts and things like that in the Duke Humphrey library, but I never imagined that there could be a job where I do this every day.

Often there is no average day and we get thrown all sorts of things, but let’s pretend there is an average day. A lot of my time is spent reading booksellers catalogues, and quite a lot of what I do is buying antiquarian books for the library. We often get people coming in with what they say are very old books, that often turn out to be about 50 years old; which is something of a disappointment for me, because when someone says very old I think maybe a 16th century book, but that rarely happens.

Putting on the 24 Treasures exhibition has definitely been a highlight of my time here. You have an idea and you hope that the public is going to enjoy and understand it. When you see that they do, it’s incredibly satisfying. I wanted to have some pieces that people wouldn’t have seen and perhaps wouldn’t have expected to see in a shiny treasures gallery. I wanted them to know what we considered treasures didn’t match up with the idea of a treasure.

The placement of the artefacts in pairs was really a way of making people look freshly at something and to consider what makes something valuable, a treasure or special. My favourite is probably the draft of Wilfred Owen’s ‘Dulce et Decorum est’, just because I love his poetry and you can read it in his own hand and see him making changes as he goes along. And I love looking at it with that beautiful 18th century poppy illustration hovering below.

My favourite book in the whole library is one that Henry VIII used to own. It’s a printed book and it contained advice to the bishops on how to implement his new reforms, but the book is annotated by him throughout in his own hand. For me, flicking through this book and seeing these annotations and the way he plays around with the Ten Commandments in a fairly wicked way is amazing. Personally, I hope to do another exhibition and I’d quite like to do one on epic poetry, which is one of my research interests. But we’ll see about that. I’m okay for the moment!

One thing I’d change about Oxford… Collections

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Before an Oxford term may begin, one must embark on a cruel and terrible journey – one that provokes internal conflict, doubt, and great pain. It is of course the bleak, cold fact known only as ‘collections’. Just as Andy Dufresne must crawl through a rather unpleasant tunnel to reach freedom at the end of The Shawshank Redemption, we too must make our own venture into such a tunnel, and that’s only to reach the rest of term itself!

I tried to find out the historic provenance of this strange evil, but had no such luck; we can only guess what kind of mirthless mind saw a vacation as an opportunity to revise. Yet, at least in my case, this ambition has failed. My last vacation, like the last, was characterised by tragically low productivity, whilst feeling rather guilty and regretful about it.

And so, like any last minute essay crisis degenerate, I pushed revision off , told myself I would do it tomorrow, whilst worry ate away. The fact that this practically persisted until two days before my collections was regrettable, but inevitable. Indeed, the moment you come back to Oxford, you are forced into feeling guilty for your indolence and essentially punched in the face to remind you of how much more you should be doing.

In a way, collections are a good thing. They’re a good thing in the same sense that high taxation is, or reading dry old great novels, or making sure to eat vegetables. They’re probably necessary to get us to do something. Yet I am too weak a man to deal with a day of reckoning at the start of each term. Leave me in peace, collections – I’ll do the work tomorrow. Probably.

The Making of Bench: contribution and collaboration

Ellie Siora, Co-director

Filming Bench proved whimsical in every sense of the word: the experience was quirky, capricious and amusing, but also unpredictable and erratic. But amongst the (occasional) over-intrusive directing, the runaway shots, and the in-shot pedestrians – directing Bench was an inspiring experience.

During shooting – however cliché it sounds – what truly stuck out to me was the importance of collaboration. Every member of the crew and cast was essential to telling the story – the unseen artistry of boom-holders and script-markers cannot be underestimated. Not only technically, but also creatively, collaboration and a collective passion to shoot this film and shoot it well was the engine of the project. I came to realise that the ideas of the cast and crew were often better than my own, and that good directing is acknowledging and incorporating these ideas – rather than trying to shine as an individual creator.

A reoccurring joke on set was me and the first AD (David Williams) being like the angel and devil on the shoulder of my co-director (Tara). It felt like playing a game of cinematographic tug of war – striving to frame a shot to ‘perfection’ in the ether of artistic timelessness, against the practical need to actually produce our vision on a tight schedule.

