Wednesday, May 14, 2025
Blog Page 1198

Hitchcock and Voyeurism

0

When audiences first watched a crazed Norman Bates rip open the shower curtains and incessantly stab a nude Janet Leigh to a myriad of chilling stringed screeches, many deserted their seats and stormed out of the cinema. The film was of course Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 landmark horror flick Psycho, and it remains one of his most acclaimed works of cinema. But what was it that horrified audiences so wretchedly? There is no visible nudity – rigorous censorship made sure of that – and we never see the knife touch, let alone penetrate, a single shred of skin. In fact, when one watches the film now it seems incredibly tame. So why did audiences feel so uncomfortable? It’s a simple but revealing explanation. Hitchcock forced them into a position in which they simply did not want to be – the position of voyeur.

As far back as ancient Greek tragedies, it was customary for horrific or violent deeds to take place “offstage”. Indeed, Roman poet Horace quipped in his Ars Poetica that although “the mind is less actively stimulated by what it takes through the ear than by what is presented to it through the trustworthy agency of the eyes”, gruesome acts such as Medea butchering her children or Atreus cooking his dish of human flesh should never take place “within public view”. It was a rejection of scopophilia, but a simultaneous acknowledgement of its power. There was something undignified and gratuitous about attempting to display violence right in front of the audience’s eyes. Not only were they unlikely to show it particularly effectively, but it was also not what the audience had come to see. As a voyeur, audiences somehow feel complicit in the events onscreen. With Pyscho’s infamous shower scene, Hitchcock thrust his audience into directly witnessing something that may just as well have taken place off-screen, or through a silhouette or some other suggestive technique. The audience are instead rendered as helpless and tragically vulnerable as poor Marion Crane herself: stripped down, holding up their hands in protest, screaming in vain.

Hitchcock pioneered a camera that represented the eye of the audience. Rather than watching all the action from a distance, like a play, the audience are granted their own position within the action itself. They are a character, in many ways. In particular, Hitchcock’s cameras often work as an individual’s point of view. In Vertigo (1958), for example, we experience Scottie’s acrophobia firsthand when the camera meanders and distorts via the dolly-zoom when at a great height. In Rear Window (1954), our vision is eclipsed by florescent bright flashes signifying the temporary blindness caused by the flashbulbs to Thorwald. It also allows us to pick up on things that other characters do not notice, such as when it zooms slowly in on Marion’s wad of stolen money in the motel room whilst Norman attempts to clean up the crime scene in Psycho. It is only natural that this special point of view acquired by the audience comes with its own advantages and disadvantages, liberties and limits. The boundaries are blurred between diegetic and non-diegetic audience involvement. The audience, as a voyeur, must take care with what they “choose” to see.

There is a prevailing obsession with voyeurism running throughout Hitchcock’s oeuvre. He knew that human beings have a fascination with watching. We are naturally nosy, curious, intrusive in our daily existence. This is demonstrated no better than through James Stewart’s protagonist in Rear Window. Finding himself crippled and bored, a man resorts to spying on his neighbours with a pair of trusted binoculars and the zoom of his camera, spinning a web of speculations and accusations from what he takes in through his subjective eyes. It’s also worth noting that the man is a photographer – he literally makes his living from observing with his eager lens. The opening passage of Christopher Isherwood’s 1939 novel Goodbye to Berlin comes to mind, when the meta-narrator declares, “I am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking.” Hitchcock confines his audiences to a similar disposition. We are able to look, but not touch. From the safety of our seats, we watch the narrative unfold, except there is one key difference between Hitchcock’s audience and Isherwood’s narrator – Hitchcock wants us to think. As L.B. Jefferies watches his neighbours, he cannot help but make judgements and conclusions about their lives. Hitchcock knows that his audience will inevitably be forced to do the same.

