Wednesday 16th July 2025
Blog Page 1203

Confessions of a student chef: Alys Key

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Although it may be Spring, there are still the odd evenings where I fancy something warming and homely for dinner. This week, I made a stew in honour of that fabled other newspaper, the OxStu (hence the name – there are no products of oxen in this recipe though I’m sure you could add some if you so desired). I suppose I thought being a former editor might give me the magic ability to make this OxStew, but it turns out this was not the case.

After throwing together some mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, leeks, potatoes and herbs, my efforts yielded a distinctly sloppy-looking dish which was rather more watery than I had hoped.

The moral of the story is that a modicum of planning is required in most cooking, even for completely made-up, journalism-related recipes. Fortunately I could count on my favourite two things to rescue this meal: alcohol and carbohydrates. Whilst simmering the stew, I added an unreasonably large dash of red wine, which just always improves the flavour. Then I served it alongside a big piece of crusty bread, which soaked up the excess nicely, and more red wine. Less of an OxStew, more of an OxSoup, but tasty nonetheless. Next time I make it, I may even add more wine.

Recipe of the week: Sweet Onion Tart

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Light but confidently carby, this tart is cheap as dirt to make and a refreshing alternative to Pot Noodle and pasta. All the ingredients should be available in your nearest supermarket. Serves 6.

Ingredients:
50g self-raising flour
50g wholemeal flour
½ teaspoon mustard powder
100g butter
50g cheese (Cheddar is best)
3 large onions, diced
2 eggs, beaten
100ml milk

Method:

1. Preheat oven to 180°C. Mix the flours, mustard, 50g butter, and a pinch of salt with 40g grated cheese and a dash or two of water to make dough then put in a plastic bag in your fridge.

2. Melt the leftover butter in a pan, with the onions. Leave them on a medium heat for 30 minutes, tossing them so they become evenly chocolate brown.

3. Line a tart tin with your pastry. Bake this for 15 minutes, coat the inside with beaten egg, and put back in for five. Whisk the remaining egg with milk and seasoning. Put the onions in the pastry and gradually add this liquid, keeping it hot, then cover with cheese and bake for 30 minutes.

Ready, Steady, Cook! Sainsbury’s Macaroni

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★★★☆☆

Three stars

I’m no vegetarian, but I admit I am an absolute sucker for macaroni. This weakness of mine may have influenced my decision to choose Sainsbury’s macaroni cheese for this review, giving me the impossible task of summing up macaroni within a word limit. The packaging suggests that the best way to prepare it is to microwave for four minutes. However, as I consider myself a terrible, but willing chef, I oven baked it for 20 minutes instead.

My first bite of the meal was a not-so-cheesy piece of pasta, but this was my fault for choosing a very crunchy-looking piece. Despite this initial moment of despair, I’d consider it to be a good macaroni; the sauce is very creamy. It lacks any form of seasoning, but if you ask me, the whole point of macaroni is to be a simple meal. It is certainly filling and satisfying for the cost, but it contains no arguably healthy ingredient, so on that note, I am off to go and eat an apple.

Review: Peppers Burgers

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As I approached this burger joint on Walton Street in Jericho, I couldn’t help but be struck by the incongruity between the neat, upmarket minimalism of most of the bistros and delis I’d just passed and the stoner paradise I’d had so strongly recommended to me, by a stoner, shockingly. This is not necessarily a negative: the backwards clock, holographic images and mind warp poster provided great amusement as I queued to order, though I found the large picture of a pizza particularly perplexing, since they don’t sell them.

Despite this, their menu is impressively varied: they offer at least three different kinds of meat, as well as a decent and not from-frozen vegetarian option, as either quarter or half pounders. You are encouraged by graphic neon chalk art on a blackboard above the counter to pick two of the long list of sauces available for your burger, which included alongside the classics some more adventurous options, like tandoori, horseradish, and white shark. I was childishly hoping that the latter was actually made from white sharks, in spite of my PETA-ish leanings, but was informed by my laughing stoner friend that it is just a very hot, hot sauce. I eventually decided on blue cheese and ketchup and returned to staring at the mind warp poster.

