Saturday 11th April 2026
Blog Page 1390

Christ Church newlyweds achieve internet fame

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Christ Church student Inigo Lapwood and new wife Alice Blow starred on Facebook page “Humans of Amsterdam” on Wednesday, a week after tying the knot in Christ Church meadows.

The photo, which had received over 10,000 Facebook ‘likes’ by Thursday evening, was accompanied by an explanatory comment by Lapwood on how he met Blow in “this horrible club called ‘The Purple Turtle’”, and subsequently proposed to her five times.

The photo has been received positively on the page, with one commenter declaring them the “coolest looking couple ever. Extra marriage points for keeping a good wardrobe.”

It is perhaps fortunate that the two appear to be unfazed by publicity – months after achieving university-wide notoriety through being forced to live on a houseboat after bringing a flamethrower to a Christ Church bop, Lapwood invited over 400 guests to a Facebook page for the couple’s wedding.

On the ceremony, Lapwood told Cherwell, “We had two very moving readings. Romeo and Juliet’s balcony scene featured. Joe Miles very kindly offered to play the part of Romeo, with David Browne his Juliet. Never before has the animosity between the Montagues and Capulets been presented so vividly, nor the forbidden love so passionately. I have it on good authority that people cried.”

He continued, “the other great classic of romantic literature, Jason Derulo’s ‘Talk Dirty To Me’, was kindly and seriously rendered by the best man, Tom Ough.”

However, Lapwood described their appearance on the ‘Humans of Amsterdam’ page as “kinda tragic”. He lamented, “you just can’t stroll around Amsterdam anymore looking for prostitutes and decriminalised drugs with your new wife, without some blogger coming along and misrepresenting your affection for the purple turtle. I tried to explain the true nature of our relationship with the club, but Stockholm syndrome didn’t translate that easily into Dutch.”

Nevertheless, “the honeymoon has been great,” he declared. “That said, given that we met in the PT, and endured an eight hour Megabus journey together on our second date, pretty much any subsequent joint activities seem comparatively great.”

Review: 22 Jump Street

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★★★☆☆

Three Stars

“It’s always worse the second time around.” So begins Deputy Chief Hardy as he sits 21 Jump Street heroes Schmidt and Jenko down at the beginning of the franchise’s latest instalment and outlines a plot almost identical to that of the first film.

Once again, the premise is simple: Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum return as Schmidt and Jenko, the dysfunctional buddy-cop partnership who went undercover as high school students in the first film. Moving across Jump Street into a new headquarters at number 22, this time they are sent undercover as college students to investigate the hilariously-named drug WHYPHY (“Work Hard Yes, Play Hard Yes”). Ice Cube also makes a comeback as Captain Dickson, the duo’s supervisor. With all the old elements in place that made 21 Jump Street great, the bromance begins again, set to a bromantic Diplo soundtrack yet with some nicely-observed classic elements of college life thrown in: the walks of shame, the “inspiring” but actually slightly embarrassing professors with just a little too much passion for teaching, the awkward meetings of parents at the end of term.

From the outset, though, the action is underwhelming and juvenile, not funny, whilst the film’s attempts at emotional resonance are even more cringeworthy. Both characters go through laughable identity crises, which are both stupid and wholly unbelievable, in particular Schmidt’s as a sensitive art student. Tatum can pull off pretending to be a football jock in his sleep, but Jonah Hill, world expert on dick jokes and underage drinking, feeling an affinity for Picasso? It’s absurd. Channing Tatum has proven by now that he can act, at least a bit, and he brings a certain endearing earnestness to his performance. Hill, by contrast, plays himself in the same way he has for every role since Superbad. None of this is a huge surprise.

