Saturday, May 10, 2025
Blog Page 1558

A long-standing, silent struggle

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At what point does being sad be­come depression? At what point does a pessimistic point of view become a problem? When does apathy about your very exist­ence become dangerous? These are questions that far too many people have to ask themselves nowadays, hid­den by a cloud of their own guilt and shame, unable to find help, left to flounder, seeking solace in silence.

I know because I’ve been there, and all the time I was struggling with my own mind, those around me were finding it very difficult to deal with me too. Depression is seen as an issue to be swept under the carpet, and yet it is an ill­ness which affects around one in four people each year. It is thus more prevalent than many other conditions which are equally as devastat­ing, but clearly something distinguishes it in our minds. Is it fear? A lack of understanding or ability to empathize? The fact that the long-standing silent struggle of depression suffer­ers has rendered the issue inaccessible to the average (I use this word loosely) person?

A few months ago, just before leaving for a year abroad, I decided I’d had enough of hiding away in the shadows of my own mind. I sudden­ly needed to expel the negativity I felt, to show people I was no longer afraid, and I wrote it all down. I published a blog, which I now use just so people know I haven’t got lost somewhere on the continent, and I told a bit of my story. Not all of it, because sometimes some things do need to be left unsaid, but enough so that I hoped people might understand.

The response I received was astounding; peo­ple I would never have imagined struggling with anything told me how my words echoed with how they had felt at some point in their life, and people who had never been depressed said they had gained some insight into what it can do to someone. I realised that the reason I had received these responses was because what I had done was so out of the blue, and so rare. This is the problem: those who have it are so quiet and ashamed that they leave every­one else blocked out from their pain, and that evolves into a fear and uncertainty surround­ing the entire issue.

It becomes easier to describe each time I try now. Things happen, life pushes you along, throwing all sorts of things at you which you must try and bat right back, and it just isn’t al­ways possible. Sometimes you miss, and those things start to knock you down, and eventually you end up on your knees, struggling to keep going. But that isn’t depression, although it is different for everyone. I think I would describe it as it is an emotional and physical manifesta­tion of an unbearable, draining, chronic sad­ness which is so deep rooted you cannot escape it. It’s there, living in your mind, and no matter what you do, it will always outrun you.

Depression crept up on me. At first I was con­vinced I hadn’t changed, but now I see that I had. I became irrationally worried about the tiniest of things, I stopped going out, leaving the house, leaving my room. I cried at any­thing, everything and nothing. I was tired all of the time but couldn’t sleep, my work as good as stopped. At that point, tutors got involved (of course), they encouraged me to get help. I rejected it. I didn’t want help, because this was all my fault, I didn’t deserve help, no one could help me anyway; this was just how I was. Things got worse, I became so caught up in my own mind that I felt that the only way to stop feeling so disconnected from anything physi­cal was to hurt myself, to use pain to bring me back to some semblance of the real, physical world. I was lost, and sure I would never find myself or a way out of what was happening to me and so I started considering ‘a way out’ in another sense. Soon after I realised that this was not normal and that I had changed far more than I ever thought I could.

It was at the point that I realised I had be­come dangerous to myself that I went back to my tutors, tried counselling (and absolutely hated it), went to doctors. The medication I was on made me sick, dizzy and constantly tired. I was so ill at the start I felt worse, but some­thing was different. I had regained some moti­vation. I started venturing out again, but this wasn’t easy at first. Feeling ready for the world only lasted for short bursts of time, resulting, for example, in one hideously em­barrassing incident where a tutor happened across me crying under a sink in my faculty library. But once the physi­cal reaction to the drugs had stopped, I was simply being. I certainly didn’t feel any better. But I also didn’t feel worse. I was just tired. I was sleeping for most of the hours of the day. I was allowed to miss essay after essay; it was a weird limbo.

