Friday 6th June 2025
Blog Page 1144

The OxStew: Domino’s fall at freshers’ fair

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A riot at the Oxford University Student Union (OUSU) freshers’ fair resulted in thousands of pounds of damage to the historic Examination Schools and several members of staff from the pizza chain Domino’s being sent to hospital.

The OxStew understands that the riot began following malicious rumours spread by free speech supporters inside the fair that the Domino’s stand had run out of pizza. This caused a run on the Domino’s stall and led to several Domino’s members of staff being taken hostage. Several sources have told The OxStew that as the riot intensified students began to strip and pour boiling cheese on the bodies of the hostages, in an attempt to discover the location of more pizza. The riot was eventually put down by Conservative Association members who mistakenly interpreted the uprising as an attempted Corbynist coup.

The University’s Examination Schools are also thought to have been badly damaged in the riot. Many hope that the costs of repairing the damage to the building, for which OUSU is liable as organisers of the fair, will result in the student union going bankrupt so that their colleges can be left the fuck alone.

Freddie Fresh, a fresher at Freshfields College, told The OxStew, “Without the free pizza, freshers’ fair is bloody pointless. I mean how else could people cope with looking at hundreds of stalls detailing things that they will never have time to do while at Oxford? Because let’s face it, Oxford students don’t have free time. When people heard that the pizza might run out the only thing they could reasonably do was go batshit crazy.”

The riot is the latest revenge attack against OUSU organised by free speechers, following the implementation of a ban on the distribution of their magazine No Offence at the fair. A spokesperson for the Free Speech Liberation Front told The OxStew, “Give me liberty or give me death! We will not rest until we can speak freely on campus. Of course, insisting on being able to deliberately offend people makes me a bit of a bellend, but that’s my right. The right to be a bellend. Enshrine that one in the Human Rights Act you commies!”

Collective groans have been reported at colleges all across Oxford, following the reignition of the free speech debate at the University. Joseph Rich, a member of the silent majority, commented, “Look, we fucking hate both sides by this point. They’re both a bunch of attention seeking, self-interested twits who feed off each other’s egos. Is it too much to just be able to have fun and study every now and again without pretending you’re engaged in a struggle over the fate of the universe every five minutes?”

Meanwhile, the guy who makes all the pizzas at Express Pizza tipped off The Oxstew,“With all the local Domino’s workers in hospital, students will now have no choice but to buy our impossibly cheap pizzas. Hee hee!”

Oxford University best in Europe

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Times Higher Education (THE) has placed Oxford University second after California In- stitute of Technology on their 2015-16 World University Rankings, deeming the University the best in Europe.

Oxford has risen three places, having been ranked in fifth place last year. It has over-taken both Cambridge and Harvard, who are ranked 4th and 6th respectively.

The THE rankings claim that they are “the only international university performance tables to judge world class universities across all of their core missions – teaching, research, knowledge transfer and international outlook.”

According to the table, the University has performed particularly impressively in its international outlook (94.4 per cent), research (98.9 per cent) and citations (98.8 per cent). It has performed less well on teaching (86.5 per cent) and industry income (73.1 per cent).

The rankings also include a breakdown of key statistics which shows that the student to staff ratio is 11.6:1 and the female to male ratio is 46:54.

Responding to the news, an Oxford Univer- sity spokesperson told Cherwell, “Students coming to Oxford benefit from having both the resources of world-renowned research centres across a wide range of disciplines and a highly personalized education where access to leading academics is a central part of both postgraduate and undergraduate teaching.’

“Very few other universities offer this combination, and students who come to Oxford experience an institution where ground- breaking research and excellent teaching are both highly valued.”

This table contrasts with the World Reputation Rankings which have placed Harvard first, with Cambridge coming second and Oxford third.

This separate ranking table is designed to “employ the world’s largest invitation- only academic opinion survey to provide the definitive list of the top 100 most powerful global university brands”.

Nick Cooper, OUSU Vice President for Graduates, told Cherwell, “We are pleased to see these results, which are a reflection of the generally excellent quality of teaching and research that students see here. The University scores highly on all measures, with some differences in methodology explaining the variation across rankings.”