What is pleasantly fresh is the fact that whilst the action isn’t great, the self-aware banter is. At every moment, the convenience of the circumstances that allow for an identical Jump Street sequel are sent up, to the extent that as they move across the road to the new HQ (this time a disused Vietnamese rather than Korean church), luxury apartments are being built at 23 Jump Street: “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves”, Ice Cube warns. Simply put, it’s clever. The film avoids the pitfalls of making a sequel by very explicitly drawing the viewer’s attention to them. There are nods to the previous movie, too, but these enhance 22 for viewers of 21 whilst avoiding making it an in-joke that excludes newcomers.

By not taking itself too seriously, 22 Jump Street gets away with typically risqué humour and dumb slapstick action sequences. It pillories itself even into its end credits, briefly swapping Jonah Hill for Seth Rogen with no explanation. It’s fun, and doesn’t pretend to be anything more. One scene where Schmidt and Jenko trip on WHYPHY shouldn’t appeal to anyone over 13, but is somehow hilarious. In another, Jenko “breaks up” with the clingy Schmidt, telling him “I just think we should investigate other people for a while.” It is a perfect example of the film failing to manage an emotional moment between two fairly cardboard characters, but making up for it through comedy.

In all, the best of 22 Jump Street is vastly entertaining whilst the worst is dire, meaning the whole affair manages to be simultaneously dumb and clever. Yes, it has major flaws, but as one of the most self-aware Hollywood movies since the likes of Zombieland and Kick-Ass, it will appeal to film nerds and action movie junkies alike.

Glastonbury 2014: Kasabian

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Much controversy has surrounded Sunday night headliners of previous years at Glastonbury. Beyonce, Jay-Z and Mumford & Sons, all with chart-topping singles, were unable to escape the purist skeptics. The huge amount of media attention afforded to this slot is a testament to its importance, not only to the thousands of mud-caked festival goers but also to the festival’s organisers. Love it or hate it, the Sunday night slot is what defines the year’s festival, and Kasabian did little to disappoint. 

With their first Glastonbury appearance back in 2005, and a Pyramid performance in 2009, the group looked totally at ease stepping onto the stage. The ban plugged a number of tracks from their new album, 48:13, not yet a month old; most notably ‘bumblebeee’ and ‘Eez-eh’, the latter of which will surely become an iconic Kasabian track.

Fans who hadn’t yet familiarized themselves with the album would have been pleased to hear that they have remained entirely faithful to the driving-rock sound of their very first album, only with an air of greater self-confidence that comes with a decade of experience.

Sergio Pizzorno was able to showcase his vocal talent in the middle of the set with an impressive cover of Gnarls Barkley’s ‘Crazy’, followed by lead vocals on the song he penned himself, ‘Take Aim’. Perhaps the most surprising addition to the band for the evening was not the return of former guitarist Christopher Karloff, but comedian Noel Fielding, whose comic, if slightly incredulous appearance as Vlad the Impaler added a touch of humour to proceedings.

However, the most memorable moments of this headline set were those of the tracks from their two earliest albums. ‘Empire’ was anthemic and during ‘Club Foot’the ground at Worthy farm quite literally shook. All in all, Kasabian did a slick and professional job, giving Michael Eavis plenty of reasons to invite the group back to the biggest headline slots in the festival calendar.

Glastonbury 2014: Highlights & Playlist

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Robert Plant – With rumours of Jimmy Page on-site, I was expecting big things from this set. Despite the great sideman not making an appearance I was far from disappointed. As the Led Zep frontman lifted the left edge of his top lip into a wry smile the place erupted. 9/10

The English National Ballet – I know what you’re thinking, but seriously this was incredible. On the 100th anniversary of the First World War the group performed a new piece set around the recounted memories of those who lost their loved ones. It was incredibly moving, and, with a splitting hangover at 11.30 on the Sunday morning, it was well worth getting up for. I’ve never heard the Pyramid stage so quiet. Close to tears. 7/10

Imagine Dragons – I was working during this act and was forced to watch, thinking I would hate it. The band turned up covered in designer mud with the lead guitarist clutching a solid gold axe – rock n’ roll. Thumping tunes, great stage presence but shame about the fanbase. 7/10

