Monday 7th July 2025
Blog Page 1337

In-form cricketers looking to Lord’s

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Oxford’s female cricketers were faced with one of the toughest tests of the season, as they tackled the Cambridge University Women’s team at The Parks this term. The two sides had previously met in an extremely close BUCS fixture the week before, therefore promising for an exciting match between the rivals.

Cambridge won the toss on a somewhat cold and damp day at the Parks and decided to bat first. Webster and Ravi got their side off to a positive start with 28 off the first 4 overs, before Oxford were rewarded with their break- through of the wicket of Webster, for 10, from the introduction of spin from Ridhi Kashyap. The following two wickets of the Ravi twins fell within the space of 5 balls as Chatterji picked up her first wicket of the season and Kashyap furthered on an impressive spell with a great catch from keeper Lucy Stuchfield, to take the wicket of opener Nikhila Ravi for an orderly 27 off 33 balls.

From then on, Oxford remained on top in the field as they managed to hold their catches and keep the pressure on Cambridge as the wickets started to fall. The next 10 overs saw Cambridge only able to score 15 runs as Moore, Oberoi and Bath all picked up a wicket each, with a notable finishing spell from captain Tina Gough, bowling back to back maidens in order to restrict the opposition, after a late flurry of wickets in the last 2 overs, with an impressive direct hit run out from Watts, seeing Cambridge to 77 all out from their allotted 20 overs.

Oxford knew that they were in the driving seat after a promising performance in the field, but the early wicket of opener Chatterji in the first over, proved Cambridge were not giving up quite so soon. The introduction of Lucy Stuchfield saw an impressive 51 run partner- ship off just 41 balls with Ellie Bath, to see Oxford take control. Stuchfield ended her knock of 31 from 24 balls, as she was trapped leg before from the bowling of Nikhila Ravi. Gough was then able to join Bath at the crease, which provided the vital innings for the Oxford team to build around of 29, as Oxford chased down their target at ease with 7.5 overs to spare.

Oxford now go into the 50-over Varsity match at Lord’s in a strong position, looking for a hat trick of wins over the Tabs for the season.

The Women’s 50-over Varsity cricket match dates back to at least the 1960s and was originally a declaration contest. This was changed to the modern 50-over format of the game in 1996, and has remained this way since then.

At first the venue of the match alternated between The Parks (in Oxford) and Fenner’s (in Cambridge), however from 2001 onwards the match has been contested at Lord’s cricket ground in London.

The Women’s match takes place on the Nursery Ground, behind the main stage, and concurrently with the men’s Varsity match which is played on the Main Ground.

The matches are followed by a joint reception in the Long Room, one of the most prestigious interiors at any sports ground in the world.

The 2013 season was very successful, with OUWCC finishing at the top of their league and gaining promotion in BUCS. However, the main event, the Varsity 50-over match, was washed out last year, so the team go into this year’s fixture with extra determination to win.

The Women’s game has been growing from strength to strength in recent years, becoming more popular with live audiences as well as on television. This growth is particularly evident in Oxford. Past and current members of OUWCC have represented England, England U21, County XIs and the British Universities Com- bined XI.

The game is also accessible to anyone who wants to play. As a result of the high standard of coaching, many of the players join OUWCC as complete beginners and leave as important members of the team.

The cricket Varsity matches are to be held on Friday 20th June this year at Lord’s. Last year’s Men’s fixture proved very exciting with Sam Agarwal breaking the Varsity batting record. The fixture draws large crowds to the home of cricket, and is set to be a great day.

Second city blues: Fancy another relegation battle?

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Iconic Liverpool Manager Bill Shankly’s assertion that, “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death; I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that” is oft-quoted, but it remains accurate, and amidst the focus on glory, it’s easy to forget that Shankly’s words are true even for the less successful sides.

The rivalry between Birmingham and Aston Villa exemplifies this: it is close, personal and passionate – a tribal war which straddles families and stretches right across the second city. It was wrought in the fire of working class passion; back when the Football League was in its infancy, massed armies of workers poured out of the then ‘workshop of the world’
in search of entertainment and a bit of aggression when the neighbours came to visit.

It has been three years since Alex McLeish’s Birmingham team exited the Premier League. This season, a 93rd minute equaliser from Paul Caddis saw the side hold onto their Championship status by the very tips of their fingers – a huge sigh of relief was exhaled by the blue side of Birmingham.

