Monday, May 5, 2025
Blog Page 1564

Carbon Rod runs for NUS President

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An inanimate carbon rod has announced its candidacy for the presidency of the National Union of Students.

The Rod appears to have been inspired to run for office after the success of another inanimate carbon rod in a recent episode of The Simpsons in which, among other achievements, the Rod beats Homer to the position of Worker of the Week.

The Rod’s online manifesto page declares “as President, I will represent all students, regardless of politics, and without sarcasm or aggression or inaccessible language and behaviour, because as an inanimate rod, I am incapable of having or displaying emotions.”

“Place your trust in Rod, and I believe, together, we can build a student movement, and a workers bomb to define a generation.”

The Carbon Rod is also running with the more radical policy of building a bomb to destroy “the parasitic classes that are destroying our society and our Student Union.”

It argues that “only through dynamic and efficient construction of this bomb can we return control of Student Unions to their students, and workplaces to their workers.”

David J Townsend, OUSU President, told Cherwell “I think I.C. Rod has a lot going for him: strong, hardy, reliable, a hero of the Space Programme and a prominent guest star on The Simpsons.

“Truth be told, I see a lot of myself in him: it’s a little known fact that I’m 18% carbon by mass.  In these crazy silicon chip times, it’s nice to see a candidate that brings us back to good old fashioned carbon-based values- ROD 2013!”

He denied that the Rod’s candidacy is a criticism of student unions: “it’s a sign that students, even in the far remove of the NUS, have a sense of humour about themselves.

“Oxford is unusual in not having more jest and zest in its student union elections: at most universities you would at the very least have someone in a gorilla suit running to be president.”

However, Oxford undergraduates were more critical of the role played by the Students Union in Oxford.

Shirley Halse, a second year English student commented “the only thing they’re useful for is discounts; they’re like the union but not quite as bad.”

Raph Torrance told the paper “an inanimate carbon rod has more personality than the average NUS candidate.”

Michael Zhang, a physicist from Lincoln, expressed his support for the Rod: “I think the Carbon Rod will make a big difference, it would be a lot better than the other guys.”

Endeavour being filmed in Oxford

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The TV series Endeavour was being filmed at various locations across Oxford earlier this week. 

An Inspector Morse prequel, Endeavour is set in the mid-1960s, with Shaun Evans playing the lead role. 

Filming took place at Keble College on Sunday and Monday, at Holywell Street and New College Lane on Tuesday, and around the Radcliffe Camera and Hertford on Wednesday. 

Roger Boden, the Bursar of Keble College, said, “The episode will, I believe, be the first time Keble has featured in the Morse saga.”

Somerville and New face building problems

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STUDENTS AT SOMERVILLE and New Colleges have been angered by accommodation problems at their respective colleges due to extensive renovations.

New College’s kitchens, buttery and beer cellar are being refurbished from the end of Hilary Term 2013 to the end of Michaelmas Term 2014. 

The bursar of New College told Cherwell, “There will be temporary kitchens and hall seating for around 150 students and the SCR in Holywell Quad.”

These are the first major refurbishments at New College since the 1960s and the loss of space means the college’s commemoration ball this year has been reduced from 1000 tickets to 925.

One student at New described the work as a “necessary evil.”

New College students are also facing a separate accommodation crisis, as more third year students than ever will be forced to live out of college in their final year. The current housing system arranged by the JCR guarantees rooms for first, second and fourth years. Those students who do poorly in their second year ballot are eligible to remain in college as finalists.

According to the bursar, “The whole student accommodation policy is to be reviewed. Fewer third years can be accommodated next year since more fourth years seem to want to live in.”

JCR President Ellie Davidson has called for an emergency meeting on Friday evening in which students will decide whether to maintain the current ballot system, which the JCR claims is “basically defunct”. A motion to change the system, making second years live out of college, instead of third years, will also be discussed.

At Somerville, the renovation works taking place at the Wolfson Building are coming to an end, having been extended beyond their initial deadline, causing serious problems for a number of students. There have been numerous complaints over noise issues, as well as concerns that the renovation was taking far longer than expected.

Somerville JCR President Marsha Sudar was supportive of the actions taken by her college in order to minimise the impact on student life. “There have been some problems with the length of the Wolfson project and disruption that it has caused to some students. However, college has been most helpful in efforts to improve communication regarding the works. The need for this project has been balanced with the importance of providing students with an effective working environment. Students were presented with the option of changing rooms and those most affected have been offered a rent rebate.”