London Sinfonietta with Jonny Greenwood – I stumbled across this by mistake, having gone to the surprise set on the ‘Other’ stage and been disappointed by the Kaiser Chiefs. I’m not usually a fan of rockstar / orchestra collaborations – the latter often being consigned to sustained string sounds which may seem profound but are incredibly boring. This, on the other hand, was fantastic: Greenwood appears to have recently rediscovered himself as a successful film scorer whilst that Oxford side-project, Radiohead, are on a break. The Sinfonietta played some Steve Reich too – this offered the perfect vibe to facilitate stumbling into a happy afternoon. 8/10

The Rum Shack – I’ve got to admit, I’m not entirely sure who or what was playing at this one. The DJ, however, was the spitting image of Robin Williams. The Rum Shack itself is an incredible venue: set in a mock-Aztec style, you can dance under the stars with the open-top roof and awesome sound system. A cracking night (what I can remember of it) and a cracking end to Glasto. 10/10

 

 

Glastonbury 2014: What’s it all about?

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“And the rain came in from the wild blue yonder, through all the stages I wandered”.

Joe Strummer was pretty much spot on when he sang about Glastonbury in his final single, ‘Coma Girl’, back in 2003. The mud, the rain, the loos – it’s all part of what is  perhaps the most British of festivals. As I returned on the Tuesday morning for a second year working behind the scenes with the press I’ve got to admit that I was slightly disappointed by the glorious sunshine. However, the heavens well and truly opened on the Thursday afternoon, turning a little piece of West Somerset into almighty bog.

But what exactly is Glasto all about? By now, you will have heard of Metallica’s triumphant “here’s two fingers up to all the haters” headline set, the security guards dancing along to Dolly Parton, and perhaps even Banksy’s ‘Sirens of the Lambs’ being toured around the site. BBC’s ‘Glastovision’ would like us to think that the festival centres around the 90 minutes of each Pyramid stage headline act. Much like the World Cup, these acts are judged as triumphant or failing according to the final number. This just isn’t representative of reality.

Take the size, for example. For one weekend, this tiny piece of British countryside becomes the biggest town in the South West, the tenth biggest town in the country, and the most densely populated place in Europe. 165,000 people crowd onto the site – that’s 10,000 more than in the whole of Oxford – and each person comes back with an entirely different tale to tell.

The ‘secret set’, for example, is a feature entirely unique to Glasto. I saw four in total, including a beautifully intimate sunny afternoon with Lianne La Havas and a mental evening with Chase and Status down on the ‘Blues’ stage. These sets could not have been more different in terms of atmosphere yet they had one thing in common: the unique experience of being able to say ‘I was there’.

I’m still caught in the Glasto haze, as you can probably tell. Life is good and the world can be saved. I was even persuaded to sign up to Greenpeace (for a direct debit of £5 per month) by a very persuasive man with some equally persuasive dreadlocks.

The more people I spoke to the more I got the impression that there is ‘something for everyone’ at Glastonbury. One man pointed out the lack of advertising on-site, claiming that my Superdry t-shirt was a bit over the top. Another almost broke down into tears when I asked what he felt about Michael Eavis. I spotted the great man driving along by the ‘Park’ stage, where Yoko Ono was about to perform, in his Land Rover. Hoards of people ran after him just to shake his hand and say thanks.

Sitting on the sofa at home flicking between Wimbledon, the World Cup, and Dolly Parton might be fun, but bearing the mud, blood and grime to crawl to a tiny corner of the site to see a band that nobody has ever heard of is far more satisfying. That’s what Glastonbury is about.

National demonstration for free education planned

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A national demonstration in favour of free education has been called for Wednesday 19 November in central London. The protestors aim to demonstrate their opposition to tuition fees and steps towards privatisation in education.   

Occupations and other forms of local action are also being planned to occur in conjunction with the demonstration.

The protest seeks to bring together a coalition of student groups and campaigns from across the country.  Amongst the groups that have so far come out in support of the protest are the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts (NCAFC), the Student Assembly Against Austerity, the Young Greens, as well as some local university campus groups, such as Defend Education Birmingham.

