Tuesday, May 6, 2025
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OULC launch #2015hours campaign for upcoming election

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The Oxford University Labour Club (OULC) have kick-started this General Election year with a pledge to put in 2015 campaigning hours on the doorstep.

On Monday night, about fifty OULC members gathered in Corpus Christi for a drinks event to mark the start of the campaign. In attendance were Andrew Smith, MP for Oxford East and former Chief Secretary to the Treasury and Work and Pension Secretary, as well as Victoria Groulef, the Labour candidate in the party’s target seat of Reading West.

OULC announced they would be out in Oxford East every Sunday this term, as well as travelling three times to Reading West. Campaigning would include leafleting, canvassing, and doorstep encounters with voters.

In a speech at the gathering, Andrew Smith MP lambasted the Coalition government for bringing about “food bank Britain”, introducing “the wicked bedroom tax” and implementing ‘“cuts to council support”.

He urged assembled members to campaign with “purpose, principle and passion”.

Speaking to Cherwell he stressed, “There’s everything to campaign for, and OULC have a vital role to play. The more people we talk to the more people will vote for us.”

The MP reminded OULC campaigners, “Never take a vote for granted”, but emphasised their record of speaking to between 30,000 and 40,000 voters a year as exemplary.

Hannah Lovell, co-Chair of OULC, told Cherwell, ‘‘OULC are really excited to announce our #2015hours campaign. The election coming up is one of the most important in a generation, and only a Labour government can protect and support students and young people.’’

Lovell encouraged students to register to vote at the event, reminding OULC members it was only “15 weeks and counting”.

Groulef also spoke at the event, thanking OULC for their support over the past two and a half years. She commended Andrew Smith as “the best campaigning MP in the country” but argued this will be an essentially local election, fought over local issues.

Given that the national Labour Students group aims to deliver 10,000 campaigning hours, OULC’s campaigning would constitute over a fifth of its doorstep activities.

The OULC termcard shows that former Chancellor and Chair of the Better Together campaign Alistair Darling will be visiting the club on Saturday as part of the election campaign pledge.

Members of both the Oxford University Conservative Association (OUCA) and the Oxford University Liberal Democrats (OULD) have responded to the news.

“We’ve a full campaigning termcard in place for Hilary. This does not frighten us,” an OULD member remarked.

One member of OUCA suggested OULC’s pledge would be dwarfed by the Conservatives’ Team2015 campaign. Conservative campaign leaders said, “Team2015 volunteers are working together to win a Conservative majority at the next election.”

Reportedly, students consumed alcohol at this drinks event. 

Cambridge better for housing and transport

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DATA PUBLISHED IN THE ECONOMIST has exposed disparities between Oxford and Cambridge as places to live, with residents of Cambridge enjoying more affordable housing and better transport links.

A City Council commissioned study from URS consultancy firm revealed that Oxford built just 60 new houses in 2014, compared to Cambridge’s 1,020.

This lack of building has led to a severe housing shortage in Oxford, with the average house price at 11.3 times the average local earnings; making it the most unaffordable place to live in Britain.

Leader of Oxford City Council Bob Price told The Economist that Cambridge is at least 20 years ahead of Oxford.

However, he did note that this has begun to change during the tenure of the current Vice-Chancellor Andrew Hamilton, after it was claimed that Oxford University has previously been historically less forward thinking than Cambridge and failed to engage with the local community.

Nonetheless, Oxford University commented, “While Oxford’s geography can present challenges, the University and its local partners in government and business are successfully overcoming these barriers to create new enterprises, skills and jobs for the benefit of the entire region.

“The University has also created more spin-out companies than any other university over the last 25 years, many of which are still Oxford-based employers. One example, the digital games company NaturalMotion, started by a zoology graduate student, was sold for $527m last January.”

The article attributes the disparity in part to a few visionary Cambridge academics who decided the University should “convert its boffinary into wider regional prosperity”.

This led to numerous projects, including the Cambridge Science Park and St John’s Innovation Centre, forming a link between between the University and local business.