In the other half of the city, that sigh was replicated. Surviving a third successive relegation battle for Aston Villa – which would have seemed a remarkable fact during the club’s moderately successful period under Martin O’Neil – has become an accomplishment, although something that has caused fans to lose faith in both manager, Paul Lambert and chairman, Randy Lerner, who’s now openly looking to sell the club.

It’s beginning to seem a long time since hostilities were renewed between these two ‘second city’ sides. A rivalry renowned for being intense, spirited and occasionally violent, is a distant memory, a boring one-all draw at St. Andrews in January 2011 being the last time the two rivals locked horns.

When was it, then, that this derby started? The first meeting between the two teams took place on 27th September 1879. With City then going by the name of ‘Small Heath Alliance’, this noncompetitive match ended 1-0 to Aston Villa. Fast-forward eight years, and in the 1887 FA Cup, Villa won the first competetive game between the two 4-0. 135 years after their first meeting, the claret-and-blue half of Birmingham are undoubtedly top dogs, with Villa winning 51 of the 117 matches (City win- ning 37, and 29 draws).

However, a recent meeting in December 2010 showed why it is that this rivalry is one that is feared by those emotionally invested in either team. In the campaign that finished with the Blues beating Arsenal in the Carling Cup final, the two teams were drawn against each other in the quarter-finals. Nikola Zigic’s late winner sealed a 2-1 victory against Gerard Houllier’s Villa side which thus prompted a mass pitch invasion at the end of the match by City fans. Villa supporters were locked in the away end, and flares and missiles were thrown between the two sets of fans.

This match represents, unfortunately, the turbulent history between the two sides. Violence has marred many derbies and it is not only the fans that get emotionally involved, but the players too. A moment to remember was when Villa striker, Dion Dublin, landed a rather startling headbutt on City stalwart Robbie Savage. At the same time that Paul Caddis equalised, I, with a large proportion of other fans, was eagerly awaiting the news of whether our hated rivals had gone down. Indeed, this kind of schadenfreude has been the only fun available to Villa fans in recent years . This feeling, experienced by long-suffer- ing Birmingham City fans too, shows just why fans of clubs like the two in Birmingham relish having two derby matches a season.

Football fans should never revel in someone’s death

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Most truly great things in life have a dark side: Batman; the moon; Oreos. Foot- ball is, unfortunately, no exception.

Sometimes, the offences of which the sport is guilty are simply amplifications of prejudices and attitudes that occur to some extent in society at large. Give a closet racist the frenzy and anonymity of a football match, and that usually latent racism might just be teased out; give a group of thugs an excuse to fight, and they will do so. These, to my mind, are not problems with the sport itself, but rather simply coincidental issues: football matches happen to facilitate antisocial and unacceptable behaviour.

The reaction of some Manchester United fans to the death of club owner Malcolm Glazer last week barely even registers as a football scandal. The reaction, however, was nonetheless startling: this was not just the expression of hatred by a few prejudiced individuals who found in football a suitable theatre for their vitriol, but rather a whole middle ground of passionate football fans who felt their hatred to be justifiably derived from football itself.

What, then, was this reaction? There were, of course, any number of tweets from people who are apparently still yet to work out that what they say on Twitter is accessible to everyone – tweets which, predictably, were outspoken in their gloating delight at an old man’s death. Some of these, naturally, had insidious overtones of prejudice and hatred. The grim reality is that Twitter is a forum for all kinds of vitriol. A few weeks ago, when the Boston Bruins ice hockey team fell prey to the talents of P.K. Subban, a black player appearing for the Montréal Canadiens, the word ‘n*gger’ began trending in Boston. Twitter, just like sports matches themselves, offers an illusion of ano- nymity that tempts the despicable to come crawling out of the woodwork.

Given the nature of Twitter and its chequered history, then, the hateful reaction of a few was only to be expected. What startled me was not the reaction of those who revelled leeringly in the death under the guise of anonymity, but rather the callous, cold response of semi-public figures in the footballing world. Take, for example, the frankly pathetic statement given by Andy Walsh, general manager of FC United, the splinter club set up in protest against the Glazer takeover. Walsh could muster no condolences, no regret at the passing of an old man: all he could bring him- self to say was that Glazer had “taken advantage” of the “lack of regulation” in the game, and had “caused a lot of pain in this city”. As a United fan myself, I spend much of my time reading fan blogs, the best of which – and by far the biggest – being ‘Republik of Mancunia’. Taking a well earned break having written the first few lines of the introduction to an essay last week, I checked the blog for news, to be greeted only with the stark headline ‘Glazer Dead’. The Twitter page for the blog, meanwhile, suggested “Jelly and ice cream?”, a reference to the ‘having a party when [genocidal murderer / puppy killer / ruthless despot / football club owner] dies’ school of hilarious chants. Again – no sympathy, no condolences, only satisfaction.