But Hitchcock also knew of the darker side of voyeurism. Jefferies does, after all, become dangerously swept up in the illicit affairs of his neighbour through his scopophilia. This voyeuristic prospect is so compelling that it was adapted 50 years later into a loose remake called Disturbia (2007) with Shia LaBeouf. Norman Bates too exercises his own fetishisation of voyeurism to disastrous results. Before Marion Crane enters the shower, Norman removes a painting from the wall to reveal a peephole, through which he watches her undress. This is creepy to say the least, and Gus Van Sant in his 1998 remake capitalised on this creepiness to the full, having Norman masturbate as he peers at Marion’s body. Hitchcock plays too with his characters’ awareness of their own entrapment in a voyeuristic society. What is paranoia, after all, if not the fear of being watched, of being scrutinized, manipulated, and laughed at? Paranoia in film is a blacked out window – the fourth wall between character and audience. The characters are the victims, the audience are the watchers. North by Northwest (1959) is a prime example of this. Just as Roger Thornhill cannot see the sadistic pilot of the crop duster in the infamous scene in the cornfield, Hitchcock’s characters are often overwrought with a sense of being personally victimised and spied upon by unseen forces. More often than not, these forces turn out to be us, the audience.

What Hitchcock’s voyeurism established was a camera that never leaves its subjects alone – a camera that never hides behind bushes or pans to euphemistic shots of the ocean during lovemaking – a camera not afraid to show the audience exactly what is happening. As well as granting the audience a new role in the watching of cinema, he also opened the floodgates for what could be shown on screen, being somewhat bold and liberal with his prevailing themes of sex and violence. Of course, Hitchcock worked in a world far more heavily dominated by censorship than the cinema of today, but his influence has been invaluable. When Sharon Stone slowly opened her legs in Basic Instinct (1992), revealing her – erm – lack of underwear, she created one of the most infamously erotic scenes of modern cinema. The camera does not shy away from Miss Stone’s vulva; instead, we see exactly what the detectives in the room see, and thus we are just as shocked and uncomfortable as they are.

Alejandro González Iñárritu’s Birdman undoubtedly owes its innovative “eternal” camera techniques to Mr. Hitchcock as well. The camera (and thus the audience) become a inquisitive and curious backstage presence, following the action wherever it leads. Birdman is an example of pure cinematic voyeurism – the camera literally cannot stop watching people for a single moment. It is even scared to blink. We see his influence in the point of view shots of Michael Myers in Halloween (1978), and even the eponymous shark’s beady perspective in Jaws (1975).

Moreover, we must ask if a film as “racy” and explicit as Fifty Shades of Grey could have ever been made without Hitchcock’s audacious smashing down of the barrier between the eyes of the audience and the eye of the camera. There is practically nothing in modern cinema that would now be deemed “unshowable”. The audience – as voyeurs – are trusted with the all-seeing camera lens. To attempt to allude or to hide things from the audience is to patronise them and to be untruthful to the events of the film. It isn’t about showing nudity or violence gratuitously, it’s about trusting the audience with the nature of the material and – moreover – indulging the inherently human fascination with watching other people’s lives, and for that we must unreservedly thank Mr Hitchcock.

Recipe of the Week: Mushroom Stroganoff

0

Now that Hilary term has finished and most of us have headed home for Easter, it’s the perfect time to relax, rewind, and raid your parents’ kitchens.  Mama may have made your favourite for your first night back, but she doesn’t have the time to cook your every meal till May, and learning some new dishes that you can’t make in the average underequipped student kitchen is an excellent method of procrastination.  I’d recommend this modern classic while the last of the winter chill is still with us, because, seriously, who has nutmeg in their student flat?

What You Need:
900g mixed mushrooms (e.g. button, chestnut, shiitake if you’re fancy), roughly sliced

10g dried porcini mushrooms
275ml dry white wine (not Tesco’s Own please)
2-3 peeled onions
75g butter
200ml crème fraîche
a large pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
salt and pepper

Method:

1. Start by heating up the wine in a small saucepan until it just starts to simmer, then take it off the heat and leave the porcini mushrooms in it to soak. 

2. Slice the onions as halves and separate the segments into semi-circle strips, and melt 2/3 of the butter in a frying pan (pick one with a lid, but don’t put it on yet).  Toss the onions around in it till they soften, then take them out and put them aside in a bowl or plate, making sure to leave as much butter in the pan as you can.

3. Divide the rest of the mushrooms roughly into three groups, and turn the heat up high on the pan.  Fry each mushroom group one at a time till they brown, adding them all to the onions as you go.  Keep adding butter to the pan as is necessary.