Cambridge MP Julian Huppert put their growth down to “its relatively small population, which means people are more likely to know each other than in larger cities”.

Many Oxford students were dismayed with the findings, with some expressing concern about the unaffordability of local housing, while others took a more jovial attitude.

One New College PPEist noted that, “Oxford’s failure lies totally in the name. Cambridge is like actually a bridge over the Cam but I don’t see any Oxen. Maybe we should get some oxen?”

Predictably, Cambridge students were more upbeat in their response. One Law fresher noted, “I always knew we were academically superior but it’s gratifying to know that our urban environment is also better.”

Another second year suggested, “For all the good-natured joking and one-upmanship it is nice to put a definitive end to our little squabble: Cambridge has won.”

The revelation follows a visit last October to Cambridge by 40 Oxford councillors and business leaders, who visited the town to see how Cambridge deals with its urban problems. 

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Gender gap in graduate employment

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Female graduates are notably less likely to get a graduate level job than their male peers, a study by Oxford University’s Careers Service has revealed. The research showed that new female graduates earn on average £4,000 a year less than new male graduates.

The study, which involved 17,000 students from seven different universities, found that 90 per cent of men are employed in a graduate level job six months after graduation, with an average starting salary of £25,000. By contrast, just 81 per cent of women were in a graduate level job after six months, with an average salary of £21,000.

The study took into account several possible factors before concluding that gender had the biggest impact, as Jonathan Black, director of Oxford’s Careers Service, explained, “We set out to explore the possible drivers of securing a graduate-level job, and considered gender, ethnicity, social background, degree class, subject, and disability.

“We were pleased to find that social background appears to have no significant effect on securing a graduate-level job: a finding that we should celebrate. Indeed, of all the factors we explored, gender has the biggest effect, with a statistically significant lower proportion of women than men achieving a graduate level job within six months.”

In addition to the statistical analysis, the Careers Service also conducted interviews with hundreds of Oxford students regarding their attitudes towards careers. This research found that men tended to think about and make career choices earlier in their university degrees than women, who were more focused on academic work and extracurricular activities. Men were also found to be more confident in approaching the recruitment process.

In terms of career priorities, women had a greater focus on job security and getting a job they considered to be helping a worthwhile cause compared to their male colleagues. These attitudes also appear to be prevalent among sixth form girls, whose views were revealed in a separate Oxford Careers Service survey of around 3,200 male and female students across 42 independent and state schools.

Oxford is involved in a number of projects that aim to close the graduate gender gap. Oxford pioneered the Springboard career development programme for female undergraduates. This project is now running at several other universities.

An Oxford University spokesperson told Cherwell, “Oxford University’s Careers Service has been a leader among UK universities in its efforts to support female graduates in their career choices – which is why it undertook the research to see what factors affect graduate destinations and salary.

“While a disappointing graduate pay gender gap persists, Oxford is in an excellent position to address some of the attitudes and concerns that affect female students’ career destinations thanks to programmes like its Springboard assertiveness and self-confidence training.”

Ex-student criticises institutional homophobia of Eton

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ST JOHN’S COLLEGE STUDENT Jamie Jackson has written an open letter to fellow Old Etonian Piers Torday, currently head of the alumni association Dragonflies for gay Old Etonians, highlighting the homophobic atmosphere of
his former school.

Torday, who attended Eton College in the 1980s, publicly spoke out about his experiences of being the only openly gay student in the school at the time. He described his experiences of attitudes towards LGBTQ students at Eton, saying, “There was some sniggering, but there was certainly no upsetting or traumatic bullying.”

His summative comment concluded, “By and large, what I’ve always thought about Eton is that people were very supportive, given that it was the late 80s, early 90s and the papers were full of headlines about people battling to block the age of consent and AIDS.” 

Jackson wrote the letter in response to these remarks. In the letter, Jackson claimed, “The idea that Eton does not have a problem with homophobia allows the school to ignore these issues, rather than tackling them head on.”