So as the process of artistic decisions was a learning experience, so were the results of these decisions. When we first read the Bench script, we immediately saw its potential to comment on topics in current popular discussion – particularly mental health and gender roles in contemporary society, and how the two intersect. Using the main character Elizabeth (Imogen Allen) as a means to address the conversation around mental health conditions, we were particularly adamant to be as sensitive and as human as possible in our depiction.

Conducting research around the subject was a main priority in ensuring the film could approach the issues tactfully. The current filmography surrounding autism is primarily and almost exclusively focused on the male experience, particularly in blockbuster film culture such as Rainman, I am Sam or Cube to name but three. We felt the gender of the lead would prove elemental to film’s impact, which is why we chose to cast the main character as female.

Although officially autism is more common in boys than girls (1 in 42 compared to 1 in 189), recent researchers believe that this data is skewed due to how autism is identified. Professor Janet Treasure of KCL suggests around a fifth of cases of autism in girls remain undiagnosed – because perfectionism and exhibited rigidity is still considered an inherently ‘female’ trait. Director Beeban Kidron recently emphasised how “movies have the power to create a shared narrative experience and to shape memories and worldviews.” I hope Bench, even though only a short-film pulled together amongst multiple essay crises, can contribute to the conversation in some small but meaningful way.

Annie Hayter, Actor (“Claire”)

I had a wonderful time filming Bench – it was fantastic to work with such an enthused and lovely group of people for my first experience of acting in a short film. It was also exciting to be in a production that had, not only a female protagonist at its centre, but was led by two brilliant women as directors behind the camera, particularly as the film industry can be so male-dominated.

I played the role of Claire, best friend to the main character Elizabeth, and I think my favourite scene is a discussion between the two characters, shot beneath flickering fairy lights, bathing our faces in a blue glow. With that said, I also thoroughly enjoyed doing multiple takes of a scene where my character is running up and down the hill at South Parks, clad in a violet dressing gown, flapping in the wind.

Liv Grant, Editor and Co-producer

Film editing involves transforming the raw footage (500 clips in the case of Bench) into a sequence that tells a story and reflects the director’s vision as closely as possible. This is more complex than simply putting the clips into chronological order. It’s rather is a multi-step process that begins with choosing the best takes, then working closely with the director to select the best angles and where to cut the clips, and finally optimising the audio and colour-grading the film.

Editing really starts in the pre-production, with the director drawing a story board where they block a scene (i.e. decide where the actors will move) and also decide from which angles they want certain parts of the scene to be shot from. These early decisions will often change after the shoot, and editing becomes a very creative process which determines the rhythm and pace of the film.

Bench has been a great project to work on because it has been a very collaborative process between me and the two directors, which often results in three different opinions on how the film should look, and has involved editing sessions lasting up to 10 straight hours. I have been using Final Cut Pro X, as it is a professional-grade software that is also suitable for amateurs as it is very intuitive and easily learnt. Editing Bench has been an eye-opening experience, and definitely something I’d do again.

Bench premieres on Sunday of 3rd Week at the UPP, along with the other four OBA ‘Easter Project’ films

Florio: a Poet’s Dream

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Sunday of 0th week is an odd time. I feel I should be working, but also, it’s the weekend, I’m hungover from a bop I happily cannot remember and – most importantly – I’m lazy. One part of my day has featured intermittently in most of my Sundays in Oxford: Magdalen’s Florio Society. A poetry discussion group, informal, typically with alcohol, it would not be an unusual scene across Oxford. There is, however, one extraordinary difference: the poetry being discussed is very much contemporary; so contemporary, in fact, that frequently the first time it has received audience is in that very room – it is the attendees’ own.