4. Once you’re done, put all these browned mushrooms and soft onions back in the pan.  Drain the wine from the saucepan into the frying pan, then chop the porcinis and add them too.  Add salt and pepper for seasoning, put the lid on the pan and leave it to gently simmer at a low heat for half an hour. 

5.  When you come back to it, take it off the heat and add the crème fraîche and nutmeg.  Put it back on the heat till it’s hot (but not bubbling!) and serve with plain rice.

Fencing Club caught off-guard in Varsity

0

You couldn’t tell over the gentle snoring of freshers, but anticipation was building as a bus full of Dark Blues fencers descended upon Cambridge at the crack of dawn on Saturday March 7th.

A highlight of the fencing year, the 108th Varsity Match was to take place for the first time in the Guildhall, Cambridge’s town hall. Whist far removed from the grand Exams Schools that hosts the Oxford leg of Varsity, the Guildhall was a step up from the cold and uninspiring Engineering Schools of previous years. After being thoroughly shown up by Oxford for several years it seemed the Tabs had finally lifted their game; hopefully their fencing was up to scratch.

As always there were two pistes, on opposite sides of the hall, with the Light Blues down one end and the Dark Blues the other. A battle of both fencing and cheering unfolded; an airhorn made an appearance in several dark blue hands, with many ears no doubt still ringing from its liberal use. The Blues matches were streamed live online for the second time in Varsity history.

The morning saw the Women’s Blues and Men’s Assassins face off against Cambridge. Women’s Blues Captain Harriet Dixon had given a truly rousing pre-match speech that saw the epee team give their best performance of the season, only narrowly losing in the final fight. A loss in the foil momentarily dampened their spirits, however, they rallied and ended the match with a one hit victory in the Sabre; a truly dramatic finish. The Men’s Assassins had a battle the whole way through. Ending up on the back foot out of the sabre, they were unable to claw their way back into the fight over the foil and epee.

A sunny Cambridge afternoon saw the Men’s Blues and Women’s Assassins take the piste. A tense sabre match left the Light Blues ahead in the Men’s. Despite a promising start in the foil, Cambridge edged away in the latter half leaving Oxford in a desperate place heading into the epee. The team was unable to match Cambridge’s intensity and the Men’s Blues had to say goodbye to the giant trophy won in 2014. The Women’s Assassins suffered a similar fate to the Men’s Assassins, ending up behind and unable to recover despite a strong performance from all team members, including some newly recruited pentathletes.

[mm-hide-text]%%IMG%%11316%%[/mm-hide-text] 

A tough day for the Dark Blues, it will be a long wait until revenge in the Exam Schools. However, in true OUFC style, the ordeals of the day were quickly forgotten as the team enjoyed the annual Varsity dinner with their Light Blue rivals before demonstrating prolific skills in boat racing and late night dancing!

 

St Benet’s to admit female undergraduates

0

St Benet’s Hall is coming closer to admitting female undergraduates for the first time in its 118 year history, after preparing to take on a second site in Norham Gardens, which is currently owned by the Society of the Sacred Heart.

The Master of St Benet’s Hall, Professor Werner Jeanrond, explained, “St Benet’s Hall has already accepted female graduate students. The acquisition of this building will enable the Hall to admit female undergraduates and go fully co-ed. Equality is written into the University’s strategic plan and we are now committed to raising the funds needed to make the next move happen.”

Professor Jeanrond, who is also a member of Oxford University’s Theology and Religion Faculty, further commented to Cherwell, “Everybody in St Benet’s Hall is delighted that we have finally identified a building that would allow us to admit female students for the academic year 2016 – 2017, and offer us much needed additional space for teaching, research and administration. We have been working for this for a long time and are so happy that we are now getting there.

“The new building is for mixed occupation; for both male and female students, and offers around twenty rooms. We normally admit approximately 18 undergraduates per year. Our graduate students are offered space in the University accommodation at Wellington Square.”

St Benet’s was founded in 1897 as a place for the monks of Ampleforth Abbey and other monasteries to live in while reading for Oxford degrees and became a Permanent Private Hall in 1918. Subjects which may be studied at St Benet’s Hall include History, Classics, Oriental Studies, PPE and Theology. 