“That said, it is important that the University does not become complacent. Issues remain across all levels of education, including in feedback to undergraduates and the qual- ity of provision for Masters students. We look forward to exploring these issues further in our submission to the University’s upcoming Higher Education Review.”

Caitlin Edwards, a second-year student at St Catherine’s, said, “I don’t think it will affect Oxford students any more than giving them an even bigger ego. All these league tables are so pointless; it just gives the University bragging rights and a reason to expect you to produce more work.” 

Protests over new NHS contracts

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New contracts for junior doctors proposed by the Department of Health have provoked outrage across the profession, sparking a protest outside Downing Street by trainee doctors, with two organisers and a large contingent of protestors from Oxford.

The changes, due to take effect next year, will force medics to work longer hours for no extra pay. Junior doctors argue that under new contracts they will take a home-pay cut of up to 15 per cent and will be subjected to working hours that the British Medical Association (BMA) “unsafe and unfair” for patients and doctors.

Joanna May Sutton, an organiser of the ‘Save our Contracts’ protest commented, “It was exciting to see so many angry but energised medical students and doctors coming out to demonstrate.

“These aren’t your typical protesters, and to come out on a Monday evening after work with hundreds of hand-made placards and banners showed that we are willing to do anything to ensure that our patients are kept safe. “

Richard Griffith, a medic at Pembroke College, told Cherwell, “The primary goal is for the best patient care and treatment possible, and it’s difficult to see how these contracts do anything to help towards that goal…If these contracts go through, it could be the start (or some might argue, the continuation) of a dangerous slippery slope for the NHS.”

A clinical medic at Lincoln College told Cherwell, “The proposed contracts are both a step backwards for the NHS and, in many ways, a scam.”

“They remove many of the financial incentives that protect doctors from being overworked on weekends (and fairly reward them when they are), penalise female doctors who take time

out for maternity reasons, and claim to target a problem that doesn’t exist…namely, the myth that doctors don’t work weekends (they do).”

A spokesperson for the British Medical Association (BMA) commented, “We urge the government not to impose a contract that is unsafe and unfair.

“We will resist a contract that is bad for patients, bad for junior doctors and bad for the NHS.”

However, the Department of Health has defended its decision, saying in a statement, “We want to improve patient safety in hospitals. We believe the current contract is unfair for doc- tors and patients, so we want to discuss a way forward with the BMA that maintains average earnings for junior doctors and doesn’t cut the pay bill.”

Junior doctors are currently paid “standard” time for working normal hours, Monday to Friday. However, under the new proposals, “stan- dard” time will be extended from 60 hours per week to 90 and stretch up to 10pm every night of the week apart from Sunday.

Third-year Oxford medical student Eirion Slade has written a song in protest against the contracts to the tune of Jessie J’s ‘Price Tag’.

He performed the song during the protest outside Downing Street, and it has now received more than 190,000 views online.

He told Cherwell, “The proposed junior doctor contracts will drive enormous numbers of doctors out of the profession, since many doctors will not be able to sustain their financial and family commitments on an overnight pay cut. If doctors leave their contracted jobs, they will have to be replaced with expensive locum cover, which will cripple the NHS.

“These contracts are actually so counterpr ductive that it seems like the health secretary is deliberately trying to force the NHS into a financial position that it cannot recover from.” 

Football fans in city centre disorder

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Parts of Oxford city centre were temporarily closed off on Tuesday evening as football fans clashed with police.

The trouble occurred ahead of Oxford United’s match with their local rivals Swindon Town in the second round of the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy, the first fixture played between the two teams since 2012.

The disorder centred on the area around The One Bar & Restaurant, which had been designated as a pre-match pub for Swindon Town fans.

Photos and videos posted online showed scuffles between fans and police, as well as fans verbally abusing the police and flares being thrown. Some fans also reportedly threw glasses during the disorder.

At its worst points, the disorder forced police to close Botley Road and Park End Street. A Thames Valley mounted unit was deployed to keep order as part of the police operation. A group of several hundred fans at the scene of the disorder were later escorted by police back to the train station before the match had even kicked off.