However, slowly but surely I started achiev­ing more. Not necessarily feeling happier, although I did sometimes, but coping and do­ing things in spite of how I felt was a big step. What I have realised is that the medication is not there to fix your brain for you: that’s your job. It’s about working out how your own brain works; all the while it is trying to trip you up. A battle of the same will, one might say. I guess my point here is that it isn’t easy. In fact, it is the exact opposite, but it’s probably going to be worth it, because you’re guaranteed to get somewhere, as long as you are willing to fight through how you feel. It isn’t a question of be­ing able to do it; it’s a question of wanting to.

What is easy for me to see is that my year abroad could not have come at a better time. Although I was devastated to have to leave so many people in Oxford who I loved, and who had been all of the support I had needed over the past year, an escape from the pressure here was a breath of fresh air. Of course, I had new battles to fight, and I had to learn all over again how to cope – because now I really was alone. I couldn’t just call someone to come and sit with me for some time until the feelings had started to pass.

However, this has been good for me. I could never have managed it straight away but I have come far enough in my recovery that time was now all I needed. Being in France has given me that; I don’t have essays to write every week, or numer­ous lengthy commitments every day. If I ever feel that I just can’t cope with something, lying down and closing my eyes until it goes away is a real possibility now. Of course that has made a huge differ­ence; it hasn’t made me bet­ter, but it’s given me the chance to help myself.

Telling people you are struggling is never easy, it’s like admitting to all your personal faults and weaknesses at once. And asking for help is even worse, especially if you are as stubborn as I am! But it’s worth it, because suffering from depression is so unbelievably hard. I found it nigh on impossible to help my­self when I felt I was doing it alone, and even though those you love may not understand why or how, or what to do to help, at the very least talking can help. Plus, they might sur­prise you, and themselves, with what they can do to help you.

I’m still not on a clear track to being com­pletely better: on the whole I cope now, and am generally happier on a day to day basis. I’m becoming the person I remember again. But I am wary, because depression has this sneaky way of tricking you. It can make you believe anything is true because it is your own mind talking to you, but it is a warped version of re­ality or fantasy that you are being fed, and it is so important to remember that. For me, the most important point I’ve drawn from this is that you have to talk about it, to those close to you, to others who feel the same, whether you know them or not. Because they are the people who can stop you from losing yourself. So tell some­one, and talk, make them or let them understand, because in the end, I bet what you are most afraid of is yourself. And believe me, if you’ve got the courage to talk to someone properly, there is nothing to be afraid of.

Focus on… Dance in Oxford

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Dream Again Dance Co. is a newly formed Oxford-based dance com- pany, making it the second to be founded here in the last two years. Impressive, you may say; that’s a fair amount of dancing going on. However, consider the fact that there have only been three theatrical dance shows put on in Ox- ford over the last four years, that Dream Again Dance is currently made up of solely female dancers, and that perhaps dance has not had the same spotlight shone on it as, say, the dra- ma and music scenes. That’s not to say the students of Oxford do not enjoy dancing. Indeed, anyone unhinged enough to grace the floors of Park End even mildly sober on a Wednesday night will be able to confirm that dancing is spectacularly indulged in by many. Thankfully, this is not what Emily Romain, Artistic Director of Dream Again Dance and co-choreographer for their upcoming show Dull Roots, Spring Rain, has in mind when she talks about dance. “We are trying to set up something that is looking at dance artistically, rather than competitively. There’s one other company [in Oxford], the Broad Street Dancers, but they’re more focused on doing lots of different styles of pure dance, and less focused on creating a more artistically cohesive theatre piece – that’s what we want to do.” And it looks like they are going to. Dull Roots, Spring Rain, which is to be performed at the Ke- ble O’Reilly theatre in 4th week is set to bring to the audience what sounds like an ambitious contemporary ballet piece. Romain explained, “It is a three-part dance show, thematically

linked, in which the central piece tells the sto- ry of Persephone in the underworld. That was our starting point for the show; the other two pieces are more abstract, which we developed out of the Persephone story. Overall, we are exploring the idea of grow- ing up and moving on, and reconciling one- self with the present after something has happened, after some innocence is lost. So in terms of Persephone’s story, the focus is very much on her journey in the underworld; how she loses her innocence and her girlhood, and how she moves through that.” Dream Again Dance is mainly a contempo- rary dance company, which Romain admits “has always been a niche thing”, placed on the same cultural level as opera and difficult to make accessible to a large proportion of the general public. In the past decade, dance as an art form has arguably been overshadowed by popular TV dance shows; watching Strictly