The Society of the Sacred Heart is an international order of women in the Catholic Church, and has been located on the site in Norham Gardens since 1932. The Society has been working to further the education of women in Oxford and beyond. Through working with St Benet’s Hall, the Society of the Sacred Heart is helping to achieve this goal, even though the Sisters are about to withdraw from Oxford.

Sister Jane Maltby, the Provincial of the England-Wales Province of the Society of the Sacred Heart, commented, “Although we are sad to be leaving Oxford after over eighty years of supporting women’s higher education, the Benedictine spirit of community and commitment to education will further the aspirations we have always striven to achieve.”

Ed Sparrow, a current undergraduate at St. Benet’s Hall, told Cherwell,”Getting the extra building is obviously an important step towards admitting female undergraduates, but we still need to get the money for that which is the biggest obstacle at the moment.

“As for getting girls it would obviously change the nature of the hall quite a lot – most likely for the better but not definitely.”

 

Weston Library stages public opening

0

The Weston Library staged its public opening on Saturday 21st March, after a three year refurbishment, costing £80 million.

The work has transformed what was the New Bodleian on Broad Street into a state of the art library, with a café, shop, lecture theatre, digital displays and exhibition galleries. This includes their leading exhibition, Marks of Genius: Masterpieces from the Collections of the Bodleian Libraries, which contains world-famous items from the Bodleian’s exclusive collections, such as one of their engrossments of the Magna Carta.

The New Bodleian’s building had been deteriorating for some time and there was concern about the threat to the condition of some of its most valuable artefacts. London-based Wilkinson Eyre architects retained the historical exterior of Giles Gilbert Scott’s Grade II listed building while modernising the interior, converting it into a twenty-first century centre of research, study, digitisation and conservation.

Bodley’s Librarian Richard Ovenden said, “This project has been an amazing opportunity to transform an unloved library building at the heart of Oxford, and to support the needs of the University long into the future. In a city full of libraries, it is one of the most significant and exciting library transformations for many years.

“We are particularly delighted to be able to welcome the public into the Weston Library, to help them appreciate and enjoy the collections built up in the University over centuries, and to engage with the ground-breaking research which surrounds these collections in Oxford. We are immensely grateful to all the donors and funders who have supported this tremendous project, particularly the Garfield Weston Foundation and Oxford University Press for their inspirational donations.”

The library includes refurbished reading rooms, which are all equipped with the new ‘Bodleian Chair’. This was designed by Edward Barber and Jay Osgerby, the winners of a national competition. The chair is a three-legged oak chair which tilts forwards and backwards, built by Isokon Plus.

The Centre for Digital Scholarship in the Weston Library hosts technological research, while the Visiting Scholar’s Centre invites international scholars to carry out their research. Scientists and librarians are working together to help unveil new information about the artefacts held by the Bodleian Libraries.

The newly opened library will stock the Bodleian Libraries’ special collections. This includes archives, music, manuscripts, rare books, ephemera and maps including the largest collection of pre-1500 printed books in a university library from medieval Europe and the Byzantine Empire. It also houses one of the largest concentrations of modern British political manuscripts and a copy of Plato’s complete works in Greek, given to Elizabeth I by the Chancellor of the University of Oxford in 1564.

With donations from Oxford University Press, the Garfield Weston Foundation and the President of Blackwell’s Bookshop, the project was able to largely keep to their budget of £78 million.

Anna Lewis, a Biochemist undergraduate told Cherwell, “The combination of a historic exterior with a modern working library is part of what the University is all about – keeping up with the cutting edge of research without losing the history and tradition that has brought us here. It sounds like a really useful facility for students and I’m really excited to use it as a study space.”

The opening weekend also sees the launch of the Oxford Literary Festival, in which the Bodleian Libraries is a Cultural Partner, with the Weston Library hosting many of its events over the nine days from Saturday 21st March. For information on the Marks of genius exhibition visit http://genius.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/.