This is a phenomenon that has been seen before. Only last year, the death of Margaret Thatcher provoked a slew of Twitter celebrations and even street parties – the depressingly widespread nature of the joy expressed was demonstrated as Judy Garland’s ‘Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead’ soared to the top of the iTunes charts. The reaction was, in my view, sickening; it was nevertheless in some perverted sense understandable. Thatcher had, according to her detractors, ruined lives – as Prime Minister, she certainly had the power to do so. Malcolm Glazer, as owner of Manchester United Football Club, had no such powers. Sure, having to watch Marouane Fellaini stomp around the pitch with all the poise and technique of Treebeard came pretty close to ruining my life. But this is football, not life.

Malcolm Glazer did not leave millions unemployed. Malcolm Glazer was not responsible for unprecedented levels of national inequality. Malcolm Glazer never tried to introduce a poll tax. What, then, did Malcolm Glazer do? Glazer took over Manchester United using the mechanism of a leveraged buyout, and consequently saddled the club with debt. The trail of death, destruction and ‘pain’ left by this takeover includes five Premier League titles, three League Cups, five Com- munity Shields, a Champions League and a FIFA Club World Cup. True, ticket prices have risen – but this has been the case at almost every Premiership club. True, Manchester United still, unbelievably, have not addressed problems with their squad quality – but given the amount of money thrown at the problem, and Sir Alex Ferguson’s constant reassurances that the Glazers provided him with as much money as he ever asked for, it seems wrong to blame Malcolm Glazer for this situation.

None of this, however, is relevant. By engag- ing with a debate about whether Glazer was ‘good’ for United, we implicitly legitimise the view espoused by the tweeters and bloggers referred to above: the view that footballing considerations, if they are strong enough, may override basic human decency, that if a man damages the prospects of success for our club, it is in some way justified to revel in his death. This, to me, is football gone too far.

Loading the Canon: Flashman

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George MacDonald Frazer is a genius. From his pen leaps the fully grown bounder, cad and all round rascal that is the inimitable Harry Flashman (VC KCB KCIE). If one reads Tom Brown’s Schooldays one finds the youthful Flashy roasting young boys and all the rest of it. Frazer takes this vile specimen of humanity and, in the form of his own memoirs, places him in every great battle of the Nineteenth Century, from the Charge of the Light Brigade, to the Indian Mutiny, to Little Bighorn and Custer’s Last Stand. And all the while Flashman – like all true bullies a tremendous coward – is quaking in his spurred cavalryman’s boots.

Frazer is as much an historian as anything, and the “memoirs” are so ac- curate that many (especially, it has to be said, our friends on the other side of the pond) are led to believe that this character really did bounder his way across the bed sheets of history and live to write his own brilliant account of his womanizing exploits. Thus Florence Nightingale, Prince Albert, George Custer and Lord Cardigan are all completely convincing, and, one feels, true to their actual selves.

But perhaps Frazer’s greatest achievement is to construct a character whom one loves but is in every way awful. In one memorable episode, Flash is racing across the frozen wastes of the Russian winter in a sled, escaping the captivity of a fearsome noble, having picked up his beautiful daughter along the way, pursued by a band of equally fear- some men on horseback. As the men gain, Flashman has a brilliant idea. Undoing the canvas, he casts the naked and sleeping girl (whose room he has been visiting nightly for the last month or so) from her nest of furs, straight out upon the snow, the sled speeding off into the distance, freed of unnecessary weight!

And yet we still love him. He promises to elope with a French prostitute in New Orleans, only to sell her to a native American tribe. And we still love him. Why? Because, I think, he is never the overlord. He is always the underdog, trying to desperately to escape trouble and live an easy life, and always, somehow, failing. The archetypal coward, he invariably, by some incredible stroke of luck, comes out as the hero. He heads the charge into the guns at Balaclava due to a bolting horse, and is awarded the VC after the Indian Mutiny for trying to do little more than chasing after an exotic queen. Very few books are as much fun as the Flashman series. I only wish I hadn’t read them all already.