Jackson continued by listing several instances of latent homophobia within the school environment, observing, “There was never any attempt to provide sex education that was not purely targeted at heterosexual students.

“Whilst some teachers did pick boys up on using the word ‘gay’ as an insult, many ignored it, and few even used it themselves as the punchline to ‘jokes’, and, worse, as an insult.

“I am not aware of the school’s policies on teachers attempting to use inclusive language, but there seemed to be no effort to try and use
such language.

“There were never any specific campaigns against homophobic bullying.”

When questioned on his motivations behind writing the letter, Jackson told Cherwell, “Piers Torday’s comments had somewhat been taken out of context, and he had been commenting on his personal experience which was then attached to his role as head of the OE [Old Etonian] Dragonflies.

Nevertheless, I recognised the attitude that homophobia is not really an issue
at Eton from statements by friends and other OEs and it is an attitude that is both incorrect and deeply frustrating to anyone that has witnessed it first-hand.”

The letter was published in PinkNews on January 18th, and has since garnered much attention and support. Jackson explained, “I wrote the letter much as anyone writes a frustrated status on Facebook: as an avenue for my anger
without expectation of satisfaction. 

“I have received around 50 replies from current Etonians, Old Etonians, and staff members at the school. The stories they relayed are often deeply personal and affecting. I feel undeserving, if grateful, that I have sparked such responses.

I am determined to use such experience as a catalyst for change at the school.”

Jackson continued, “Oxford is, as universities tend to be when compared to school, a lot less bad for overt homophobia. Oxford is no liberal paradise, however; most gay or bi students I know are still reluctant to hold hands with
others of the same gender after dark.”

Oxford house prices outstrip earnings

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FIGURES RELEASED THIS WEEK reveal that the gap between house prices and average earnings has been widening in Oxford over the last ten years more than in almost any other city in the UK.

London and Cambridge were the only British cities where the gap between house prices and average earnings increased more than it did in Oxford.

The findings were published by the think tank Centre for Cities, in their annual Cities’ Outlook report. It was revealed that the average house in Oxford cost 16.1 times more than the average yearly salary in 2014, which was £28,860.

By comparison, the average house cost 12.8 times more than an average year’s wage in 2004. The average wage in 2014 in Oxford was the eighth highest average in Britain.

The Senior Economist at Centre for Cities, Paul Swinney, told Cherwell, “At £555 per week, Oxford’s average earnings are relatively high on a national level, and well above the UK city average of £501 per week.

“However, its growing economy and its increased desirability as a place to live, work and invest have not been matched by any significant house building over the past decade, which has seen demand for existing dwellings reach unprecedented levels. Only two hundred new homes were built between 2012 and 2013, for example, indicating why house prices rose by ten per cent between 2013 and 2014.

“Over the ten years from 2004, Oxford’s house prices rose from 12 to 16 times average earnings. As our recent report on the UK’s housing crisis demonstrated, Oxford urgently needs to find new opportunities to increase its rate of house building, or it threatens pricing workers – and the businesses that employ them – out of the city, with long-term consequences for economic growth.”

Andrew Carter, Acting Chief Executive of Centre for Cities, added, “Five months out from the election, this report makes the strongest economic case yet for the next government to step up to the challenge of investing in the long-term success of our cities, and build a brighter future in which more people and places can contribute to, and share in, prosperity and growth.

“The stark picture the report paints of the enormous gap in the fortunes of UK cities over ten years underlines why a ‘steady as she goes’ approach must be scrapped. We must move from thinking that bundling up new funding streams with bureaucratic delays, or simply tinkering around the edges with well-intentioned announcements, will be enough to reverse trends that are becoming increasingly entrenched.

“Cities need long-term funding and strategic planning, and policies that go to the heart of addressing the key drivers of economic growth – including transport, planning, skills and housing.’’

Union criticised for lack of diversity in lineup

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THE OXFORD UNION has been criticised by students for producing a Hilary termcard with 64 per cent white male speakers.