 

6 Songs That Will Show Your Mum How Cool You’ve Become

0

I did nothing for Mother’s day this year, just like every year. Most likely you did nothing too. So I’ve concocted a mother’s day tribute list, although like the itinerant son I am, I’ve done it a bit late. Here are the 6 songs you can use to show your mum that now you’ve gone to university and got a bit cool, you don’t need her anymore.

 “What’s that mum? Oh yeah I’d love a cup of tea. Cheers”

 1. I Really Like You – Carly Rae Jepsen

 

Watch your mum shudder at the abrasive, candy-coated brilliance of this absolute banger. Play it repeatedly. Refer to it as an ‘absolute banger’ repeatedly. Don’t explain what ‘banger’ means. “What’s that? No mum, it’s nothing like ‘Get Lucky’. Yes, I know you liked Get Lucky. No, we can’t have Get Lucky.”

 

2. Hey Darling – Sleater Kinney

Don’t let the fact that this is basically just a bit of high quality AM rock stop you from intimidating your mum. Even if your mum’s a feminist, there’s no way she’s a proper feminist, like Sleater Kinney are. Talk to her about intersectionality. Talk to her Cuntry Living, and emphasise the pun. You are now more political than she ever was, and you’ve read the blogs to prove it. Let her know.

 

3. The Blacker the Berry – Kendrick Lamar

 

‘Hold on Mum – you’re not a racist, are you?’

 

5. All Day – Kanye West

 

“Kanye West is, unquestionably the greatest musician of the 21st century”. You don’t have to believe it; you just have to say it. It’s important that your mum knows she no longer has a say in popular taste. This is your world, she’s just living in it.

 

6. Never Forget – Take That

 

Let her have this one. Here’s why: you know that job you’re going to get when you graduate? Well, the thing is, you’re not going to get it. Because graduate jobs are about as real as the big cats your Uncle Stew claims live out on the moor. So you’ll either be doing a masters, weeping into your books and listening to the Take That record you actually liked all along, or more likely, you’re moving back in, and listening to it with your mum. Just like you did before you ‘got all Oxford’.

 

Sorry mate. 

How not to talk to grown ups: Ian McEwan’s The Children Act

0

How it feels to not be able to communicate is a hard thing to communicate, but Ian McEwan has made a career out of doing so. His plots sprint off from where his characters’ conversations stumble into misunderstanding. Partially, these misunderstandings are the result of the particular kind of Englishness his characters generally possess; it is the kind of Englishness which takes its dog for a walk after finding its wife has been unfaithful, the kind which screws up the love letters it has been writing all afternoon. The first sentence of his 2007 novel On Chesil Beach illustrates this superbly: ‘They were young, educated, and both virgins on this, their wedding night, and they lived in a time when a conversation about sexual difficulties was plainly impossible.’ Yet McEwan’s characters are also unable to speak their minds because they do not know their minds, nor their hearts; only McEwan, with his shrewd Freudian eye, and his pen tracing their most repressed thoughts, knows what really motivates them. Even the tightest lid will let off steam, and no matter how emotionally hunched up these characters are they never succeed in battening down their unconscious urges for long. Reading McEwan’s best books we vaguely forebode the character’s coming crisis, but cannot predict what form it will take; we are surprised by how it happens, not by its happening.

Unfortunately his latest book, The Children Act, is not one of those books. It is a slim novel, standing on its tip toes so as not to be categorized as a novella, which concerns a few months in the life of Fiona Maye, a high court judge whose husband leaves her for a younger (and, it quickly turns out, uninterested) woman, and whose professional life swamps her private life with a series of morally perplexing court cases. The plot begins just as Fiona’s husband tells her he wants to have an affair, but from here it expands chronologically in both directions, digressing to a court case several weeks past concerning two Jewish children whose father wants to shield them from a modern education, and progressing forwards towards a case to give a grievously ill Jehova’s Witness a blood transfusion, against his parents’ wishes.