Five arrests were made in total. Three Swindon men aged 41, 42 and 47 were detained on suspicion of affray, with the 42-year-old also arrested on suspicion of possession of a class A drug. A 45-year-old man from Calne was also arrested on suspicion of violent disorder. All four men have been bailed until November.

A further arrest related to the Botley Road disorder was made in Didcot, where a 19-year- old man from Oldham was detained and then cautioned for being drunk and disorderly.

David Chu, manager of The One bar, told the BBC, “There were some troubles outside of the building…the Swindon fans were getting hyped up for the game and probably had some disagreement with police. I think they wanted to make their way off to the Kassam Stadium… everything got out of hand. It’s quite scary be- cause it is a bit out of our control but the police handled everything quite well.”

The match itself went ahead as planned at the Kassam Stadium, with no incidents or arrests. Over nine thousand fans watched Oxford United win 2-0 over a 10-man Swindon Town team, Oxford’s fifth consecutive victory against their Wiltshire rivals.

Christian Blunt, local police area commander for Oxford, said in a statement, “Thames Valley Police had a policing operation in place… throughout [Tuesday] afternoon and evening in Oxford to manage the large number of football supporters for the Oxford v Swindon fixture. This is a local derby and we have historically had alcohol-related crime and disorder problems associated with this.

“We worked closely with the football club to ensure the safety of all people attending the event and going about their daily lives in the city.”

“Unfortunately, a small minority of supporters were intent on causing problems which resulted in disorder in Botley Road, near to the train station. Four men from the Swindon area were arrested for public order offences.”

“In addition a large number of people were also prevented from attending the match, due to their behaviour, and were escorted from the City.”

“I am pleased that the rest of the operation went off without incident.” 

St John’s lost in a hedge-row

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St John’s college is to be forced to pay out an estimated £250,000 worth of legal fees after it lost a long-running battle with a Warwickshire landowner over a hedge. The court case reached its end on 22nd September when Recorder Andrew Willetts ruled against the College.

The dispute began in 2013 when retired architect Anthony Bethell, 75, decided to restore the 180-yard hedge separating his £2.2m Warwickshire home from the Wasperton Estate, owned by St John’s since 1755. Mr Bethell’s one-acre property is bordered on two sides by the college’s tenanted farmland, which totals 1,200 acres. Mr Bethell allegedly approached representatives from St John’s on eight oc- casions over two years in order to clarify the exact location of the boundary between the College’s land and his own.

The dispute over the position of the hedge and whether Mr Bethell was allowed to restore it eventually reached Coventry Crown Court. In his judgment last month, Recorder Andrew Willetts ruled that Mr Bethell is entitled to carry out maintenance work on the hedge and to access College-owned land in order to do so. He ordered St John’s to pay nearly all of Mr Bethell’s legal costs, totalling around £250,000. 

Willetts said that it was “perplexing and bizarre” that the College had failed to respond to Mr Bethell’s approaches over how to proceed. In August 2014, Mr Bethell’s legal team was told in correspondence from lawyers representing St John’s that Andrew Parker, Principal Bursar of the College, “Has no desire to speak to [Mr Bethell] and no amount of correspondence will alter that.”

A judge at an earlier pre-trial hearing reportedly told the parties involved that the bushes “were becoming the most expensive hedge in Warwickshire” and that both sides would be better off “piling up £30,000 each in a field and lighting a huge bonfire.”

Professor Parker said in a statement to Cherwell, “St John’s College greatly regrets the tactics employed by Mr Bethell, including bringing this matter into court by issuing a claim against the College and its tenant. The College regards Mr Bethell as the aggressor in this matter and notes that many opportuni- ties to settle this matter amicably have been passed over by him. Indeed, until proceedings were issued, the College believed that it had reached an agreement with him.

“The College was disappointed by some of the Court’s findings but welcomes the clarity that the decision brings, and the rejection of Mr Bethell’s claim for an additional strip of the College land. The College hopes that this decision will remove the need for Mr Bethell to attempt further manoeuvres that appear to the College to be fundamentally tactical in nature.”