The Union, who had promised an “incredibly diverse” termcard have come under fire after promising to challenge “the view that the Union is a ‘boys’ club’’, but presenting an overwhelmingly male line up.

The termcard, which includes notable figures such as Marine Le Pen, Al Sharpton, and Sarah Palin, includes three separate weeks in which there are no individual female speakers. Of the entire eight week term, the lineup includes only 15 women speaking in total, four of whom are invited for a feminism debate.

Opinion is divided as to whether the Union should have ensured a more equal gender and ethnicity balance for this term’s events, since 21 of the 31 individual speakers are white males. On the debates panel for Oxbridge admissions quotas, all of the speakers are white, and only one is female.

On the debate on institutional racism in the US, all of the panel are male. Three out of seven of the debates contain an all-male and all-white panel.

Annie Teriba, former member of the Secretary’s Commitee, said, ‘‘I’m saddened to see that yet again the Union has prioritised so many men over having decent representation.

‘‘I gather from certain well placed likes on Cuntry Living that some in the Union think that I’m supposed to celebrate the most talked about speakers: a woman who hates my right to choose, a woman who profits from feeding my insecurities and a fascist. The Union certainly knows how to make a girl feel special.”

Tim Squirrell, former President of the Cambridge Union and a speaker at the Oxford Union in 7th Week of Hilary, told Cherwell that the Union still has much work to do.

He commented, “The Oxford (and Cambridge) Unions have long-standing and
lingering problems with diversity. There are a lot of different causes: it’s partly to do with lack of women and other groups in positions of power and partly to do with those who are in those positions not accepting invitations as readily.

“At the Cambridge Union, quite a lot is being done to rectify our diversity problems, for example inviting only female speakers for a large amount of the time, or deliberately filling any remaining debate slots with female speakers.

‘‘Whilst we’re making some headway, there’s still a long way to go, and I’m not sure that I would go so far as to celebrate the diversity of our termcard just yet.’’

Helena Dollimore, former OULC chair, said, “When I pledged a gender balanced termcard in my hust to co-chair a political society in Oxford, members said it would be impossible. We did it, with less effort than I expected, despite the domination of politics and that party by men.

“Apologists will always say gender balancing is impossible and will lead to poorer quality speakers. It’s not only quite easy if you actually try, but can lead you to invite speakers who end up being even more interesting.”

However, not everyone agreed. Lewis Hedges, a PPEist at Univ, said, “I think the problem here is twofold: yes the Union aren’t getting enough women to come and speak, but there also aren’t enough women high enough up in
their fields to invite.

“This system of patriarchy is both excluding existing women from speaking and preventing many such young women from rising to a place of prominence in the first place”.

The Union did not respond to our requests
for comment.

Oxford’s Living Wage triumph

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Yesterday, Oxford University confirmed that it will become an accredited Living Wage employer in April 2015. At the same time, Oriel and Wadham announced that they will also be seeking accreditation.

All three institutions do currently pay all directly employed staff at least the Living Wage, which is currently set at £7.85 for everywhere outside of London. Their commitment means that they will now pay the Living Wage to all who work on site, including third-party contracted staff.

Following official announcements from Wadham and Oriel, Pembroke College have also committed to accreditation following a meeting of their governing body. Ben Nabarro, Pembroke JCR president, commented, “This has been a central issue for the JCR and it’s fantastic to see Pembroke commit to accreditation. Pembroke does currently pay the Living Wage but it’s important to give staff the security of a binding commitment. Colleges have an obligation to be responsible employers.”

OUSU’s Living Wage Campaign has been lobbying the university since 2011 to accredit. Fergal O’Dwyer, the campaign’s co-Chair, said, “This is the most significant event in the campaign’s history. Getting the University to accredit has always been our most salient aim, and I’m proud of the work that the campaign has done toward achieving this.”

 

Stephen Goss, Pro-Vice-Chancellor (Personnel and Equality) commented, “I am very pleased that the University is taking this step. It guarantees the Living Wage to all our employees and will ensure that, as we revise or set up new agreements, the staff of contractors who work regularly on our premises also receive the Living Wage.”