Andrew Parker, a spokesperson for the college, told Cherwell, “A rent rebate was given to those affected in the final two weeks of last term, and last week and this weekend we have offered alternative accommodation to those directly affected. Nobody chose to take that up. We have been sending out regular updates to everybody affected so that they knew about what was happening, when and why.” He added that, “The investment is to increase and enhance facilities within the college, and just to make the point the first event in the new extension will be a student bop, this Saturday.” 

However, one student pointed out that, “We haven’t had a bop in there since last Trinity, it’s been extremely upsetting.” The same student added, “There was a lot of anger over the noise and disruption, for students living in Wolfson, as well as in Park and Penrose, the buildings on either side.

“We were being told that the works would be mostly done over the summer – but they were nowhere near done at the beginning of Michaelmas. People have had workmen walking around on the roof outside their first floor window all year. College said they would definitely be finished by this term but when I arrived back in 0th week, they weren’t done.”

Somerville votes in favour of new tortoise

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SOMERVILLE COLLEGE’S JCR has voted to purchase a tortoise, with the motion passing by a vote of 17 to 7 at Sunday evening’s JCR meeting. 

The motion also calls for the creation of two elected tortoise keeper positions, who “will be responsible for feeding, cleaning, poking and general interaction with the tortoise.” The initial cost is expected to be £350. 

William Truefitt, second-year English student at Somerville, commented, “Who doesn’t love tortoises? They’re dynamic, charming, and give great chat. My only problem is that I feel tortoises are being somewhat sidelined as a species. They’re capable of so much more than just being semi-ironic JCR motions and pets. I’m sure that in Oxford, of all places, there must be some sort of ‘tortoise upwards mobility front’. They should get involved.” 

The tortoise’s name is set to be decided by a future JCR vote. Somerville undergraduate Ella Waldman suggested a name: “Although Somerville may well choose a female tortoise, in keeping with our strong female history, according to my extensive experience of reptile gender identification I don’t think there should be too much problem in calling the tortoise Stuart. It’s a good, honest name.” 

Somerville considered a range of animals before deciding on a tortoise, including a parrot, fish, cat, and wallabies. JCR Vice-President & Treasurer Zoe Fannon revealed, “We did consider whether a polar bear might be more appropriate to Somerville’s northern location.” 

The timing of the JCR vote gave pause to one student. “Is it somewhat worrying that we’ve passed a college motion welcoming slow-moving tortoise flesh the same night that a long-standing discussion of introducing meat-free mondays was resoundingly rejected by the MCR?” 

Somerville may see fit to enter their tortoise into Oxford’s traditional tortoise races. Harriet Soper, a third year English student at Corpus, said, “Foxe and Oldham, Corpus’s beloved tortoises, are quivering in their tiny shells. We wish their JCR luck.” 

Meanwhile, former Corpus tortoise-keeper Alexander Coupe commented, “We see this as an aggressive move from Somerville College – as if giving the world Margaret Thatcher wasn’t enough.” 

However, it may be some time before Somerville poses a challenge in the race; the baby tortoise is a couple of years away from growing into racing size. 

Last year’s race was won by Zoom! of Worcester. Past winners include Jesus’ Tilly and Foxe of Corpus. Other members of the Testudinidae family residing in Oxford include Mr. T (Brasenose), Foxe and Oldham (Corpus), Percy (Univ), Frederick (Lincoln), Mackie (Regent’s Park), and Turtle (Christ Church). Wadham voted to purchase a tortoise last Michaelmas; its name is yet to be announced. 

Nostalgia just isn’t what it used to be

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Period drama is no new phenomenon: us Brits have a serious nostalgic streak, especially if it involves outrageously rich characters (we don’t ever worry about where the money comes from) with preposterously large houses.

However, the huge financial success of the increasingly ridiculous Downton Abbey has sparked demand for the genre, and we’re not in short supply: while some are just a tired combination of bustles and boredom, several offer decent plots alongside the covetable costumes and mansions, as well as dialogue that doesn’t make you laugh for all the wrong reasons. 

But what is it we’re so desperate to ‘remember’ about the British character and history? 