When it came to ordering, our server was calm and friendly, entirely unfazed by the bustle of customers on our side of the counter. My friend realised he’d been too busy enjoying the posters to actually pick something, but our grinning server assured him that he had “all the time in the world, man”. Fortunately, it didn’t take that long, and we squeezed into the wooden chairs between the counter and the window and watched as another guy took fresh-made burgers from the display and slapped them on the grill. It was a longer wait than you’d get at most chain fast food places for a burger, but I don’t mind waiting a little longer for cooked-to-order, good food, especially when it’s as cheaply priced as Peppers was.

When the burgers arrived, I found the mushrooms I had asked for as a topping were conspicuously absent, meaning I can only speculate about how well they would have gone with the blue cheese sauce (bitterly, I suspect the answer is very well). Instead, I had been given onions and jalapeños, which were at least very easy to pick out. I was impressed with both the quality and quantity of salad in the burgers, despite the mix up, especially considering I didn’t even have to pay extra. We decided to have them as take out; the wooden chairs were actually more comfortable than they looked, but the combination of customer traffic and blaring 90s shit-hop and school disco bangers somewhat dampened the burger bar experience.

Although not the best burger I’ve ever had, it effortlessly surpasses anything in its price bracket and is considerably better than anything from a supermarket. The range of fresh and largely healthy toppings was a nice touch, and really made it worth the walk to Jericho.

Bar Review: Linacre

★☆☆☆☆

One star

In the interest of full disclosure, severe disorganisation meant I found myself desperately trawling Oxford, alone, in -1st Week, searching for any open college bar I might be able to sneak into. After two hours of walking around spookily empty colleges, and finding nothing but locked doors and grumpy porters, I began to pity those students stranded among the spires outside of term. But the Bar Review Team is nothing if not committed, and I eventually found refuge in Linacre, a small graduate college tucked away in the shadow of that monstrosity of a building they call the Zoology Department.

My first thought was that this was no bar at all, but merely some old lady’s living room with a bar thrown in the middle. With horrible orange walls and a frankly bizarre layout, it could equally be mistaken for the set of a student production of Abigail’s Party. Linacre provides ample evidence of why bars should never, I repeat, never double as common rooms. Though I must concede the plethora of seating – including some extremely comfortable sofas – and surprisingly good sound system were impressive. There is also table football and darts behind the bar, for those so inclined.

The drinks selection was certainly better than what I have come to expect from student-run bars, with a particularly pleasing array of beers, all offered at standard college bar prices. I think it would be fair to say the students running the bar offer a friendly but no-frills service. My pint was well poured, yet upon asking for a spirit mixer, I was handed two shots of rum in a branded pint glass and a can of coke on the side. Half of the spirits on offer were actually hidden out of sight of the punters, which seems a completely unnecessary flaw. They don’t sell a signature drink – perhaps graduate students are just too ‘mature’ for such things?

I have to hand it to them, though, the bar was busy for the entire evening, especially for a Monday outside of term, and whoever was in charge of the playlist was doing a stellar job. My experience was only somewhat worsened by the guy sitting next to me, who potently and incessantly farted in my direction, but it’s surely unreasonable to blame Linacre for the questionable actions of their students’ bowels. Were I a Linacre student, I may have considered posting passive aggressive complaints on their adult equivalent to a JCR Facebook notice board, or even post-its on the bathroom stall doors. Alas.

This bar would be an unfulfilling but just about acceptable venue for actual Linacre students, and potentially even relaxing after a long day of shouting and waving placards outside the science area as part of their never-ending campaign for neverending change. However, I can’t say it would make a good hangout spot for any of us lowly undergraduates, even during term.

The rise of the zine: the mouthpiece of modern youth

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I feel bad for saying it out loud, (even worse on paper) but print is kind of dying. Newspapers are hemmorhaging money like there’s no tomorrow. Propped up by eccentric Russian oligarchs and dropping staff daily, bloggers and vloggers are getting more invites to front row seats and press events than journalists. Romanticism aside, that ain’t no bad thing; the immediacy of online reporting, and blogging’s democratisation of the journalism industry means that more voices can be heard than ever on a plethora of subjects that mainstream media isn’t necessarily reporting.