The society goes back at least as far as 1956, and some of its members have gone on to achieve notable literary success (former members include Adam Thorpe, James Fenton – even the politician John Redwood). Its guests have included authors of the highest rank: Auden, Pinter and Murdoch have all attended. The Society is named for an old member of the college, John Florio (1553? – 1625), known best for Italian translations and whose work Shakespeare used as a source for ‘The Tempest’. The notion of translation is peculiarly apt: the society takes pride in, and frequently achieves, clarity of expression. This poetic imperative lends itself, so far at least, to a high quality of poetic expression from all submitters.

I may be the exception to that rule. I write poetry infrequently and the idea of ‘creating’ is a terrifying one. Too often I fear my ideas might be too shabby, maybe even too clichéd to bear any kind of scribal effort. I did, however, produce a poem for Florio this time around (this Sunday). It’s not published here – I’m not sure it will ever again see light of day – but it was immensely worthwhile to elicit a response from others whose poetical abilities far exceed my own. And I’m not just talking about that third-year English student who’s notoriously bright; alongside we pretentious, high-minded undergrads, the evening is frequented by Magdalen’s Emeritus Fellow, John Fuller: he is a renowned poet in his own right, and to have your own work critiqued by a poet (and former tutor) of such acuity is an immensely thought-provoking experience. To be able to criticise his poetry, most of which is unpublished, is also a powerful leveller – first and far-too-many years share in a unitive anonymity where ‘contextualising’ a work is an impossibility.

This anonymity is a tool I should stress more clearly: the discussion requires no admission of authorship. Katie Mennis, a first year Classics & English student, attests, “I would not normally let just anyone read something I’d written – in Florio, I don’t have to worry. The atmosphere is relaxed enough that I’m not afraid just to send something in – and no one knows it’s me. It’s also a great learning experience; it usually points out where I could be syntactically stricter, and so helps my writing overall.” Attitudes like this are, I’d expect, common across those who go.

Each week is loosely grouped around a theme. This is almost invariably ignored, unless it can somehow be related to what a poet wanted to talk about anyway. However, the poems do share something in common: they ache to be read, and read aloud. As no one author has any claim over any poem, each time someone elects to read, the poem is lent an oral depth which transfers naturally into discussion. It is this discursive element which makes Florio so powerful – it is more like a conversation – the poems merely starting points.

Day Festival

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Models: Ella Cattle / Izzy Taylor

Makeup & Hair: Brothers Oxford

Styling: Roseanne Finn

Creative directors: Roseanne Finn / Aini Putkonen

Photography: Jasmine B Photography

Ray’s Chapter & Worse: 2nd week

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This week I had a revelation. Whilst cycling back from rowing, just before I was due to go into the Choffices (Cherwell Offices for the uninitiated) to edit the paper, and planning my review of a play I’d seen the previous night to be published tomorrow, it suddenly hit me. Since coming to Oxford, I have been imbued with magical powers. Maybe it was passed on to me through that most mysterious of ceremonies, Matriculation (if you didn’t drink the fresh blood from the skull of the Tab you’re not properly Oxonian), or maybe I’ve just inherited it through osmosis by living here. As well as struggling with a world class degree, I am also juggling the positions of Treasurer of OUCB, Deputy Editor for Cherwell, writing weekly blogs, rowing in the college boat club, publishing a college pamphlet, being Lord High Master of the Croquet, the statue of Bodley in the Bodleian Library every Thursday, and the Vice-President Majestic Wizard of Iffley (work out which of those is false for yourself). I’m not trying to show off, I’m merely highlighting a glaringly obvious fact: that Oxford encourages us to take far too much on, in far too short a space of time.

Oxford is, you may have noticed, a truly beautiful and fascinating place, full of equally beautiful and fascinating people. There are so many opportunities, so many chances to make friends and network, to try out and hone new skills. You can prove yourself through work, and to commit and become part of a team outside of studies in a myriad of ways. For those of us with exams this term, the temptation is to shut yourself away in a library and surrender your life for that gleaming mirage of a First- and for those of us without exams, there is the chance to fill up the diary with exciting commitments. With so many diversions at every footfall, how could you think to waste even a single second here?