Beyond amphetamine-fuelled parties and silk screen prints

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When David Hockney exhibited iPad drawings at his exhibition at the Royal Academy in 2012, the art world was be- mused. Many were unsure as to what to make of them. Some treated the works as cutting edge artistic practice. What they failed to appreciate, though, was that such art has a surprisingly long history, which has been recently enriched by the discovery of lost computer art by Andy Warhol.

Andy Warhol doesn’t need much introduction. Feted and hated in equal measure, his art is as recognisable as Michelangelo’s and is the quintessential artistic product of the consumerist phase of the Twentieth Century. His “Factory”, a base for the mass production of work and amphetamine-fuelled parties, is now legendary. Seemingly there is little more that could prompt further recognition of his artistic genius.

Then this year it was announced that previously unknown artworks by Warhol had been discovered on a 1985 floppy disc. The reaction was one of uncontained excitement. That the man who was at the cutting edge of technological advancements in art had turned his hand towards the digital sphere was an intriguing prospect.

The Amiga® floppy disks were found in the archives of the Andy Warhol Museum and extracted by members of the Carnegie Mellon University Computer Club in conjunction with numerous experts. The artworks are the result of Warhol’s commission by Commodore International to explore the graphic arts capabilities of an Amiga personal computer. Cory Arcangel, a “Warhol fanatic and lifelong computer nerd”, discovered the existence of this commission from an advert on YouTube. Suspecting that the artist may have produced such artworks he approached the Andy Warhol Museum for permission to comb its archives for evidence to support his theory. His hunch proved correct. This was in 2011.

A painstaking process followed in which Arcangel, with the assistance of various computer experts, slowly succeeded in discovering the images. It was established early on that at- tempting to read the data on the disks could destroy the content. New and delicate methods had to be devised. In 2013 the CMU Computer Club, in collaboration with various other individuals and organisations, had formulated a plan for extracting the data. It worked, and to their delight 28 previously unknown digital images, 11 of which featured Warhol’s signature, were discovered.

The contents are fascinating. Some of Warhol’s most famous and iconic works are rein- vented in the digital medium. While visually enthralling they are also engaging on a personal level. By the 1980s Warhol was widely regarded as a spent artistic force. His artwork was produced to sell and he was accordingly criticised as a “business artist”. Indeed his justification for an exhibition of ten portraits displayed at the Jewish Museum in New York was “they’re going to sell”. He was thought to be breaking no new ground and was regarded as a curious survivor of the pop art age; a genius whose art had failed to evolve.

These newly discovered images conclusively prove this now-defunct argument to be thoroughly incorrect. They are the work of an artist constantly exploring his own legacy, rein- venting his past and seeking new mediums in which to do so. If one was told to choose the two images which are most readily associated with Warhol, the answer would, most probably, be Marilyn Monroe and a tin of Campbell’s soup.

That he would be willing to reinvent these images with which he is inextricably linked is testament to an artist ever committed to breaking new ground. It shows in the art. While Mon- roe, soup cans and his famous banana – which became synonymous with The Velvet Underground – all feature, there are also doodles, screenshots of a desktop and self portraits.

News of the discovery of new works are often received in a misleading way. A newly discovered Rembrandt sketch, say, might be lauded as his greatest ever artwork simply by virtue of its being new. The reaction to these computer images however has been wholly sincere and illuminating. Matt Wrbicon, the chief archivist at the Warhol Museum, has commented on the fascination of seeing the results of a “mature artist who had spent about 50 years developing a specific hand-to-eye coordination now suddenly grappling with the bizarre new sensation of a mouse in his palm held several inches from the screen”.

No doubt he resisted the urge to physically touch the screen.

It had to be enormously frustrating, but it also marked a huge transformation in our culture: the dawn of the era of affordable home computing. We can only wonder how he would explore and exploit the technologies that are so ubiquitous today. It is an intriguing thought.

6th Week in Fashion

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‘Coming Soon To a Woman Near You’

The Most Newsworthy in Fashion and Trends

Rihanna – Some might say that this begs a greater paragraph description, or a more detailed dissection of the Adam Selman dress. I think all that’s needed is the picture below:

Bailey Awarded – David Bailey, one of the most iconic photographers in fashionhistory, was presented with an honorary degree from the University of East London for his “outstanding contribution to the arts” at London’s National Portrait Gallery.