But, a change is coming. The public still seems to yearn for a perfect matt sheen of a glossy front cover, and are steadily switching off their iPads in favour of the age old printed page. Past years have seen an exponential growth in the niche independent magazine industry; independent subscription service Stack has seen its revenue grow by 78 per cent in the past year.

Head into London shops Magma, Foyles or Wardour News any day of the week and you’ll find an array of glorious, heavy magazines being fondled by hipsters on subjects as specific as feminist cooking. Despite the varying content, the commonality of these magazines is their use of thick, luxurious paper than feels nicer than a freshly washed pillow case. And the fact that they all champion passionate, knowledgeable and interesting new voices.

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The brains behind most of these magazines seem to have a history in journalism, but up until this point haven’t been able to find an outlet for their crazy obsession with falconry. People like Marcus Webb of Delayed Gratification (the slow news quarterly), who was previously the International Editor of Time Out, packed it all in to produce something he truly believed in. Delayed Gratification is an exception. Most publications like Offscreen or The Intern, don’t have an office yet: they are basically the products of a lot of labour in the editor’s mum’s house. This means that without any staff, editors ask for submissions from people across the globe; sometimes not even meeting the person who sub-edits for them in the flesh. Makeshift Magazine, about creative problem solving, has a distinctively broad outlook because of its dedication to printing stories from far-flung countries; stories and voices that people like me wouldn’t get to hear from reading magazines written by a team in a London media office who invariably all live in High Street Kensington and share the same music taste, bank balance and nights out.

The amount of work that goes into one issue means that each has been crafted with a discerment and dedicationto long-form think pieces and beautifully considered aesthetics. 

Children’s magazine Anorak, for example, has beautiful artwork and cartoons of a quality I wouldn’t mind hanging on my wall. Student-run fashion magazine Pigeons and Peacocks consistently runs editorials which focus on the avant-garde work of cutting-edge teen talent rather than big brands; making each page far more of a delight than Vogue.

While dipping into what is essentially a fan-zine for a small group of diehard hobbyists might be alienating at first, the niche subject matter is made accessible by the pure zeal of the writers which exudes from every page.

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Wine magazine Noble Rot tells the tales of people rather than products, and slow-living magazine Kinfolk advocates a calm, settled way of living rather than focusing on any particular commercial commodity; a refreshing relief for those tired of promotional features and tabloid news.

True, the short-print run, rather high pricing (anywhere from £6-20 for each issue) and news-stand elusiveness of the products of this new wave of publishing romanticism might be off-putting. But invest in a copy and you’ll be championing talented, enthusiastic voices from across the globe that would otherwise remain unheard 

Monumental Art: exhibitions at Modern art Oxford

Debora Delmar is a little known Mexican artist but in recognition of 2015 as the ‘year of Mexico in the UK’ she has been invited to stage her first solo exhibition in Britain at Modern Art Oxford. Delmar’s desire for this exhibition is to demonstrate our dependence upon, constant interaction with and bombardment by global corporations: their brand images, slogans and eye-catching advertising.

This is an exhibition of “Aspirational Aesthetics”: orange juice, the image of ‘wellbeing’; the mock Ugg-boots, a status symbol accessible to all; tidy boxed hedges which border the American dream home. The exhibition gave off the impression of trying to overload us with these images, illustrating the explosion of communications technology and the infiltration of branding into every aspect of our lives. It was this ‘explosion’ effect that fell a little short: in the spacious, lofty, light Upper Gallery of Modern Art Oxford the exhibition looks too polite; even fifteen works in the gallery and large vibrant fabric prints hanging from the ceiling failed to imitate the feeling of living under siege from commercial bombardment. The “mass” of material looked like politely arranged mess.