The planned demonstration follows the National Union of Students passing a motion in support of free education, at its annual conference in Liverpool in April.

Beth Redmond of the NCAFC said, “Four years on from the election of the Coalition, it is clear that fees have failed. Whole areas of higher and further education are now off limits to anyone without rich parents, and education workers are being squeezed, sacked and outsourced. We are calling this demonstration to take the fight to the government and to demand a public education system that serves society and is free and accessible to everyone.”

James Elliott, a student at St Edmund Hall and member of the NCAFC National Committee, said, “Oxford students should have every reason to attend what could be one of the biggest demonstrations since 2010. Given our Vice-Chancellor’s appetite for £16,000 fees while cutting his cleaners’ pay packets, we should join with the rest of the student movement and demand an education system that is free, public and democratic.”

Oxford Activist Network member Xavier Cohen said, “I expect that the Oxford Activist Network will overwhelmingly vote to support this demonstration and campaign in common rooms for funding for transport so that Oxford students can protest en masse for free education.”

The Ben Sullivan case has exposed our victim blaming culture

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On Sunday evening The Oxford Student published an online article, also published on telegraph.co.uk despite being quickly taken down from the OxStu‘s website, entitled ‘Sullivan’s alleged “rape victim knew her claims were false”‘.

Needless to say, I was shocked when the link appeared on my newsfeed, yet the content proved to be far more breath-taking than I could have ever imagined. It severely compromised one of the alleged victims’ anonymity by divulging personal details and offered up information relating to the woman’s sexual history, conveniently slipped in, as if to suggest that this should make the alleged victim more predisposed to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with Ben Sullivan.

The article was not only legally dubious but also astonishingly slut-shaming, and displayed total ignorance of the importance of respect and protection for sexual violence survivors.

The article states how the woman in question “is understood to have described ‘collecting’ sexual encounters with Union politicians because it feels ‘glamorous’ and ‘naughty’ in an anonymous article”.

It baffles me that the author of this article thought it appropriate to include such comments in the context of an article which suggests that the victims’ claims were false, comments which strike me as bearing a worrying similarity to remarks often used by perpetrators of sexual violence.

I agree completely with the recent Tab article, ‘No, OxStu, being sexually active doesn’t mean you can’t be raped’, which states that these remarks in the Oxstu contribute to the perverse and sadly often widespread belief that a woman who is sexually active cannot be raped, which holds that she consents sometimes and therefore consents every time. This implies that she is, perhaps ‘asking for it’.

The OxStu comments are a clear example of victim blaming, which has been pervasive throughout coverage of the case. The Mail quoted an “anonymous” friend of Ben’s, who said that the pair had been kissing earlier in the evening. Previous sexual activity, or previous consent, does not mean that someone wants to have sex with someone later.

Consent is not absolute, and can be withdrawn at any time. The quotation given here simply reiterates the most regressive and ridiculous rape myths.

This was not the only element of the article which displayed a worrying outlook on consent. The article quoted the alleged victim as saying “I was far too drunk, that’s it” in the midst of a piece which infers that consensual intercourse occurred. However, intoxication can impair one’s ability to give consent. The presence and positioning of this phrase in the OxStu article suggests that it is possible or even likely that someone who is heavily inebriated can consent to sexual intercourse.

Finally, whilst the article prides itself on obtaining a Facebook conversation between Sullivan and the alleged victim and states that she “appears to have told Sullivan directly that she knew their affair was consensual”, it is highly likely that a victim of sexual violence will not directly state that they have been raped or sexually assaulted when facing their perpetrator.

As a template letter of complaint which is currently circulating on the popular feminist zine Facebook Page, Cuntry Living, states, the author’s failure to take this fact into account “shows a blatant disregard for the welfare of the women making allegations and to the 1 in 4 women who statistics tell us will be victims of sexual assault [whilst at university]. The message this sends out to survivors is that society doesn’t care about the nuances and complexities of their trauma and that people will seek to vilify you”.