Come Dancing one would be forgiven for think- ing that dancing to tell a story or express meaning outside of a competitive arena had been relegated to the confines of grand thea- tres at high prices. However, the contemporary dance scene would appear to be experiencing something of a boom, with fashion designers and film directors choosing to work with bal- let companies. For example, Darren Aronof- sky’s Black Swan, despite the criticisms it met from actual dancers concerning the portrayal of the ballerinas, gave ballet a much-needed boost. Yet the theatres, at least in Oxford, seem “scared of dance because they think it won’t sell”. Romain, a life-long dancer herself and a very active member of the Oxford theatrical community, hopes to change this by getting more people involved and thus improving the overall standard, creating a company all about “pure dance”.

Preview: Dull Roots, Spring Rain

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Cherwell’s verdict: Promising but far from perfect.

Dull Roots, Spring Rain is a three part dance piece from the newly formed Dream Again Dance Company. The title perfectly summarises the state of Dull Roots, Spring Rain at this moment in time; somewhat insipid but with the potential to be so much greater.

Emily Romain, the Artistic director, describes the show as a “poignant exposition of the universal theme of growing up,” but what I encountered was not quite this. Of course the pieces were saturated with solemnity and contemplation, but the three interlinked dance pieces would be better described as an introduction to the themes and conventions of contemporary dance.

The show will last for only one hour and twenty minutes, short enough to keep the attention of contemporary dance virgins, but long enough to satisfy those with a more trained eye. The central themes of maturation and forgiveness are easily relatable and are portrayed well by the talented dance company.

The show comprises three separate but thematically linked pieces: Spring, Rain and Roots. I was only shown Roots and Rain, but I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the pieces. Roots explores the Greek myth of Persephone and the two other pieces also draw inspiration from this story. The combination of ancient myth and modern form worked surprisingly well together, although at points Roots seemed a bit forced. This is evident in the choice of title, a quote from T S Eliot’s The Waste Land. In order to convey the loss of innocence, the piece was overwhelmed by symbolism. The costumes will be black for parts of the piece and white for others and there will be projections depicting the story on the back wall. I found these additions slightly excessive, though as a newcomer to contemporary dance I accept they may be necessary to aid understanding.

The skill of the Romain, her co-choreographer and her dancers was obvious from the pieces, and the selection of music was also very apt. However, I did feel at points like the use of props, including white cardboard boxes, somewhat detracted from the dances.

Dull Roots, Spring Rain is an interesting introduction into the world of contemporary dance. Given a few more weeks to fully integrate the props and lighting into the piece, Dull Roots, Spring Rain could be a provocative piece of contemporary dance.

Where have all the good shops gone?

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You only have to walk down St. Giles to see one of the numerous casualties of the economic downturn. In October, JJB Sports became one of the 194 businesses that entered administration in the last 12 months, joining a host of high street names, including Clinton Cards, Comet and Blacks. With a contraction of 0.3% in the UK’s GDP in the last few months of 2012, and with Deloitte declaring it had taken over the operations of Blockbuster on January 16th, it would seem that 2013 could be another year where big names get publicity for all the wrong reasons – but why is it that an average of one retailer a week shut up shop in 2012?

Economists have a concept called ‘the shutdown condition’. Essentially, a company is better off producing nothing than producing any positive amount of goods if the price it gets for its products is less than the cost of producing the product, ignoring the ‘fixed costs’, like shop rental. Even if you discount the cost of renting the shop, the remaining costs, like paying staff and buying stock, are very expensive, and if revenue is not high enough to cover these, then the retailer can cut its losses by shutting down.