Test Run: Performance in Public is definitely worth paying a visit to. Jeremy Deller, who curated the recent Andy Warhol and William Morris Love is Not Enough show is an artist in his own right too and his best-known work The Battle of Orgreave features in the current group exhibition. It is an hour-long video documenting the re-enactment of violent confrontation between miners and police in 1984. There were two identifiable main lines of enquiry within the exhibition: public engagement as a medium, to which Deller’s video belongs and performance interventions (or the documentation of) which seek to disrupt the unspoken codes of convention in public space, commenting upon their ungrounded authority. Documentation of Gillian Wearing dancing in public shopping malls explores the amusing result of recontexutualising dancing; placing it in a public space where it is received with amusement, bewilderment, ambivalence and indifference by shoppers.

Several performances have been commissioned in tandem with the gallery works including a walk led by Hamish Fulton on April 26th. For Florence Peake’s Lay me Down, multiple volunteers will interrupt the predominance of vertical structures, tall vertical buildings and upright people in the street by lying down in the centre of town. So if you see something a bit strange going on in Oxford, it might be art. 

Upward Mobility and Test Run: Performance in Public will run until 17th May, Modern Art Oxford, Pembroke Street. 

Coloured squares, black pigs and the art of abstraction

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I’m nervous walking into the Richard Diebenkorn exhibition. The American painter is famous (rather, art-famous). This means I’ll give his work time, perhaps too much (wait long enough and anything: fried eggs, a urinal, Tracy’s bed, starts to seem deep and meaningful). Diebenkorn is also too recent; only dead for 21 years, his work might just be kicking around because history hasn’t had time to get rid of it. Time generally purges the crap, but the excrement of the present is always among us- the contemporary is always the worst period.

Also, Diebenkorn’s work isn’t realistic, or meant to be. This makes judging it hard. Realistic art is easier to critique, five fingers right, six fingers wrong etc., whereas you can’t go up to a Rothko and ask ‘why orange?’ When Abstraction cut painting’s umbilical cord to nature, it also cut the (tenuous) tether connecting critics and objectivity.  Art judgements have never been totally objective, but with modernism people gave up even trying. Public confusion over how to judge modernist art lead to the critic-tycoon type in 1950; a popular art critic would buy the works of a lesser-known artist, promote said artist, then sell the works for a profit. This brings us back to the fame-point; is Richard Diebenkorn famous for the market’s sake? I walk into the exhibition awash with waves of neurosis, disillusioned with the gallery-world. Then I see the art. 

The paintings don’t look great, or at least not Sistine-ceiling-so-great-it-ends-up-woefully-distorted-on-mugs-for-tourists-great. One painting, called ‘black pig’, looks as much like a pig as any black square with feet would. There is a series called ‘Albuquerque’; I grew up there, and am not convinced. On one wall is an orangeish painting, with a collection of shapes in the middle. It looks really good, which is peculiar, as it doesn’t look quite like anything. Each part of the painting is unattractive, but together it just works.  Several other paintings share this ‘just works’ quality, most of them in fact. The paintings feel totally convincing- I believe in the world they depict. ‘Abstract’ seems a misnomer. It’s like a room of lucky strikes, the one in a thousand work of accidental brilliance that each amateur hopes to produce. Only, there’s a room of these.

I walk into the second room, and god the relief. A wall of drawings- good drawings, with that special looking-like-the-things-they-are-meant-to-look-like quality. ‘Artist’s gaze’ is the kind of (usually) empty art jargon I hear a lot. Only, here it seems applicable: you can see in the work the process behind it, a drawing re-examined, redefined, with such concentration that you imagine looking through the artist’s own eyes. Intense observation underlies everything in the room. This doesn’t mean the work looks photorealistic.

Instead, Diebenkorn has studied his subject so well that he can leave almost everything out besides the few key details that make it what it is. Scissors made metal by a few touches of white, a knife with a three-mark ebony handle. Through the exclusion of detail, Diebenkorn pushes his work up to the line between figurative and abstract. And once we’ve arrived there, we realise there isn’t a line at all, there aren’t even two different camps. His ‘abstract’ paintings are only coloured shapes, yet they look like fields, mountains, and (dubious) pigs. Similarly, his scissors could be just an X on the canvas and his ocean landscape, an abstraction. This is a simple point, but the most important of modernism: everything is just paint on canvas. 