Blunt Style – fashion has long graduated from the catwalks of London, Milan and Paris. Fashionistas everywhere have eagerly followed style stars such as Blake Lively around the world on their red carpet appearances. This week is the week of Emily Blunt, who has been jetsetting around the world for her new film Edge of Tomorrow. See a preview below:

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Always No. 5 – the days where commercials were just a by-product of a company have changed: the illustrious perfume that is Chanel No. 5 is being transformed into a motion picture, directed by Baz Luhrmann and featuring Gisele Bundchen. This follows hot on the heels of that famous Marilyn Monroe Chanel No. 5 advert that managed to spike sales of the perfume around this time last year.

World Cup Style – Beyond designing for tours and celebrities, Giorgio Armani has revealed sketches he’s done for the German football club, Bayern Munich. This is part of a three year made-to-measure and designing contract with the team. 

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OUSU’s new election regulations risk fairness

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It’s not often someone gets up at OUSU Council and talks for 5 straight minutes about changes to electoral regulations. Much rarer still is the student press turning round and thinking that such matters are important and deserve wider attention, and asking people to write articles about them. Well, surrealy, both happened to me after I stood up in 5th week Council to explain why I wasn’t sure about a series of revisions to OUSU’s election rules. I’m very grateful to the Cherwell for giving me this opportunity to write about them ahead of 7th week Council, where the final vote on them will be taken.
 
Having been involved with two changes of OUSU’s electoral regulations, including a major rewriting in 2012, I know that sometimes the arguments can be technical and boring. But I also believe that the representation of students is the core concern of OUSU, and it should do everything it can to make the elections fair, accessible and as unrestricted as possible.

These regulations are a step in the wrong direction: with unnecessary regulations, making it harder for those who aren’t already involved in OUSU to take part, and removing important safeguards to ensure fairness.

Perhaps the two greatest changes are coming to the way we elect NUS Delegates to represent us at NUS conference. These have been occasioned by the NUS’ decision to introduce gender quotas for delegations from universities – now, instead of electing five, we have to elect 6, and at least three have to self-identify as women. The most important problem this creates is deciding on an electoral system that both keeps the students’ votes equal and ensures that (at least) the necessary number of women are elected.

However, the draft changes leave the electoral system for NUS unspecified. So, unlike all the other positions, it’s not clear from the outset how students’ votes will be counted. Instead of being explicitly regulated, Council will make policy for this purpose at some future point. There’s a technical distinction here: election regulations require two votes (at different meetings) and a two-thirds majority to change, whereas Council policy requires only a simple majority at one meeting. If a slate thought that they would gain an advantage under a different system than the one initially proposed, it would be much easier for them to ‘stuff’ OUSU Council and change the system in the run-up to elections.

Yes, designing an appropriate system is hard, but other parts of the NUS already have systems that meet our requirements – we should specify the system in regulation.

The other effect of leaving the system for Council policy is that it becomes much harder for a student who doesn’t know their way around OUSU’s governing documents and policies to work out what she can expect if she wants to stand for NUS delegate.

Since representation of students is the reason OUSU exists, it shouldn’t be making standing to represent students any harder than it needs to be.

The second is that, the number of NUS delegates that ‘slates’ – the groups of candidates who campaign for each other – can put forward is reduced from 5 to 4, despite the number of positions to be elected increasing from 5 to 6. This is an unwarranted restriction on student choice: slates form along policy lines and it’s not possible for slates to campaign for one another. So if, for instance, students really wanted to send 6 far-left delegates, or 6 centre-right delegates, or 6 ‘gin-and-tonic’ delegates, they’d be unable to because of the restrictions on slate size.

Another change I believe is particularly unfair is a change which would allow the Returning Officer (RO), the person running the elections, to disqualify candidates in certain circumstances.

If a candidate completes their nomination in the wrong way, and the RO doesn’t spot this and approves the nomination, this can lead to candidates running who, for whatever reason, shouldn’t have been able to run. Something like this happened in 2013, but instead of the RO disqualifying the candidate, the question was referred to an independent external panel.

Decisions to disqualify candidates are always contentious and should be considered by people who are removed from the day-to-day running of the election so that a proper sense of perspective is maintained. It is for this reason that the RO, currently, has no power to disqualify candidates in any circumstance. But the change does give the RO this power.