So why wouldn’t revenue be high enough? You would think that for a retailer like HMV, where they can buy stock well in advance ‘on speculation’ (i.e. expecting people to purchase it in the future), they would be able to turn a good profit. Unfortunately, without sufficient footfall in their shops, no retailer has a chance of turning a profit, regardless of how low the costs of procuring stock. Retailers like HMV, Jessops and Comet faced competition not only from their direct competitors, but from online outfits like Amazon, and from companies which could cross-subsidise their sales – Sainsbury’s for example, was able to sell blockbuster game ‘Modern Warfare 2’ more cheaply than most specialist stores because it would cover the relative losses with its profits from food sales. The profits from HMV’s retail arm fell from £24 million in 2011 to £1.3 million in 2012, a sign of just how dire the situation had become. This didn’t even correspond to a rise in the profits of their competitors – the Game Group entered administration last year, having reported multiple profit warnings to its investors in 2011, and with reports that suppliers were unwilling to do business because of unpaid bills.

However, it’s not just the existence of competitors that has driven many retailers into administration; a general change in technology has heralded the fall of retailers who were reliant upon now-defunct goods, like Jessops and GAME. Jessops specialised in digital cameras and accessories, and yet most smartphones now have cameras that can take pictures and record in high definition. Similarly, Blockbuster, 2013’s first high-profile casualty, specialised in video and DVD rental, but the rise of Lovefilm, Netflix and other download-orientated retailers with much lower costs (and who could charge less) left them unable to compete. Does this mean the demise of these companies was inevitable? No – but they had to be able to adapt. Names like WHSmith diversified into e-books in reaction to the success of the Kindle, and Jessops attempted to emphasise its photo-printing service and the sales of accessories to cameras. For WHSmith, they were moderately successful, with profits of £102 million reported last October; for Jessops however, even that was not enough in a rapidly changing business environment.

So, what’s the impact in the long term? The fact is that 2013 will definitely see more high-street names close, possibly for good if buyers cannot be found. If retailers don’t close, they will definitely downsize or reconsider their position – one reason for WHSmith’s resilience is that its Chief Executive, Kate Swann, has shifted the emphasis of the business away from the entertainment sector towards stationery. But does the collapse of so many big names mean the end of the high street? Not necessarily, for administration does not mean a retailer is gone for good – GAME, now owned by a private investment firm, is reported to be looking to purchase numerous stores formerly owned by its rival, HMV.

The most important lesson for high-street retailers is that the business world is changing, and reliance on past success as an indicator of prosperity in the future is a mistake. It is inevitable that some big names will close, but for those who survive, there are unparalleled opportunities to expand in response to the rise of internet shopping and shopping via smartphone apps. There are benefits to having physical shops on the high street for a retailer, but they cannot be its only source of income; in order to succeed it would seem, retailers need strong sales online as well as on the high street.

Which footballers are which drugs?

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Jose Bosingwa – Cocaine

Suspiciously expensive for the little quality you get in return, and notoriously popular in West London clubs.

Portuguese wing-back Jose Bosingwa, like cocaine, came to Chelsea in a big way and cost a lot of money. You should always be suspicious of the guy who says “No, honestly, this is the good stuff mate, it’ll get you right fucking going”, whether that’s FC Porto President Jorge da Costa trying to convince Roman Abramovich to part with £16m in 2008, or the weird Sex Offender-looking old guy in the club who is selling what he calls gak at £80 a gram.

Having the reputation of being quite glamorous but actually being very underwhelming, Bosingwa has stuck around West London, moving to Queen’s Park Rangers in 2011. Why is there such an obsession?

Michael Owen – Laughing Gas

People get nostalgia about when both of these seemed like the best thing ever. You probably have fuzzy memories of Owen being quite good – that run against Argentina, that double against Arsenal in the FA Cup. We all thought he was on top of the world.

Also, remember that time when you filled up a balloon at a 14th birthday party with nitrous oxide and thought your head was going to fall off? You probably thought you were on top of the world too. Then half a minute later the feeling had completely gone. And now Michael Owen plays for Stoke City.

But when you were young, both were exciting prospects – another English golden boy to win us the World Cup someday (errr….) and an exciting and harmless way to feel like you’re subverting your parents with a whipped cream dispenser.

And that’s what defines these two things, being utterly harmless – Owen’s one Capital One Cup goal every 18 months having as much long-lasting effect as your fifteen-second canister high . 