After the latest judgment, Mr Bethell told Cherwell, “It seemed to me that from the very beginning they thought that because they were an Oxford college they couldn’t pos- sibly be wrong. They were incredibly uncooperative and wouldn’t negotiate. I kept asking them to come to the table but they refused. All I wanted to do was restore an ancient hedgerow entirely at my expense but they decided to be awkward and wouldn’t agree to me restoring the hedge or entering the land to carry out work.”

“To this day I have no idea why…the College it- self is a charity and should never have got itself into a situation of wasting these resources.” 

Oxford receives £200m EIB loan

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The European Investment Bank (EIB) has agreed to provide Oxford University with a £200 million loan, the largest sum ever lent by the bank to a European university.

The 30-year loan from the EU’s bank for long- term investment will be used in the funding of the University’s plans to upgrade and replace buildings across the city. This includes the Radcliffe Observatory Quarter and an expansion of the University’s Old Road Campus in the east of Oxford.

The new financial support was announced on a visit to Oxford last month by the EIB Vice-President, Jonathan Taylor, who was welcomed by the outgoing Vice-Chancellor, Professor Andrew Hamilton, along with students and staff involved in the development projects.

Professor Hamilton commented, “Oxford’s internationally outstanding facilities and resources are key to our position as a global leader in education and research. The European Investment Bank has shown a great understanding of our ongoing investment plans for highly advanced buildings and equipment.”

“Their support now gives us greater freedom to progress our vision of a continually evolving campus, enabling world-leading academics to tackle the great research challenges of the 21st Century.”

Vice President of EIB Jonathan Taylor said in a statement, “Investment in research facilities and teaching is essential to unlocking new ideas and scientific discoveries and the Euro- pean Investment Bank is committed to sup- porting investment at leading universities across Europe.”

“The new loan will strengthen research and learning across a broad range of disciplines here in Oxford and ensure that the University continues to be at the forefront of global research. The size of the EIB’s support, through the largest ever university loan, and that the UK is the largest recipient of EIB loans for university development reflects the expected contribution of the impressive range of capital investment being considered both here in Oxford and across the country.”

The EIB loan will help to support specialised research in the sciences at Oxford. Developments planned at the Old Road Campus include housing provision for up to 600 more scientists.

A number of new laboratories for interdisciplinary bioscience are to be constructed, and funding for further research into drug discovery at the Target Discovery Institute is planned. Following this announcement, the UK’s position as the largest beneficiary of EIB university lending has been further secured, with Oxford University receiving a particu- larly large share.

The £200 million loaned to the University alone accounts for approximately 14 per cent of the £1.45 billion in EIB loans granted to UK universities over the last five years.

The EIB also provides funds for a variety of other projects across the UK, including hospitals, renewable energy and water and sewerage infrastructure. The bank was established by the Treaty of Rome in 1958, and last year the bank’s total lending reached €77 billion. Around 10 per cent of that money is lent to non-EU countries. 

Oxford University Hospitals granted foundation trust status

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Monitor, the regulator of of NHS Services in England, has awarded Oxford University Hospitals with foundation trust status after a thorough examination of the hospital’s qual- ity of care, finances, governance and performance against national standards.

This included scrutiny by the NHS Trust Development Authority as well as the Care Quality Commission giving Oxford University Hospitals an overall rating of ‘Good’ in May last year.

John Radcliffe, Churchill, Horton, and the Nuffield Orthopaedic Centre are now free from central government control and able to decide how to improve their services.

The foundation trust also allows the hospi- tals to retain any surpluses they generate to invest in new services and borrow money to support these investments.

They are now accountable to their local communities, and students and locals will be allowed to have more of a say in the way their hospital is run, through a Council of Governors. This includes both elected and ap- pointed public and staff governors, who will play an important role in holding the Board to account.

Sir Jonathan Michael, the recently retired Chief Executive of Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, told Cherwell, “The work we have done to become a foundation trust has involved a journey of improvement that needed to happen anyway. Foun- dation trust status has been a stimulus to us to pursue this improvement but was not a destination in itself.