What is worse, it gives the RO this power to disqualify and does not give the candidate a right of appeal. This is particularly unfair since candidates who seemingly nominated successfully would have invested considerable time and perhaps money into their campaign, leaving them possibly out-of-pocket and behind in their academic work with no way of reviewing the case at OUSU.

Those who propose it say that this will make adjudication of certain complaints quicker: they are, of course, right. But in speeding up the process, they’re violating important principles that secured the fairness of these regulations.

There are lots of other small things in the regulation changes that aren’t good for OUSU as well. For instance, the regulations that govern how campaigns can engage with media are going to be kept as ‘directions’ (instructions the RO makes at the beginning of the election) rather than be put as regulation. But the direction is unlikely to change year-to-year.

In the same way as the NUS voting system, this gives an unfair advantage to people who already know OUSU well, since they will know roughly what sort of conduct is expected, whereas people coming in won’t. But there are lots of other small changes – some good, some bad – but the overall, the changes mark a step in the wrong direction.

Why do I think that? What’s the headline reason to oppose these changes? These changes make elections easier for OUSU, broadly construed: not only the people running the election, but also for the people who regularly attend OUSU Council, the people who are already building their slates and the people who know how OUSU works.

For the people who are more distant from OUSU – which are most Oxford students, given how few ever turn up to OUSU Council or vote in elections – they make it harder to understand what’s going on, harder to get involved, and harder to tell OUSU what it might not want to hear. And in some cases, the changes have prioritised ease of running the election over fairness.

I know it’s trite, but I really do believe in direct election as one of the most effective ways for ordinary students to get their union doing what they want; elections should never be simply a ritual we go through as painlessly as possible to legitimise the status quo. But for direct election to be effective for this purpose, it needs to be fair, accessible, and as unrestrictive as possible. The changes to the regulations are a step the other way.

These new electoral regulations will make it harder for students to tell OUSU and the NUS what they think and disadvantage candidates running from outside the current OUSU crowd. We should ask OUSU to think again about these changes.

Interview: Martin Brown

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Do you know the answer to this question? As follows. ‘Which war saw the first major use of hot air balloons?’

Well, if only someone had given the answer to me, aged ten. A true aficionado, ten-year-old me entered the Horrible Histories tenth anniversary competition. After popping to the post, however, I realised I’d got a qualifying question – that question – wrong. In sorry tatters lay my wispy wish to meet the makers of my favourite history books. I like to think I eventually got over this unhappy episode.

No irony was lost on me, then, while I sat, aged twenty-one, in an Oxford Literary Festival workshop, watching illustrator Martin Brown entertain a cosy audience. The average age of my co-spectators was approximately eight-and-three-quarters. A little awkward, perhaps. But eleven years late is better than never, I suppose.

“That’s a potato,” exclaims Brown, leaning back from a dubious attempt to draw a freehand circle. Cue wild giggles from the small crowd, enraptured by his scribble. He tries drawing a horse. “There’s a technical term for drawing things like horses,” he remarks, pausing: “Hard.”

When calling to mind the Horrible Histories series – described by publishers Scholastic as their “crown jewels” – readers will often check Terry Deary, who wrote them. Yet how much text could you quote? Or do you immediately see the loud, vibrant illustrations of Martin Brown, which, as a friend of mine once swore, “terrified the living Christ out of me”? His boisterous characters, robed in rudely faithful detail, are the skin of the memory, the faces of the horrible history cherished by many an impish childhood.

I put this to him afterwards, in a quiet, appropriately antique back room. You’re basically Horrible Histories, I said. Anyone else drawing the books wouldn’t be quite the same. “That’s very kind of you to say,” replied Brown, “but I wasn’t the only illustrator!”

This modesty is characteristic of him. Brown is usually tucked up in Dorset with his wife and daughters, out of public view – in stark contrast to partner-in-crime Deary, who periodically frequents the broadsheet interview circuit. Even just a few months ago, I was convinced he was living in Australia.

Not so. He’s been hoofing around this sceptred isle since 1989, a suitably historic year by all accounts. Brown’s first step on the ladder was a Scholastic series titled Coping With – teachers, parents, and so on – for which Brown and the author, Peter Corey, put together histories on each subject. “We liked it so much, we asked: could we do a Coping With History? The editors tapped their noses and said, ‘Hold that thought. Something’s come through I think you’d be interested in.’” Terry Deary had sent in a manuscript.