Carlos Tevez – MDMA / Pills

If only for the fact that Carlos Tevez looks like he is permanently gurning – and is very popular in East London. Tevez almost single-handedly saved West Ham in 2007 and so has a lot of fans east of EC1 these days. I’m not convinced he doesn’t drop a couple of hours before every game either, running around with a furious energy in every game.

Pundits mistake this running for trying to win the ball back in order to score a goal, but I think if he ever did win the ball back off defenders, he’d probably just hug it and tell it what a ‘great ball’ it is, and that “we really should hang out more”.

Nicolas Anelka – Alcohol

Like alcohol, former-Chelsea, Manc hester City, Bolton, Arsenal, Real Madrid, PSG, Fenerbahce and Liverpool striker Nicolas Anelka has been found practically everywhere and is a reliable source of scoring.

One of the first memories of football fans of our generation will be Anelka as an 18-year old being a cool, exotic part of Arsenal’s double-winning season in 1998. Likewise, unless you are Muslim or Macaulay Culkin, alcohol will be one of your first experiences of drugs, too.

And now in the modern age, Anelka is still currently scoring for Shanghai Shenzua in China. And everyone still drinks.

Dimitar Berbatov – Ketamine

можем да се отпуснеш?” is Bulgarian for ‘Can we chill the fuck out please?’.

Looking permanently sedated, Berbatov is in a perennial existential crisis at both being voted Bulgaria’s Sexiest Man 2006 and playing in a team with Chris Baird. Every time Steve Sidwell runs down a blind alley and manages to shin pad the ball into touch, Berbatov looks like he might go into a k-hole.

Bebe – Mephedrone

Both popping up on the Manchester scene a couple of years ago, Bebe and mephedrone are now a bit of a running joke. Neither having had a lasting stay in culture, both buyers of mephedrone (public school dubstep fans) and Bebe (Manchester United) are probably both quite embarrassed about how much money they spent on their two purchases.

United reportedly spent £7m on the ex-homeless striker, who has amounted to nothing, while teenagers would spend up to £25 on grams of drone back in the day, all just so that Skrillex sounded acceptable.

Duncan Ferguson – Heroin

Both popular in Scotland in the mid-1990s, and both absolutely terrifying.

Both football and drugs are supposed to be fun, pleasant escapes from reality, but both Ferguson and Heroin seem to be examples of these two things which, as Super Hans says, go beyond fun and actually become quite nasty.

Ferguson was such a violent, aggressive striker that he was actually jailed for 3 months in 1994 for assaulting an opposing defender. It’s probably best to stay away from both Ferguson and smack in any serious capacity.

Review: The Joy Formidable – Wolf’s Law

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It was said of the writer James Joyce that in order to artistically ‘breathe’ he had to ‘break all the windows’. It is an image that resonates with The Joy Formidable: this band is so desperate to be arena-successful, it will attempt edgy artistic nuance by destroying what little decent music it has. ‘Bats’ and ‘This Ladder is Ours’ just reek of excess: a constant clamour as each instrument tries to be heard over the other.

Still, Wolf’s Law does have its highlights, mostly when the band experiments. You can’t help but admire a band willing to write a song in five beats per bar: it shows a spirit of originality and at least an attempt to cover new ground. The simple plod of ‘Little Blimp’ is genuinely enjoyable, as a head-banging-offbeat
bass riff carries the main focus. There is a high point of the album, as well, in the song ‘Silent Treatment’, with its daintiness of tone, thoughtful instrumental delivery and skilful interweaving of melodies. 

The album is a demonstration of that tiresome cliché ‘less is more’. On the one hand, there are these mindless  walls of sound in ‘This Ladder is Ours’, the chorus of ‘Tendons’ and ‘The Leopard and The Lung’, which are all kinds of musical anaesthetics that numb the distinction between music and noise. 

But on the other, we get some beautiful understanding of the music, as in ‘Silent Treatment’ and the detailed composition of ‘The Hurdle’. It is certainly worth a listen, if you can ignore the moments of wanton over-production, and uncover this album’s rare little sparkles.