“Becoming a foundation trust is recognition of the work we have done to improve the quality and efficiency of our services for patients and the capability we have to continue these improvements. It also provides more local accountability through our membership and Council of Governors.

“I want to take this opportunity to thank our fantastic staff for their continued commitment to delivering high quality healthcare for all our patients. We recognise that becoming a foundation trust does not in itself solve the challenges facing us or the NHS nationwide. We will continue to focus on sustaining delivering safe and high quality care, living within our means and meeting national standards in a very difficult financial climate.”

Dame Fiona Caldicott, Chairman of Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, highlighted the benefits the change will make to services, stating, “Being a Foundation Trust will enable us to continue to improve our services by increasing the involvement of patients, staff and the local communities that we serve through our membership. It means that our Council of Governors will now play an important role in holding the Board of Di- rectors to account, appointing non-executive Directors and contributing to the strategic direction of the Trust.

“This is a most exciting event for the Trust and a vote of confidence in the achievements and capability of our staff.”

Since being granted the foundation trust status, Oxford University Hospi- tals has been named Digital Hospital of the Year. The Trust administers over 20,000 drugs every day electronically and medicine requests can be made online.

Patient information can be stored, diagnostic tests can be ordered and doctors can view results electronically. This implementation of an electronic patient record is seen to be one of the most advanced systems in the NHS and is used by more than 8,000 members of staff every day.

Dr Paul Altmann, Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust Chief Clinical Information Officer, commented, “Being awarded Digital Hospital of the Year is recognition of all the hard work that has been going on across the Trust. We implemented a number of solutions over the past few years to improve our digital strategy, including plans to take paper out of the system, improve clinical deci- sion support and make use of the rich sources of information to further transform care.

“We have advanced plans to continue to innovate and deliver a digital platform to be used to improve clinical performance, change models of care and manage care in ways which are not possible on paper.”

Jessica Prince, a second-year medic at St John’s College, told
Cherwell, “This is fantastic news as it recognises the Trust’s achievements establishing fully digital hospitals by making all patients’ medical history and care requirements available on the Trust’s electronic patient record (EPR) system.”

“Having the EPR system will enable doctors to access important patient information at all hospitals that are part of the trust. This will make diagnoses a much easier, stress-free experience for both the doctor and patient as well as helping to improve accurate recording. I am excited to see the efforts taken by Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust be implemented in other hospitals.” 

Top Four Hidden 80s Gems

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Slick Rick — “Children’s Story”

Known as “hip-hop’s greatest story-teller”, Slick Rick is at his narratorial best in “Children’s Story”. Delivered in his signature conversational style and accent (existing somewhere between cockney, Australian and Bronx), Rick spins a compelling yarn about a young kleptomaniac who tries to rob an undercover cop. The chase scene that ensues is hilarious (especially when “Daaaaaa-ve the dope fiend” lends the boy a “spanking shotgun”). Rick is quick to undercut this hilarity by having the unarmed boy shot down by the police, but then reinstates it with the two children he is reading this ‘story’ to complaining ‘Uncle Ricky is reeeeally weird’. A golden-age hip-hop classic.

 

Laurie Anderson — “O Superman (For Massenet)”

Unfairly known by many music fans as simply Lou Reed’s wife, Laurie Anderson was in fact making some of the most startlingly avant-garde pop in the 80s and 90s, long after Lou Reed’s musical endeavours had peaked. In ‘O Superman’, inspired by the aria “Ô Souverain, ô juge, ô père” from Jules Massenet’s 1885 opera Le Cid, over a repeated 1242 beats of the sound/word ‘ha’ Anderson weaves a stunning dialogue between uncertain characters. Mother, daughter, living, dead, man, woman, ‘O Superman’ is a song of universal communion.

 

Tom Tom Club — “Genius of Love”

Like Laurie Anderson, Tom Tom Club are also plagued with being associated with a more famous act. In Tom Tom Club’s case, husband and wife Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz are also members of Talking Heads. It’s only natural therefore that ‘Genius of Love’ is a brilliant synthesis of two distinctive Talking Heads styles: the rhythm-focussed material on Remain in Light (particularly ‘Born Under Punches (The Heat Goes On)’) and the beautiful melodies of ‘This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)’.