Golly Gosh what Female Solidarity in the 1950s:

Call the Midwife ensemble drama about an eclectic group of nuns and  nurses working as midwives, based on Jennifer Worth’s memoirs. Naturally the subject matter entails a lot of babies – probably too many for all but the broodiest of tastes – and too much umbilical cord for anyone’s taste. But if you can stomach this and the almost equally nauseating voice-over that ends each episode it’s well worth a watch. Set in the East End, it’s a far cry from the glamour of most recent period dramas, and focuses on new recruit Jenny’s struggle to come to terms with the poverty and squalor surrounding her. The show is genuinely moving in its portrayal of the damage inflicted by the cruelty of the workhouses, it’s also genuinely funny – largely due to Miranda Hart’s show-stealing turn as ‘Chummy’.

Gadzukes aren’t Brits ‘endearingly’ stuck-up:

Mr Selfridge is ITV’s new Sunday evening offering (taking the vacated Downton slot) and it certainly seems as though they have high hopes of flogging this one to the Americans as well. The opening episode is obsessed with the American retail entrepreneur charging about London shaking up the stiff-collared and snobby Brits with his shockingly progressive ways: trying to get a shopgirl to get the gloves out on the counter is just one of his heinous crimes (for which he is, naturally, ejected from the establishment). I think we’re supposed to find Mr Selfridge terribly dashing and debonair but he’s actually incredibly irritating, with his tendency to indulge in selfaggrandizing speeches and generally behave as if he’s curing cancer rather than flogging socks. Nevertheless the attention to detail in the sets, costumes and props is impressive and maybe the characterisation will pick up in time. It’s on Sundays at 9pm if you want to find out.

By Jove the Victorians were Dark and Twisty:

Hunderby is the latest offering from the remarkable Julia Davis (Nighty Night, Gavin and Stacey): a bizarre, highly original, twisted Gothic comedy with strong Du Maurier influences, set in the 1830s. It’s fantastically filthy and contains some of the most horrendous sex scenes known to man, prefaced by such tempting invitations as the curate’s “Come bride, ‘tis a quarter after ten, we shall intercourse until a 30 after”. The writing is inspired and there’s been no expense spared on the production values: extensive period details and stunning exterior locations all accentuate the absurd and tastelessness of the characters and plots. I can’t promise you’ll love it, but I can promise you will never have seen anything like it and that you might even like it. 

Jiminy Cricket – look at our British tradition of wonderful eccentricity:

Blandings is adapted from P.G. Wodehouse’s series of novels and short stories. The problem with adapting Wodehouse is that it is flawless in the original: one should never attempt to improve on the words of a man who can write that “she looked like she’d been poured into her clothes and forgotten to say when.” Unfortunately this adaptation strays a little too far from the original and at times relies on crude slapstick rather than letting Wodehouse’s words get the laughs they so deserve.

Inspired by the catwalk: Floral Bloom

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Younger and fresher, with shorter hemlines and playful prints, it’s easy to see why the label’s S/S ‘13 collection was such a hit at New York Fashion Week. Models walked the catwalk in Walter Steiger mega wedges, some holding Beckham’s signature oversized tote, others accessorised with cross-the-body box bags and chunky resin bangles.

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Get the look with Topshop’s quilted floral separates, and pair with platform wedges from Office and Whistles’ Rivington pouch bag. Finish by accessorising with a chunky bangle from Block.

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image: topshop.co.uk

1. Matching separates are back for Spring-Summer. Stylish and effortless, it’s easy to see why this trend is still a fashion favorite. Try pairing this Quilted Floral Tee with its coordinating Jacquard Origami Skirt. (Topshop, Tee £45, Skirt £40)

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image: topshop.co.uk

2. Toughen up floral prints with these suede Over the Top Wedges. With a 7cm platform, they’re sure to make a statement (Office, £70)

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image: office.com

3. Jewellery is a great way give your outfit an instant update. Also seen at Kenzo and Jean Paul Gaultier, a Bangle is a must for the new season. (notonthehighstreet.com, £38 each)

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image: notonthehighstreet.com 

4. A Little Black Bag is a wardrobe staple. But the detachable chain on this Rivington Pouch makes it a wardrobe must have! Bag by day, clutch by night… And who said fashion isn’t practical. (Rivington Pouch,Whistles, £75)

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image: whistles.com

Review: Django Unchained

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Quentin Tarantino returns this week with Django Unchained: an ultra-violent historical revenge fantasy (think Inglourious Basterds but with slavery). As usual, Tarantino’s film has been the centre of controversy and had some sniffy reviews. But I think it’s brilliant – all nearly three hours of it – entertaining, funny, and cleverer than you can register on first viewing.