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why Philip Larkin can write better poetry than me. He can stop and think- he remembers to breathe. As for me- well, after dashing up to the Choffices and desperately proofreading articles for four hours, I was sentient only enough to drag myself home to bed. I had no time to think over the day, to reflect on who I’d met or what I’d done- I can’t even coherently plan for the week ahead, as I end up throwing myself out of bed each morning to impale myself on the next commitment. That’s not what poetry is about- and quite frankly, I don’t think it’s how one should ‘do’ Oxford. It’s just not humanly possible to fit it all in- the degree, the Blue, the social life. Reading this poem, ‘The Trees’ by Larkin, reminds me that sometimes it’s important to step back, and to let yourself think- only then will you be able to process things, let alone write poetry. As Larkin writes, ‘begin afresh, afresh, afresh’- maybe I won’t go to the AGM of the Majestic Wizards of Iffley tomorrow. Maybe I’ll just go for a walk instead.

The Trees by Philip Larkin

The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.

Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too,
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.

Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.

Passengers left blinded by loud Ryanair decor

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Waking up at 4am and trekking across the country to Stansted is always a bittersweet feeling. Yes, you’re going on holiday but at the same time you’ve only had four hours of sleep and are fed up with the cheerful taxi driver’s incessant attempts to make small talk with you. As if this wasn’t bad enough, you then arrive at an airport.

Everything, except for the glaring billboards, is grey; the floor, the walls and the face of the airport security man asking if you have “any liquids or gels”. Your sheer exhaustion is reaching its peak when all of a sudden a burly man feels you up just because you forgot to take off your belt. They poke around in your bag with what looks like a magic wand but instead of pulling out a rabbit they conjure up some nail scissors and then throw them away. Finally, its over and you make your way through to the terminal to try and buy a coffee. Except you can’t buy a coffee, you can only buy a frappuccino, triple shot, skinny, flexible, rotund latte made with the tears of fucking orphans. Okay, so the frappuccino is actually pretty good and you finally find somewhere to sit down and flick to the ‘off the beaten track’ section of your Lonely Planet guide that other tourists have obviously never read.

Just when you have finally recovered from the traumatic ordeal that was fighting your way through the airport you are hit with yet another discomfort utterly worse than anything that had come before: the colour scheme of Ryanair. It’s almost as if they are trying to trick you – as when you enter the plane you are greeted with an acceptable undulant dark blue that is neither inspiring nor offensive. However, once you pass the first seat the horror manifests itself in the brittle plastic sheaths that shroud the cramped seats and it is inescapable. Yellow is everywhere, in your face, up your nose – it’s practically undressing you. You would never normally wear Ray Bans inside but desperate times call for desperate measures.

To add insult to injury you realise they’ve ripped the seat pocket out as well just so they can offend you with more yellow. Ironically, they’ll be the ones regretting that decision when you can’t find a sick-bag to throw up in. Seriously, who is Ryanair’s interior designer? Or did they just ask a child to name two colours and then went with that. They’re Irish. They could have gone with a nice palatable green but instead decided to bombard you with a yellow that is brighter than Ra himself.

To escape the yellow, you decide to glance at the menu and are shocked to see that a bottle of water costs two quid and a cheese and pickle sandwich is hitting the five pound mark. If the colour scheme hadn’t already put you off your food this menu most certainly will; not only is the quality of the food terrible but it also costs an arm and a leg.

All annoyances aside you gradually find yourself drifting off to sleep, and although you’ll probably have nightmares, it’s a deserved rest after an arduous day. But with a jolt you are awoken; the plane has landed! It was not exactly stress-free but you can now at least think about enjoying your holiday. Just as you’re beginning to forgive Ryanair, your senses are subjected to torture once again when the not-so-bad-landing is followed up by a screeching trumpet fanfare and ripples of applause. If you had had your eyes closed you might have guessed that you’d just gone to see your eight-year-old son’s orchestra, but alas it was just awful ending to an awful flight. Next time I’m flying Easy Jet.