 

Bad Brains — “Pay to Cum”

Bad Brains were that oddest of hardcore punk bands. Thanks to their background in fusion jazz, their music was more versatile than any of their 4-chord peers. ‘Pay to Cum’s 1:33 features tempo changes, varying vocal harmonies, a bloody cowbell (which before James Murphy and the Rapture was actually quite the underused percussion instrument) and ends with a downstroke so loud, final and clear it’s basically an aural exclamation mark. Influencing the great (Beastie Boys) the awful (Red Hot Chilli Peppers) and every punk band in between, ‘Pay to Cum’ is Bad Brains definitive statement.

 

Roots Of: The ChicagOx House Scene

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The name ‘Bloody Knuckles’ might draw to mind the slightly sadomasochistic classroom game played with 50p pieces, but Oxford regulars will recognise it as the name of the termly night dedicated to house music. Of course, definitions have changed – Bloody Knuckles isn’t about Tomorrowland-esque big room house, as popularised by Avicii, Hardwell et al. Instead, it’s a retrospective to the music you might hear playing in, for example, a club in 80s Chicago. A club called the Warehouse, perhaps.

It’s here that the name Bloody Knuckles starts making more sense. A tribute to a man who’s often called the godfather of house music, the night is named after one Frankie Knuckles, who brought a fusion of soul, R&B, disco, and European electro to the eager ears of predominantly black, gay men who filled the members-only Warehouse wall to wall. It’s this Warehouse that is credited for giving ‘house’ music its name. Clearly, ‘Warehouse music’ was too much of a mouthful.

His eclectic mixes brought in an ever-wider crowd, attracting an audience that threatened to deprive the members of the Warehouse of a space for themselves, with the room now packed with white, straight faces. Frankie – being black and openly gay himself – sympathised, and so 1982 saw him opening up a club of his own: the Power Plant. He spent five years here, as house music exploded onto the scene. By this time, house was spreading like wildfire across America, and by the time the Power Plant closed in 1987 it had reached the far corners of the globe.

House music isn’t restricted to Frankie Knuckles, though. Ron Hardy, also a DJ in the gay scene, is often credited with pioneering the variation in samples house music is famous for. While Knuckles was playing mainly disco at the Power Plant, Hardy was mixing in samples from tapes brought to his club, The Music Box, by fans who wanted to be more involved with the music.

A celebration of all of this and more, Bloody Knuckles is a glance into the past. Three decades later, the quote from their tagline still holds true:

“How hot is house music right now?” the cameraman asks a young Frankie Knuckles. “On a scale from one to 10,” he replies, “It’s 12.”

Review: CHVRCHES – Every Open Eye

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★★★☆☆

Three Stars

Fans of CHVRCHES will find themselves at home as the first chords of ‘Never Ending Circles’ cascade into an immediately catchy opener to their 2015 album. Every Open Eye comes nearly exactly two years after the Glaswegian trio’s debut album, The Bones of What You Believe, and in the intervening two years it’s clear that they’ve taken the time to refine their sound.

It’s a confident move, indicative of a “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mindset – yet they’ve made some subtle improvements. Part of this is a delicate balancing act – the instantly recognisable bangers that’ll get played to death in Topshop are juxtaposed with the two slower tracks on the album. Martin Doherty’s sole outing as vocalist, ‘High Enough To Carry You Over’, is a soulful ballad breaking up the middle of the album, and ‘Afterglow’ lives up to its name as a dreamy comedown bringing Every Open Eye to a graceful close.

This confidence could be seen in a different light, however. Side by side, someone new to CHVRCHES wouldn’t be able to draw a distinction between this fresh outing and their debut album. Doherty may have expressed a desire not to go down the oft-tread route of a dark, brooding second album (though a listen to the lyrics in Every Open Eye might make it seem otherwise), but the alternative seems to have been that CHVRCHES have found a comfy perch atop their laurels.