It’s 1858, Django (Jamie Foxx) is a slave freed by Dr Shultz (Christoph
Waltz), a bounty hunter, to help him identify three criminal brothers. The
two bond bloodily and Shultz helps Django find his wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), from whom he has been separated. This takes them
to Candyland, Di Caprio’s slave plantation.

The film’s real strength, aside from Tarantino’s usual lunatic-brilliance and comi-violence, is in its genre play. Django Unchained is part
Spaghetti Western (the name is taken from a 1966 Western) and part fairytale: ‘Broomhilda’ is a damsel-indistress of German folklore. Indeed,
Washington’s character does little aside from screaming, swooning
and being ridiculously attractive.

The tone of the film is as absurd as you’d hope, aided by a soundtrack
which combines traditional western and country music with Tupac during moments of triggerhappiness (what this says about the violent revenge of a slave and the violent narratives of gangster-rap is a disturbing
question).

If you are so inclined, there is a smorgasbord of potential reasons to be offended, from cinematised slavery, depictions of black Americans, depictions of white Americans through to glorified violence and inconsequential murder. And critics have been hitting this buffet hard.

Tarantino’s latest film undeniably raises some dark questions about cinema, history and violence. But at least you leave asking them. Just don’t direct them at Tarantino himself. As Channel 4‘s Krishnan Guru-Murthy discovered, he’ll “shut your butt down.”

Maybe there is something fairly dark about sitting in a room full of people laughing joyously at what is basically an extremely gory massacre, but Tarantino has a get-out-of-jail-free card: it’s funny. The script is sharp, the visuals are brilliant (watch out for the KKK’s masked charge and Django’s Austin Powers moment) and ultimately, thanks to Tarantino’s morally-unambiguous piece of history (cynically chosen?), the audience laughs their way to Django’s triumphantly silly end.

Get graphic!

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Be it classic or contemporary, graphic black eyeliner takes centre stage this winter. The trend highlights your eyes and the versatility of the product. Whether you choose to channel starkly modern, or old-world glamour, be bold. All-out eyes demand that the rest be kept simple.

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image:vogue.co.uk

Pat McGrath at Lanvin created wide-eyed drama with wing-tips. The evenly heavy top stroke was set of by a smidgen of black on the middle of the lower lash line.  

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image:vogue.co.uk

The girls at Moschino wore the feline flick, soaring upwards past the lash line. Aquascutum showed an ombre, squared-off eye, with lashings of mascara- a modern twist on the classic cat-eye.

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image”makeupforlife.net

The geometric gaze: Geometrical shapes and lines make a striking statement. The lines at Mary Katrantzou played with the space between the inner corner of the eye and the outer tip of the eyebrow, accentuating the upper lid. Erdem displayed tiny triangles at the outer corner. Tom Pecheux painted parallel lines, elegant and elongated, complete with glimmering inner corners at Altuzarra. Black against bare faces effect fiercely modern looks, apt for all hours.

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image: makeupforlife.net

TIPS

1. The eyelids tend to get greasy, so start off by reducing the oily residue with an alcohol-free makeup remover. Apply a light layer of foundation to even the base and finish off with a dusting of translucent powder.

2. Remember, strong lines must be penned perfectly, or not at all! Gel liners smudge (deliberately) more easily and can create contours for rounder eyes, while fine pens work well for elongated and oval shapes. Always glide across the lash line from the inner to outer corner.

 3. Top tips: 30 seconds in the freezer pre-sharpening avoid waxy pencil points.

4. Battle the urge to pull your lid taut to avoid a distorted line when you let go.

OUR CHOICE:

MAC’s Blacktrack Fluidline liquid liner appears to be the product of the season, resulting in clean- cut lines and strong sweeps. So without further ado, pick, and get painting those peepers!

The Bridget Jones of Oxford: The Elusive Zen

For 2012 I took up yoga. Not just any old yoga, but that hard-core Bikram one that is all the rage with food-deprived celebrities and ano-fashion magazine types (at least it was last year). Now that all the big girls (don’t worry, Mika thinks you’re beautiful) and old people have cottoned on, it’s a little less this season and a little more fat-camp-esque.