‘Digressing’ might seem a needlessly negative word, but the way in which the plot wades into Fiona’s past makes it unwieldy. McEwan ballasts every halting progression in time with pages and pages of flashback-exposition. This is irritating, especially as McEwan has previously shown how supplely and economically he can convey the conditions which formed his characters’ personality. When reading his 1990 novel The Innocent we learn how sheltered the main character’s life has been so far from the first wry sentence in which he is mentioned: ‘Leonard Marnham, an employee of the Post Office, had never actually met an American to talk to, but he had studied them in depth at his local Odeon.’ In The Children Act, McEwan is rarely so tersely brilliant, because he does not trust the reader to be so discerning.

Every novel has a hypothetical implied reader – the kind of reader who is just discerning enough to understand why the author has written what is written and not otherwise. The implied reader of Finnegan’s Wake is an anal-retentive genius with an attention span of twenty years and an encyclopedic knowledge of a dozen languages and three thousand years of literature. He is, in other words, James Joyce himself. The implied reader of The Children Act, by comparison, is a humble figure. In fact, he’s a bit dim. He needs things to be explained to him, all of the time. Which is good, because that’s exactly what McEwan’s narrator does – all of the time.

So often, when his character’s feelings are made perfectly clear by what they say and how they act, he burdens his prose with unnecessary explication. ‘I’m not the one about to wreck our marriage’, Fiona retorts to her husband’s attempt to shift the blame, to which he responds ‘so you say.’ That this is an attempt to exploit her insecurities is needless to say– but McEwan does say so, at length. Her husband, he writes, ‘said it reasonably, projecting the three words deep into the cave of her self-doubt, shaping them to her inclination to believe that in any conflict as embarrassing as this, she was likely to be wrong.’ This tells us nothing that hasn’t already been implied, and the metaphor of the cave is ill chosen. McEwan uses it because caves are generally empty. But Fiona’s self-doubts are not cave-like, they are not a vessel to be filled; they themselves fill her mind to the point of overflowing. In fact, the story itself progresses through their overflow into her public life. This passage is not a one off –McEwan’s narrator is always barging in on the tenderest of scenes, third-wheeling on lovers and mourners, with his impromptu lectures and his cack-handed metaphors.

McEwan also seems to be under the impression that we are unable to remember what he wrote five pages ago. This is no exaggeration: on page 140 he tells us ‘Teenage visits to her Newcastle cousins had been her only adventures’, then on page 145, ‘She had a history with Newcastle and felt at ease here. In her teens she had come several times.’ I imagine any goldfish who happen to pick up The Children Act will find this kind of repetition helpful. But humans are likely to find it annoying.

Yet in its favour, Children Act does present us with a set of characters who are imaginably human. This has always been McEwan’s forte, and his ability to do so shows no sign of waning. The only caveat I would place on this judgement is that Fiona seems too conveniently able to articulate her feelings; this too is a way in which McEwan mollycoddles the reader. The plot of The Children Act advances in such a way as to make Fiona, and by extension the reader, question the supremacy of her atheistic belief system above other such systems. In real life, we do a great deal of our thinking about such questions as this without realising we are doing so. Changing one’s religious or political beliefs is not something which happens in an instant. About these matters there are no Demascene moments; there are only moments when we realise we have already changed our minds. This is especially true of people who, like Fiona, would rather not have to bother thinking about such humongous questions, who would rather their lives were not complicated by their own emotions. At the bedside of the ill, devout, and portentously named Adam, Fiona realises that ‘Religions, moral systems, her own included, were like peaks in a dense mountain range seen from a great distance, none obviously higher, more important, truer than another’. This realisation is too unanticipated to be believable, which is especially a shame because, as mentioned earlier, McEwan has previously done a brilliant job of making developments in his characters both surprising and concordant with their pasts. Here McEwan obviously intends to express Fiona’s own feelings through the third person, rather than the thoughts of some distant, omniscient narrator, but these same feelings are so neatly and articulately expressed that they read as if they were the narrator’s. Such moments break our suspension of disbelief, and remind us that she is, in fact, just a fictional construct.

I finished The Children Act asking the question no author ever wants their readers to ask: is this bad novel just a blip, or does it represent a more general decline in its writer’s artistic powers? I don’t know, but the irritating aspects of this book are not new to McEwan’s work. His nannyish attitude towards the reader, his need to calibrate the entire plot towards the conveyance of an ideological point, and deleterious effect of these faults on his characterisations, have been present in his writing at least since 2007’s On Chesil Beach. McEwan has much affection for the reader but less respect. For this reason, The Children Act is not likely to inspire the reader with much respect for him, either.