The last room. Go and see it. I will lend you my museum pass. London is close, and Collections will soon be over.It is the best room I’ve been in. The paintings are huge. They are Californian days, warm sunsets, totally welcoming but not the least bit naff. (This tells you nothing about what they look like; so think ‘coloured squares’ and suspend judgement till you see for yourself). Diebenkorn has genius. The paintings shout ‘I am heaven’ and ‘I am some shapes’ simultaneously. They are so well-observed, but nowhere can you see a mark that ties the pictures to something specific. This is great, and it’s great because it’s great, but also because Diebenkorn’s being great means that the art world does something alright, the market can be trusted and everything is going to be just fine.

Has the Tories’ electoral mastermind delivered the goods?

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Much was made of Lynton Crosby’s appointment as a key election adviser to the Conservative party in 2013. Having cultivated an image as being one of the most successful political consultants of his generation, and one of the most ruthless, there was a high expectation in his ability to improve the strategic prospects of the Conservative Party. And it would have been a reasonable assumption to make. Having masterminded four consecutive general election victories for the Australian Liberal Party between 1996 and 2004, as well as succeeding in leading a Conservative candidate (Boris Johnson) to successive victories in the predominately Labour city of London, it is understandable why the Conservatives would seek to utilise his expertise.

‘The Master of the dark political arts’, ‘The Australian Karl Rove’ and ‘The Wizard of Oz’ are just some of the titles that Crosby has gained in a 20 year career in right-wing politics. Yet, as we enter the closing stages of a campaign that Crosby has been at the centre of planning for, we must ask the growing question: how successful has he been?

It is undoubtedly the case that Crosby has achieved significant political success in rebuilding the public reputation of the Conservative Party in the run-up to this election. Having been appointed when the Tories were in the nadir of their popularity as a result of a flat lining economy and internal coalition divisions, his skills were certainly required. And, indeed, he has delivered in giving focus to the Tory economic message and providing stark dividing lines between the Conservatives and Labour.

By focussing on key areas where the Conservatives still had a structural polling majority, Crosby has sought to utilise key Tory strengths to shore up the core vote and persuade fluctuating voters to remain faithful in the Government’s economic agenda. The political dividing line was not between uncaring austerity and moderate fiscal action (as Labour had argued), but rather between a Conservative Party who was able to implement a responsible economic policy and a Labour Party that was incapable of taking the tough actions required. Whether or not this narrative is true is irrelevant. It is the case, however, that he successfully shifted the terms on which austerity was debated in British politics. Yet, just one week short of this election campaign, he has of yet been unable to make the significant breakthrough that the Tories had hoped he would have. The polling is still unnervingly static for the Conservatives, with neither the Tories nor Labour being able to break out of the 33-35 per cent margin in sustained polls. Entering into this election with a successful economic record, and high personal ratings, David Cameron would have had much faith in Crosby’s promise of the “cross-over” point (when the Conservatives finally gain momentum over Labour). Suffice to say this point has not materialised.

This has partly been because of external factors that have structurally disadvantaged the Conservatives, such as the failure to pass boundary reform and UKIP solidifying around 10 percent of the national vote, but it is also because of the failure – of Crosby – to have developed the Conservative campaign beyond his pre-election strategy. Prior to the campaigns officially getting underway, the Conservatives had cultivated a message based on two principal factors: economic success and the personal popularity of David Cameron versus Ed Miliband. Both were important dividing lines, but to make them focal points in the election itself has been totally insufficient.

The Conservatives have simply failed to engage with the distinction that Labour has been able to make in the eyes of the public – between economic growth and living standards. By simply emphasising the success of the “long term economic plan” in statistics such as the rate of GDP growth and the fall in unemployment, the Tories failed to personalise their economic message. This was a key mistake, resulting in a Conservative message of economic triumphalism that seems totally disconnected from the experience of many ordinary people.

It was also an entirely flawed notion to focus so much attention on Ed Miliband. Of course public perception of him as a leader would not remain so systemically low. During any election campaign, the leader of the opposition gains a huge amount of public exposure and are presented with an opportunity to elevate their personal profile and political message.