Thus, a partnership was ordained – “a perfect symbiotic relationship”, declares Brown. But with Deary in Durham, they generally don’t get much facetime. No dinners at Terry’s? “There would be if we were a tad closer. I’d like to see him more often, socially.” He laughs. “But we get along brilliantly.”

Brown spent his Melbourne childhood “constantly doodling”. Unsurprisingly, he excelled at art. He laments complacency though, and “very nearly failed” in sixth form; having intended to enter graphic design, he started training as an art teacher instead. But he didn’t even finish that, scuttling after three years to be a dogsbody in an ABC television studio. At no point, however, did he ever drop his pencil: always experimenting, always drawing.

Brown’s craft found a home, but only after upping sticks and ending up in London. He worked at Harrod’s (“I’d draw the customers and stick them up where they couldn’t see them”) before landing a job at London Graphics, which delivered art supplies to practically everyone who was anyone in the publishing world. By sheer sudden luck, he was at the heart of the business, with pretty much every phone number of every potential employer in the country on his desk.

His itinerant streak resurged. “I thought one day, ‘now or never’: I quit, called myself a cartoonist, stocked myself up with as many numbers and names I could remember, and started phoning people.” Then he took to the doorsteps, and the rest is, of course, horrible history.

Brown’s visual style is distinctive: all huge goggling eyes and big squidgy noses dressed up with exquisite historical precision; precision that he used to get from children’s non-fiction sections of libraries and, these days, from Google Images. He still nurses a soft spot for titles like The Vicious Vikings and The Savage Stone Age (“for once I could relax a bit about the costumes”). The jokes are impressively, effortlessly witty. Considering the young audience, the humour has remarkably sophisticated, age-wide appeal. Was that deliberate? Where did that come from?

From wide set of influences, it turns out. Illustrators, like Andrew Loomis, and strip cartoonists, like Johnny Hart, creator of B.C. (“where I get my eyes from”). Brown’s most intriguing inspirations are the great American editorial cartoonists, names like Ron Cobb and Pulitzer recipient Jeff MacNelly, father of the Shoe comic strip. “If I could get those wry payoffs, growing up,” he maintains, “I don’t see why kids today couldn’t.”

In fact, so thoroughly is Brown immersed in the cartooning tradition that he wears the badge ‘illustrator’ with humble disquiet. “People call me an illustrator. I’m not,” he grins. “The world is full of amazing illustrators. I’m happy to do it, but I’m not so big on colour, or picture design. It scares me a bit – give me a four-strip ba-boom gag and I’m happy as larry.”

Perhaps the editorial cartoonist’s mantle appeals, given his heroes? Like fellow children’s illustrator Chris Riddell, who has gone from carving dragons and monsters on the page to carving up George Osborne in the Observer. “Jealous? Oh, absolutely,” says Brown emphatically. He’d jump at the opportunity. “Editorial cartooning is the pinnacle of the art. Chris Riddell aside, I actually don’t think it’s always done particularly well in this country. I grew up looking at Australian and American editorial cartoonists, books and books of just stunning stuff. To be able to both produce such beautiful pieces of artwork, and include just that clever little twist or dig… it’s genius.”

And serious, too. “There are cartoonists outside the West doing what I’d be too timid to do, and being threatened and banned and all sorts, just for shining a light,” he adds admiringly. Portraying the past is, however, weighty work as well, as he is keen to stress. History, after all, is just another battlefield: his own way of paying his dues to truth.

The ten-year-old in me reluctantly anticipates the end of the hour, but insists on one last act. Awkwardly, I push forward a natty blue exercise book. It’s an imitation ‘Horrible Histories’ I drew in primary school, one of many inspired by his illustrations. He picks it up and flicks through it, smiling interestedly at my pencil frieze period figures, all wearing his signature eyes and noses.

“Well, I love these,” he murmurs brightly, “They’re charming.” He might be lying, but that hardly mattered. I had fully reverted from interviewer to child. “Will you sign it?” I ask, rather sheepishly. Of course he would. “But it’s usually the author who signs his own book,” quips Brown.

In my mind, I was back in the workshop audience. My ten-year-old self is gripped. I know the answers now. The war that saw the first major use of hot air balloons? The American Civil War, of course. Stepping away from the whiteboard, Martin Brown turns to offer a tip. “Keep drawing,” he urges, “If you don’t, your horse will always look like a sausage.”