The vac to-do list

0

Ah, and so we made it. Another eight weeks of non-stop madness. That is to say, a serious lack of sleep, an overload of essays (sugar + caffeine, we thank you) and one too many post-bop hangovers. Well, we did it. We’re still here – cue Beyoncé’s I’m a Survivor – and we haven’t annoyed our tutors that much.  And so the vac has finally come. If you are a humanities student, like myself, then I’m sure you have the absolute pleasure of reading [insert impossible number here] books before April.  Nevertheless, since it is the holiday that can most definitely wait. During term, there are always ‘tasks’ to do, but what about during the vac? ‘Tasks’ is a rather unfavourable word. There are, however, some necessary ‘criteria’ to get the most out of the vac….

  1. HIJACK THE FAMILY FRIDGE. Term time = student kitchen = gone off milk and perhaps some left over cereal for breakfast. Come the vacation, the fridge is well stocked, mum/dad’s the cook and you don’t have to pay. If there was ever an excuse to feast like a Roman this is it.
  2. MEET UP WITH OLD FRIENDS. There’s nothing quite like having a proper catch up with your friends from home, allowing you to vent any uni stress and reminisce over THAT guy you used to ‘fancy’…
  3. MAKE THE MOST OF WHERE YOU LIVE. Londoner? Take a trip to Selfridges and treat yourself to afternoon tea with the ma. Live in the countryside? There’s nothing like a walk in the fresh air to clear the mind. Situated in a town or village? Grab some mates and visit that local pub/restaurant you’ve been meaning to go to but never got round to. Embrace your surroundings!
  4. WARDROBE CLEAR OUT. Maybe this is just because I love clothes (so much so that I end up keeping virtually everything I own, no matter how old….). These six weeks are the perfect time to have a complete wardrobe clear out, keeping only the clothes that you actually intend on wearing.
  5. CATCH UP ON NETFLIX. With time on our hands, why wouldn’t you spend a whole day in bed watching just about every episode of Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones?
  6. DENTIST/OPTICIAN/HAIR CUT APPOINTMENT. Okay admittedly a bit of an uncool one, but during term time who seriously has the time to book an eye test when you are literally up to your eyes (pardon the pun) in work? The holiday is the perfect time to get this type of nagging thing sorted.

And finally…

7. SLEEP. A pretty obvious one and by this time in the vac, probably something you have already done a lot of. Well sleep some more. Become a cat. Cat nap. Make up for all those boozy 3am nights. Scientists – lie in! Enjoy the luxury of not having those 9am lectures. If you do nothing else this holiday make sure to sleep.

 Thank you and good night.

Oxford Men’s Blues Regain Football Varsity Title

0

New season, same scenario. Or at least that’s how it seemed at the football Varsity matches on the 8th of March. Played once again at R Costings Abbey, the Cambridge United stadium, a similar sequence of events as last year unfolded, as the game was decided in a dramatic penalty shootout.

This was the fifth resort to spot kicks in the last nine Varsity matches. The closeness of the matches in recent years has been borne out by the neck-and-neck positions in wins Oxford and Cambridge hold. The Dark Blues now possess a narrow lead of 51 victories to 49 with 31 draws.

Played out in front of over 1300 spectators, the match was a pretty gripping affair from the start. Close passing by both teams and tight defensive play ensured a progression to a penalty shootout was a fair reflection of the tension between the Blues teams.

It was a close contest from kick-off, starting off at a fast pace with Oxford quickly coming close to taking the lead when Cambridge defender Richard Wostenhulme’s wayward pass headed clearance from an Oxford cross striking his own bar and nearly gifting Oxford an early goal. The Oxford Blues kept up the pressure for much of the first half with Cambridge only being able to break on the counter-attack.

However, Oxford failed to take advantage on their more impressive first half display as it was Cambridge who opened the scoring a little before half time. It was on a counter-attack that Cambridge managed to score with the Oxford goalkeeper Ben Szreter being unable to stop Daniel Forde scoring after a flowing movement which saw Cambridge midfielder James May put Forde through by capitalising on Oxford’s lax defending.