Review: Foxygen – We Are The 21st Century Ambassadors of…

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For the past two years, alternative music has been particularly retrospective, and Foxygen feel very much like the sum of their recent retro-rock influences, rather than anything more. The psychedelic slouch of 21st Century feels like a platonic imitation of an imitation. Foxygen do a good impression of The Black Keys, and an ever better one of Tame Impala, to whom they will inevitably (and unfavourably) be compared. The band’s imitative tendencies, however, mean they can only ever be so convincing in their own right. Foxygen make all the right noises, and that’s precisely the issue with this album: these noises have been made before, and made better. 

Foxygen’s commitment to a west-coast psychedelic aesthetic creates a strong sense of cohesion across these nine tracks, but feels rather slavish. Where there are moments of genuine emotional resonance, they are, without exception, tainted by the heavy-handed addition of a wig-out coda or a ‘whoa, dude!’ change of tempo or key. ‘Shuggie’ unfurls elegantly for all of a minute before it’s interrupted by a half-baked T-Mobile advert-soundalike chorus. ‘No Destruction’ and ‘Oh Yeah’ are similarly blunted by their long, inert concluding phrases, whilst ‘Bowling Trophies’ resembles just such a coda shorn of its parent song. 

On occasion, Foxygen cleverly subvert their tendency towards retro-worship. The all-male Ronettes-style harmonies of ‘On Blue Mountain’, for example, are genuinely funny, and swell within the piece to gorgeous beauty. Such moments of self-conscious humour, however, don’t disguise the truth they attempt to undermine. Their exhortations to “rearrange your mind/if it makes you feel fine”, or “chew on gum/if it makes you have fun” make 21st Century feel tie-dyed by numbers. If Foxygen are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace and Love, their album is their embassy. They have the flag and they speak the language, but the turf they tread is someone else’s.

And All That Jazz

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I think the best way to capture the spirit of this evening is to say that if you were considering buying a ticket but didn’t, you made a huge mistake. The entire event is testament to the reason that jazz has never quite gone out of fashion.

First to take the floor was the Cambridge University Jazz Orchestra (CUJO). The contrast of the opening, energetic ‘Liberty City’ with the more subdued ‘Carmelo’s By The Freeway’ is an excellent showcase of their versatility.
Even on the most rapid passages, the notes flow gently and effortlessly. ‘My One and Only Love’ is CUJO’s venture into ballad territory, and this shows perhaps their only weakness – that they tend to dominate the room. A special
mention should go out to McMurran’s piece ‘Continuum’, which is named appropriately for its sense of constant motion. He does an excellent job combining fluid timings with a dynamic Latin rhythm, and his work needs more
public exposure. Despite their energy being somewhat uncontrollable, there’s a slight lack of what might be termed ‘band spirit’ until ‘Quite Firm’, where we see the playfulness that distinguishes a good jazz band from a great one.
Second is our own native jazz band. ‘Nostalgia in Times Square’ is much gentler than Cambridge’s offering, and perhaps a slower start, but the brass is in many ways softer and more lyrical. The band’s sheer playfulness, especially
drummer Alex Blackwell, is a theme throughout. Andy Tyler gives a performance of jazz flute that would shame Ron Burgundy. The piece ‘Cute’ is perhaps a less effective contrast than the Cambridge set, and indeed the OUJO neglects ballads until ‘A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square’. The highlight is undoubtedly someone who will go far in the jazz world, Fran Aquilina.
Her voice is understated when it needs to be, but there is real passion in the climax of every piece she sings. Their performance of ‘Minuano’ demands a label of its own. It is too easy to get lost in the harmonies and its pulsing, organic style. Initially soft and understated, you then find yourself listening to roaring brass harmonies and genuinely wondering how on earth you got there. ‘Little Darling’ is the only slight let-down, which suffers from the same issue that Cambridge had: that it is all too easy to lapse into an overtly heavy style in a slow movement.
Despite being entitled a ‘jazz-off’, I cannot declare a victor. Both played to an incredibly professional standard. After hearing this, I want nothing more than to curl up with my jazz albums and tenderly whisper that I will never abandon them again.