I am impressed by the quick response of students to this damaging article. Cuntry Living is alive with shocked comments, template complaint letters aimed at proctors and Daily Telegraph writers and information packs on how to submit such complaints.

OUSU President Louis Trup and OUSU Vice President for Women Anna Bradshaw have also encouraged people to send in complaints to [email protected] so that they can fairly voice the varying concerns of students.

Yet I am saddened by the damage that this article has done. As Siobhan Fenton, author of the Tab article concludes, “Rape is never justified. Just writing that sentence seems so obvious as to be absurd. Yet yesterday’s piece in the OxStu is a chilling reminder that it needs to be said.” I cannot agree more. We must all work harder to ensure that these harmful ideas really are the beliefs of a tiny, woefully misguided minority. The women of Oxford deserve better.

Where Are They Now: Westlife

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My first concert was a Westlife one. I even have a commemorative 2001 bean filled bear to remind me of the occasion. It wasn’t something cool like Arctic Monkeys or a hazy recollection of Greenday at my first Reading festival. I was a full-blown, annual Wembley-stadium-gig-attending Westlife fan until the age of 12. So you can imagine my distress when, in 2011, they announced it would all be over after a Greatest Hits album and farewell tour. What a way to go.

However, the boys haven’t completely slipped through the dazzling net of stardom. Nicky and Kian became celebrity C-Listers with the former’s performance on Strictly Come Dancing and the latter’s win on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!

Alas, it has not been a happy ending for all. Frontman Shane announced almost immediately after the split that he was 18 million pounds bankrupt. But he’s bounced back with a solo career and appearance on X Factor, so there’s no stopping him now. That love for the music; sometimes you just can’t fight it.

Review: tUnE-yArDs – Nikki Nack

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It’s the third full-length release from experimental music project tUnE-yArDs, AKA Merrill Garbus. It’s a deliciously confusing and messy mixture of squeaky synths and world music drums.

From the dictaphone and GarageBand history of 2009’s BiRd-BrAiNs to the success of sophomore effort w h o k i l l in 2011, Garbus has never been one to shy away from exploring new sounds and layering them with commercial melodies. Nikki Nack is no exception.

On this record, Garbus drops the music completely on ‘Why Do We Dine On The Tots’, for a spoken interlude about Grandfather Lou and a Tupperware dish (and eating children.) Two tracks later, she’s deployed a pseudo R&B beat that quickly becomes overtaken by barking sound effect samples. It’s like listening to a vocoder wonderfully explode and the result being converted into a DJ set. It may not be catchy, but it’s certainly a party.

Yet, for the lack of obvious catchiness and powerful lyrical content to fill the gaps, Garbus tells us “we wouldn’t let them take our soil,” on ‘Left Behind’ in a defiant message amongst the musical madness. It’s high energy fun and fearlessness that is at the core of this record, but there’s no compromise on sophistication as a result.

Where Are They Now: Chumbawumba

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It’s the question that’s been on everyone’s lips since the late nineties. We all know they got knocked down, but did they really get back up again? Did Chumbawamba’s ‘Tubthumping’ just get to number one with big chat? The answer is, as you’d expect, yes. They maintained their position on the ground through the noughties, then broke up.

That’s not to say they haven’t tried. They attempted to fight the inevitable “One Hit Wonder” label with a plethora of invisible records, but everyone seemed to forget Chumbawamba’s existence after about 2000. Naturally, they had their memories jogged in 2007 when the song featured on the Alvin and the Chipmunks video game. It was a seminal reemergence for the anarcho-punk band, to be rivalled only by UKIP’s use of the song at the 2011 party conference.

Sadly, it all came to an ‘official split’ end in 2012. It was a travesty, but luckily 2013 brought the release of In Memoriam: Margaret Thatcher, an EP ode to the great leader recorded in 2005 to be released upon her death. Rumour has it David Cameron ordered a copy back in ‘07.