Essentially, for all of you who are still in the dark on this one, you spend an hour and a half – ninety bloody minutes; five thousand four hundred sodding seconds – in an uncomfortably hot room, in ridiculously uncomfortable positions, and looking and feeling…well, fucking uncomfortable. You’re not allowed to leave the room unless you’re about to die or if you vomit on the instructor (sorry, I mean the ‘Yogi’). This has actually happened in the past, to someone else thankfully – the vomit, not death. Not that death is off the cards – some days it feels like it’s the only way out.

They tell you that it’s going to be relaxing and that you will feel complete. It’s not.  I don’t know about the stringy old baggage in the front row, but I do know that I speak for the majority of the girls in the back with the ‘bubbly personalities’, when I say that I absolutely did not sign up to find my Zen – unless, of course, it comes in a tight, toned body that I can call my own.  Thirty classes are all it will take to become the elastic goddess you yearn to be, they tell you. Funny!

By the end of last week’s class (my fortieth), I felt so pummelled by life that I could hardly stand. I had spent an entire session trying to find my centre while an overweight German wheezed and groaned next to me. I was going to say that he perved on me as well but the harsh reality glaring back at me in the mirror would say otherwise. In fact, why do they even have mirrors in a pit of hell like that? No innocent mind should ever be inflicted with the image that was being reflected back at me.

For 2013…I’m giving it up and I want my money back.

Review: Angels in America

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★★★★☆
Four Stars

Angels in America is a three hour epic. Sitting in the auditorium before the performance began I wondered whether I would make it through. The front of the stage is empty, bar a simple coffin, which remains onstage for the entire first half. An effective symbol of the ever imposing spectre of death and the fate that Prior Walter (Ed Barr-Sim) faces. The red curtain hides all else from view. Opening the play is a challenge which falls wholly on the shoulders of Natasha Heliotis, who rises to it well. Alone on stage she is Rabbi Ibsidor, eulogising at a funeral, a eulogy addressed to us. The audience is the congregation. It is demanded that we suspend our disbelief and engage with the show.

This is a demand which continues throughout the entire performance. The rest of the set is similarly sparse but superbly designed. The stage is on two levels. The black space is dominated by steps and the somewhat gothic double bed they lead to. Other locations are created using only the bear essentials. These are brought on and off as required. Unfortunately this entailed scene changes by stage hands, which became tedious and sometimes interrupted the flow of the piece. The only saving grace of the scene changes were in their drawing attention to the brilliant soundtrack. However, the overall approach certainly proved that less is more. As an audience we are given the appropriate cues but must work to fill out the picture. We invest in the actors and trust in them to create the drama. The result is an audience that is captivated. In suspending our disbelief the script’s surrealism becomes believable and can be accepted and appreciated without the need for dodgy effects.

The actors deal with the surreal admirably. They appear from trapdoors and jumping off the back of the stage, they disappear with grace and a certain magic. Selali Fiamanya excels as Mr. Lies of the International Order of Travel Agents – a figment of Harper Pitt’s (Amelia Sparling) valium-fueled delusions. Sparling’s performance is also solid, if occasionally a little self-conscious.

The overall standard of acting in Angels is very high. Special mention should go to Barney White who is spectacular as Roy Cohn. He is utterly convincing and his American drawl never wavers. Ed Barr-Sim also convinces as Prior, who he plays with confidence and sensitivity. Arty Froushan successfully asks us to empathise with Louis Ironson, a man who leaves his dying lover. The conversation he shares with Fiamanya’s Belize is a highlight (despite the empty coffee cups, which are sipped on with great frequency). Dugie Young, as Joe Pitt was wooden at times – this was perhaps caused by the fact that his performance was too often directed to the wall – though he did warm up as the play ran on. Georgina Hellier switches between her four roles with expert differentiation and skill. The two Priors-from-the-past embody the humour than pervades the play.

At the play’s worst you will look at your watch in hope of the interval and ponder why the doctor is wearing Crocs when the play is set in the 1980s. At its best you will laugh, cry, revel in tension and reflect on the challenging themes of Tony Kushner’s script. Overall, much credit should be given to Jack Sain, who has dealt very well with a challenging piece.