Moreover, low expectations of Ed Miliband were already baked into the polls months before the election took place, and yet the Conservatives had failed to make a breakthrough. This means that there are millions of undecided voters in the election who have already made their mind up about Ed Miliband, yet still cannot bring themselves to vote Conservative. The more Crosby attacks a leader who is raising his personal profile, the more negative, and desperate, his own campaign appears.

Can Crosby defy the odds and deliver an election victory for the Tories? No. Can the Conservatives still govern after the election? Unlikely. But one thing is for certain. The strategy, so far, has not delivered.

The Ugly Politics of the Silver Screen

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I always find it amusing to imagine that when Ed Miliband returns from a hard day of electoral campaigning, he is greeted by a Malcolm Tucker-esque figure who gives him one hell of a bollocking. “Fuck me! You were like a clown running across a minefield”, or something along those lines – preferably in Peter Capaldi’s Glasgow grizzle. Tucker was reportedly based on real life spin-doctors – most notably Alastair Campbell – who liberally oozed profanity in the workplace, and his overwhelming popularity with audiences proves that there’s something hilariously tragic about a politician coming back to HQ with their tail between their legs, ready for a spanking.

Politicians and their ilk get a pretty bad rap on screen. Why is it that we find Kevin Spacey’s Machiavellian Frank Underwood ten thousand times more appealing – and more believable – than Ryan Gosling’s handsome campaign manager with a gooey moral centre in The Ides of March? Despite polls claiming practically every week that people want to see more “down-to-earth” and “normal” politicians, film and television is repeatedly suggesting precisely the opposite. The realm of politics on screen is populated by either bumbling idiots or ruthless schemers. It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Audiences seem to get a kick out of watching elected officials crash and burn – that’s certainly what made Spitting Image so popular.

There’s just nothing interesting about a “good” politician – that is to say, a politician who lacks significant controversy. How many films have there been about Henry Campbell-Bannerman, Prime Minister from 1899 to 1905? Conversely, how many times have biopics of Richard Nixon graced our screens? He’s been played by the likes of Anthony Hopkins, Frank Langella, and John Cusack. Why? Because he’s a President that made a big mistake. The Watergate Scandal was immediately capitalised upon in All The President’s Men (1976) and screen executives haven’t been able to keep their hands off it since. Even Winston Churchill – one of Britain’s most iconic and arguably beloved figures – is hounded by cinema because he served as PM during one of the most tumultuous and testing times in world history (plus he was a pretty interesting guy). And Michael Sheen seems to have made a career for himself playing the not-so-smooth and far from uncontroversial Tony Blair in a string of political flicks (The Deal, The Queen, The Special Relationship).

Slipping up seems to have become synonymous with the job description of an elected official. With great power comes great responsibility, and with great responsibility comes the inevitable likelihood of big mistakes. In spite of the intensive personal vigor and astuteness undoubtedly required to work one’s way up the political ladder, officials are so often viewed and portrayed as stupid. As soon as Arnold Schwarzenegger is elected President in The Simpsons Movie, he becomes simultaneously illiterate. Poor Margaret Thatcher couldn’t even escape the cutting knife of the silver screen when it suggested her post-politics decrepitude in The Iron Lady. Out of the 55 Prime Minsters Britain has held, 41 of them attended Oxbridge – isn’t it time we stopped pretending that they’re unintelligent beings?

As Reese Witherspoon’s Tracy Flick in Election demonstrates, a lot of work goes into a political campaign, but when the tide of a whole country is mounting upon you, it just isn’t possible to please everyone. The simple fact of the matter is that film and TV love to see politicians embroiled in a good scandal – a good failure. It makes for a great story. I’m surprised there hasn’t been a miniseries about that time Gordon Brown called a voter a “bigoted woman”, or when David Cameron claimed that the Queen “purred down the line” upon hearing the result of the Scottish referendum. But with the success of hit series VEEP, House of Cards, and even ITV’s Newzoids, it doesn’t seem like screen executives are anywhere near finished giving politicians the Tucker-treatment.