Cambridge doggedly held onto this lead well into the second half of the match with the first half hour being played in a similar fashion to the first, with Oxford continuing to press far into the Cambridge half but with the Light Blues defending capably and threatening on the break. It is a testament to the Cambridge defence that the breakthrough that Oxford desperately needed came by way of a set piece rather than in open play. In the 75th minute Oxford were awarded a free kick to the left of the penalty box which Oxford captain Ezra Rubenstein stepped up to take. Rubenstein’s free kick ended up in the Cambridge goal without a deflection and levelled the match at a crucial time.

The remaining 15 minutes saw each side reluctant to gift valuable opportunities away to the other side with so little time left and so the pace of the game dropped slightly as safety replaced aggression as the priority of both teams.

The score stayed at 1-1 after 90 minutes and so it left to a penalty shoot-out to decide the winner of the 131st Varsity match. The penalty shoot-out was as close at the game itself with both Cambridge and Oxford scoring 4 of their first 5 penalties to ensure this intense game finished in the most dramatic fashion with a sudden-death penalty shoot-out. At 6-5 to Oxford, Cambridge defender Preye Crooks stood up to take the vital penalty. However, Cambridge-born Oxford goalkeeper Ben Szretes saved the spot-kick and thus gave the Dark Blues their first victory in 4 years.

This was a fitting climax to a match which reflected the competitive history of the Varsity match and sets the stage perfectly for another dramatic encounter next year. 

Rowing Round-Up Hilary 2015

0

The rowing scene this term has been in overdrive with strong performances from all the university squads and fierce competition at home on the Isis. Torpids this year was by many accounts the most action packed in a while with only three klaxons from forty-four divisions leading to lots of racing. On the first day of racing alone over two thirds of crews bumped! A record 31 crews achieved blades.

Moving outside the Oxford bubble Isis have been moving from strength to strength with a strong performance at Reading University Head where they put in a time close to that of Oxford Brookes’ top boat which, rumour has it, were a similar speed to the top Cambridge boat in match races the previous week. An impressive result for a boat containing no less than three freshers. Combined with a similar result in November the results so far suggest that the river should be running dark blue on the 11th of April.

The Dark Blue women have also been out in force winning the Elite and Senior categories at the Quintin Head where Cambridge did not race. A sprinkling of rowing maths suggests that the OUWBC reserve crew Osiris would be in touching distance of the Cambridge blue boat with the Oxford blue boat winning by some margin. The stage is set for the women to bring in a strong win on their first race over the Tideway course.

8th week sprung up some surprises in the college-rowing scene with the qualifying battles for the Henley Boat Races taking place on the 5th of April in Henley-on-Thames. Both headship crews were defeated by challengers from lower down the table. Oriel, ranked 2nd on the river, marched to a strong victory over the men’s headship crew Pembroke at Dorney Lake and Green Templeton women sneaked a one second win over headship crew Wadham racing on the Isis. All the data from the season so far points at 2015 potentially being Oxford’s first clean sweep in the collegiate races.

[mm-hide-text]%%IMG_ORIGINAL%%11313%%[/mm-hide-text] 

Sticking with the theme of the Henley Boat Races the lightweight squads have also had a strong showing so far. Tethys, the lightweight women’s reserve crew, acquitted themselves strongly with a top 75 finish at the women’s Head of the River race with the blue boat no doubt even faster. The lightweight men’s team has recorded success at the Wallingford and Henley head races as well as a commanding display at Trial 8s over the winter vac. Whilst on training camp in Holland, returning lightweight Blue, Rowan Arthur, said that the squad “are confident about our preparations and crew” in the run up to the big day. This sentiment was echoed by teammate Alec Trigger who said he was “hoping to contribute to a dark blue whitewash”.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record 2015 really is shaping up to be the year the river runs dark blue through and through. Cherwell will be running live coverage of all the boat races this vac and if you want to check out the action first hand head over to Henley on the 5th of April for the Lightweight and Collegiate boat races and the Thames on the 11th for the grand spectacle. Alternatively keep in touch with the action on Twitter @CherwellSport.