Ruth Meredith, OUSU VP (Charities & Community) was also exultant at the news. She said, “Today, we have finally won. By accrediting, Oxford University is making an unequivocal statement that poverty wages are unacceptable, and have no place in our community. They are listening to the voices of the people who work with and for them, and taking it seriously.

Speaking to Cherwell, O’Dwyer stressed that, although this is a significant milestone, it’s vital that the campaign use this momentum to push for every college to become accredited, saying, “With the success at the central university, the focus now turns to those colleges who still refuse to accredit or even pay a Living Wage. We’re encouraging people to start college campaigns. The central University has set a massive precedent: there is now no excuse for poverty pay in Oxford.”

The Living Wage Campaign are planning to host an equipping session where those who have led successful campaigns can share tactics with others looking to push for accreditation in their own colleges. It aims to help students who are unfamiliar with the college’s decision-making processes or bringing motions to the JCR.

Henriette Willberg, Wadham SU’s Charities, Environment and Ethics Officer, was one of the leaders of Wadham’s campaign to accredit. She said that Wadham’s decision was the result of “the continuous campaigning and engagement that has gone on within the college and all those members of the SU (over 230) who signed the open letter. We hope that Wadham’s accreditation can lead the way for other colleges in the near future.”

Nick Clegg condemns Campsfield expansion plans

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DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER Nick Clegg has spoken out against the expansion of Campsfield House Immigration detention Centre, arguing that there is not a “clear case” for the proposals.

Clegg declared, “The Home Office needs to improve the speed and accuracy of immigration and asylum decisions. This will reduce demand, help save money, and mean we can eventually close centres such as Campsfield House.”

The prospective Liberal Democrat parliamentary candidate for Oxford West and Abingdon, Layla Moran, supported his remarks. She said, “I am delighted the Deputy Prime Minister has backed our calls. The ‘needs case’ for this expansion is now even less convincing.”

His decision to speak out against existing plans contrasts with Prime Minister David Cameron’s response to an open letter from 21 local organizations in December, which called for the withdrawal of plans to expand the detention
centre.  

In the reply, the Head of Detention Operations at the Home Office, Karen Abdel-Hady, confirmed that a planning application had been submitted and that if approved, would “provide modern accommodation and facilities” and “meet the strategic objectives of immigration enforcement”.

Abdel-Hady’s response went on to defend the Immigration Removal Centre, arguing, “Detention and removal are essential and effective parts of immigration control but it’s vital it’s done with humanity and dignity.”

Having previously expressed her disappointment at the response from the Home office, an Oxford researcher working on deportation and immigration detention was this time “extremely pleased” with the Deputy Prime Minister’s decision to speak out against proposals to double the size of Campsfield.

Dr. Melanie Griffiths told Cherwell, “The UK is unique in Europe for having no maximum time limit for immigration detention, meaning that people have no idea how long they might be detained for, with many incarcerated for months or even years. It is also an extremely costly process, at £36,000 per detainee per year, and causes immense damage to individuals and their families.’’

“Given all this, rather than seek to expand detention space yet further, we should be looking into cheaper and more civilised means of operating an immigration system. I welcome Clegg’s recognition that we should call for the end of this cruel practice.”

She went on to say, “Depriving a person of their liberty simply for administrative inconvenience is abhorrent.”

Oxford University’s Amnesty International was equally keen to back Clegg’s comments, with their President commenting, “We are pleased that the Deputy PM has condemned the expansion plans and hope this represents
a growing trend.”

“UK law and the Home Office’s own policy guidance clearly state that detention should be used sparingly and for the shortest period necessary. Yet these recent rapid expansions suggest that rather than ‘sparingly’, detention is being increasingly relied upon to warehouse migrants simply for administrative reasons, a proportion of whom will never be removed
from the UK.”

Dr. Griffiths was keen to encourage people to express their views on the issue using the Detention Forum website.