A book to tear you apart

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The short rise of Joy Division and tragic early death of Ian Curtis is a story that has been told a great many times. Unknown Pleasures, the autobiography by Peter Hook (Joy Division and New Order bassist) doesn’t exactly shatter these legends, but it does ground them in the grubby and often unpleasant world of the late ‘70s post-punk movement.

A word of warning – if you don’t know a fair bit about Joy Division et al before going in, Unknown Pleasures can be a little impenetrable. Hook seems to assume fairly detailed awareness of the ins and outs of the scene as entry-level knowledge, and sometimes this can come across as a little alienating. On the other hand, the level of detail that has gone into this is often extremely rewarding. The focus in Unknown Pleasures is largely placed on the actual process of putting a band together and making music. The track-by-track analyses of Joy Division albums offer a depth that many other rock ’n’ roll-type memoirs don’t.

Similarly, the timelines of events that are placed after Hook’s narration present a nice offset to his personal experience, grounding his observations through newspaper clippings, reviews and old interview segments. The organisation of these different titbits does serve to break up the pace a little, but this offers some relief from the slightly bleak narration that is often on offer.

Yes, Unknown Pleasures is often a grim read: it’s safe to say that this is not an aspirational book, making the ‘band’ lifestyle seem about as much fun as a colonoscopy in the rain. Chapter after chapter describes grim hotels and terrible gigs. But there’s an admirable honesty in this that’s oddly appealing.

Similarly, most of Peter Hook’s memories of Ian Curtis are those of Curtis as “one of the lads” who would play pranks and get pissed with his mates. Not to say the more artistic parts of Ian Curtis did not exist – Hook is emphatic about this. Unknown Pleasures is an account of refreshing honesty – and one that any fan would be foolish to ignore. But it is unlikely to appeal to anyone less specifically interested.

Preview: The Aleph

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Cherwell’s Verdict:
“Gripping, gritty psychological fantasy”

Tension abounds among the claustrophobic spaces of this psychological take on science fiction, written by Oxford student Eli Keren. The plot revolves around a mission to recover a mysterious object, the ‘Aleph’, about which the five members of the cast know nothing, and which they cannot discuss. Yet with the object successfully found, the play goes on to explore the rapidly increasing difficulties faced by a small ground under huge pressure, guarding a seductively dangerous object for which the one rule to obey is that “they
can’t open the case”.

There is something Lord-of-the-Rings-esque about the whole psychological/fantasy set-up; I am reminded particularly strongly of Merry’s
tantalising obsession with Sauramon’s seeing stone in the final instalment of the trilogy. Yet to compare Alex Wood (who plays Junks, the character most susceptible to the temptations of the forbidden Aleph) to a hobbit is to pass
over his truly convincing and at times shocking portrayal of his character’s mental disintegration.

All of the actors, but particularly Junks and Captain Evans (Will Law), excel in this gripping, gritty production, in a way which makes them highly believable even within the slightly heavy-handed dependence on the language of military fantasies (there is much talk of ‘secret missions’, ‘returning to base’ and ‘reporting to the commander’). Identical uniforms and a relatively stark backdrop of two chairs, some sandbags, and a few cans of baked beans,
means that all of the energy has to come from the characters themselves – and yet they undoubtedly carry it off in style.

Conversations fly, with each angry and F-word-spattered speech bounding off the last with a veneer of flawless confidence even five days before the opening night. But anger and instability isn’t all this cast is capable of: another particularly moving scene is between the young and vulnerable Madison (Lizhi Howard) and Captain Evans, whose tragic sacrifice just manages to skirt around the edge of sentimentality and remain within the realms of the genuinely moving.

The first half of this 70 minute play is, I am told, less dark than the extract I saw from later on, such that there may possibly be less emphasis on the psychological aspect at which these actors are so proficient.

But whilst I was unconvinced initially by the idea of science fiction, of which I cannot pretend usually to be a huge admirer, this play certainly won me over, and persuaded me of the genre’s huge potential for timeless relevance.