A statement prepared by OUSU’s Student Executive Officers about the expansion plans declares, “Campsfield House should not be expanded: it should be closed down. Detainees at Campsfield report frequent abuse – just last month the detainees themselves staged a protest against the violent treatment of one of their number – and are systematically denied their basic rights. That Campsfield is run for profit by a private company is also troubling.

“Migrants are not criminals. Many of the detainees in Campsfield faced persecution in their countries of origin and came to Britain needing our help. As a country, we are under an obligation not to mistreat them. Sadly, our immigration policy remains inhumane, and places like Campsfield are testament to that.

“That is why it is the position of OUSU to oppose Campsfield House, and therefore we deplore plans for its expansion. We are glad that many Oxford students and academics – including nine heads of colleges – agree with us on this issue, and we will continue to lobby the government to close Campsfield.”

The planning application for the extension to Campsfield has been deferred to the Cherwell District Council planning committee meeting on February 19th because the applicants ‘need more time to resolve the highways issue’.

Neither the offices of David Cameron nor the Liberal Democrat party responded to requests for comment.

News agent’s u-turn on decision to stock Charlie Hebdo

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An Oxford news agent’s who planned to stock the latest edition of the French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo has done an abrupt U-turn after receiving threats.

The publication features a cartoon on its front page depicting the Prophet Muhammad crying and holding a sign declaring “Je suis Charlie”. This edition was printed in the aftermath of the murder of the magazine’s staff and a police officer on January 7th 2015.

The newsagent’s, Wendy’s News on Broad Street, originally ordered 500 copies of the controversial magazine. Due to popular demand from customers, a further 500 copies were ordered, so that 1,000 copies were expected to arrive earlier this week.

However, a worker at the newsagent’s, who wished to remain anonymous, has informed Cherwell that these orders have now been cancelled. He admitted that they had received some threats, but denied that this was the reason for the cancellation of the order, saying, “We did not know much about the magazine and now we have found out about the contents we have decided against stocking it.”

Thames Valley Police told Cherwell that they were “called yesterday morning [January 20th] to a newsagent in Broad Street, after receiving a report that a threat was made to the shop the previous night [January 19th] on the telephone.”

Tawfiq Hamid, President of the Oxford University Islamic Society, commented on the newsagent’s decision to stock the paper, “He is of course free to sell what he likes but it just seems strange for a Muslim man to sell a magazine that is openly anti-Islamic, each to his own I suppose.”

A worker at Wendy’s News later explained more specifically that he had been unaware that the publication contained a depiction of the Prophet Muhammad, and that, had he known, he would have refused to stock the
magazine. His reasoning behind the decision was solely due to customer demand, claiming that “over 600 customers asked me to stock it”.

BBC Oxford reported that the decision to cancel the order was due to threatening phone calls and Facebook abuse received by the newsagent’s, including threats to burn the shop and break the windows. The Thames Valley Police confirmed to Cherwell that they received report of a threat made to a newsagent’s on Broad Street.

A second Oxford newsagent’s, Honey’s on the High, has ordered 300 copies of the most recent Charlie Hebdo, which is expected to arrive today. They have no plans to reverse this order.

An employee told Cherwell that they were aware of the threats Wendy’s News had received, but that they had not received any such threats themselves. Honey’s of the High have placed a sign in a prominent position, apologising for the delay in the arrival of the stock, but assuring customers that they will be sold. 

Cherwell spoke to a customer at Honey’s of the High, Chris Hardy, who wished to buy a copy of the most recent Charlie Hebdo.

He said, “I’d like a copy because of what it stands for and represents at the moment. I’ve read Private Eye, which is the nearest English equivalent for generations. What I think it stands for is that there must be freedom to
speak.”

The attacks in Paris fuelled a debate about the balance between freedom of speech and publication and the offence of religion. In this case it was the publication of cartoons which caused enormous offence to many Muslims.

In relation to this debate, Tawfiq Hamid, the President of the Oxford University Islamic Society commented, “The debate has turned into Islam vs freedom of speech, with no textual support to the implicit notion that Islam has a problem with freedom of speech. The overall tone of the debate is excessively Islamophobic and helps to build a general air of mistrust around Muslims in general, while in many cases inciting hatred against innocent individuals, such as we have seen reflected in the subsequent attacks against the Muslim community.

“Tomorrow, being Friday, ISoc will meet at about midday to pray and then chill while eating some (hopefully warm) sandwiches for lunch. We’ve also arranged a cheeky spot of 5-a-side for the evening. I just wanted to say that this, for me, is ‘living Islam’. The lives of Muslims are so different to what we see in the media and it’s sad that at the end of the day the only debate around Islam tonight revolves around ‘freedom of speech’ and ‘extremism’.”

Adam Ismail, a Muslim Law undergraduate at St. Catherine’s College, commented, “I don’t agree with the magazine covers produced by Charlie Hebdo but I respect the right of free speech and publication. There should be a right to insult and make fun of religion. I think that is fundamental to the freedom of speech.”

OxStew: Mansfield College governing body f***s building work

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After years of building renovations to bring better facilities and services to students and conference guests, Mansfield College Governing Body this week voted to “f*** it all and start again”. This would mean destroying three years’ worth of building work that was only completed two weeks ago, which had been described by critics as “that special rarity when aesthetic disgrace meets utter futility”.

The recent vote arose out of discussion about how to build new accommodation, whilst also providing new offices to allow them to hire more fellows and make room for a larger MCR. Upon consulting with architects, it became clear that the only way to accomplish this would be to move the SCR to a marginally smaller room for 18 months and would also require them to close off all access to every part of the building they had just spent years renovating. It was decided that the best course of action would be to bulldoze the entire college and start afresh.

“Yes, the College is several hundred years old and very pretty,” the bursar told Cherwell, “but the RadCam is also pretty and what a complete inefficient waste of space that piece of crap is.”

Several students supported the proposals. One third year Physics student said, “Seriously, the original architect of Mansfield was a complete tool. He clearly had no foresight to prepare for the future demands growing numbers of conference guests could place on the College,” whilst another student complimented the governing body on its “bravery in disregarding the generic viewpoint of Oxford as a beautiful but rather outmoded institution. Finally, Oxford University will really demonstrate that it is becoming part of our market society – it’s no longer just a load of redundant Grade I listed buildings where young minds can learn and expand, it’s actually becoming useful as a business model.”

When asked what would happen to the College whilst it was being demolished and then rebuilt from scratch, one fellow suggested, “Well, we’ll probably just go and have tutorials at the Pret A Manger on Cornmarket.” When asked for further details of what this could mean for the students, she replied, “Obviously all tutes would be in the bigger Pret. You know – the one with all the chairs. Not that tiny one near Lloyds. That would be ridiculous.”

The OxStew was given an exclusive look at the proposed blueprints for the new Mansfield College. It appears that the architects have been heavily influenced by their neighbouring college, St Catherine’s, although with less attention to artistic style and more emphasis on ensuring its practical usage for years to come. Although earlier blueprints had a quad and a JCR, the quad was removed upon realisation by the members of staff that it was the perfect size for a state of the art conference room, whilst the JCR has now been adapted into what is termed “a pre-conference designated meet-and-greet networking space”.

“The college had existed in its previous form for only a couple of hundred years, but with this new building we will be able to provide an excellent base for academic learning for at least another ten… until the demands of our grow- ing faculty and members means we have to start looking at new ways for expansion, in which case, we may begin to look towards a move to Port Meadow for all of our undergraduate accomodation,” reported the bursar, whom we met in what used to Mansfield Porters’ Lodge, but has now been designated as Project HQ to calculate the maximum potential for financial exploitation of Mansfield’s 300 plus students.

Demolition is set to start in March and the building is due to be completed by January 2017 although reports say it is already running approximately six months behind schedule, despite having not yet been started.